Child relocation to a different province, but still 50/50??

[letgo]

You tell him that his mom should not have talked to him about it before speaking to you. That you love him very much and don�t want to be apart from him even for two months.

He�s old enough that you can have a frank conversation about wanting to be a part of his life and that if you were still married it would be a family discussion with you included.

Your response to your ex is no you don�t agree, his home is here and if she wants to move with her family, you will happily have your son move in permanently with trips out to her (and no support since she will pay for his travel). I would also tell her that you are requesting her other family members not engage your son in the discussion as it is between the two of you.

Talk to a lawyer about next steps�not filing anything but next steps in case she decides to just go. They may have some advice. Tell them straight out you only want some advice and not to move with anything. They may send a letter to her on your request that may set her straight. Like the others said, she knows she can�t legally do it.

I should also mention that this may seem really cruel that she is being prevented from moving and she may lay on the emotions and guilt but this is your kid too. Just because she has repartnered and had more kids does not mean she has more power. You are this child�s other parent and that holds as much weight.

That's a good way of putting it and I will also make mention of the family talking to him about it. I will be talking to a lawyer (without retaining one). I think she actually believes she would be allowed to have him go there with her. There's a chance that if we went to court I would have to represent myself, not sure I could afford to go through another round with a lawyer.

[rockscan]

Child relocation to a different province, but still 50/50??

Why wouldn't he go for full CS if the move causes him to have full (60%+) custody ?

My understanding is that a move such as this is inconsequential to CS amounts ... just like if she got 60%+ access, he would now be on the hook for full CS (plus travel).

It’s an offer to avoid a fight. But if she incurs a cost to exercise parenting time then it could be ordered less than table due to costs for travel. I’ve seen it happen in other cases. And if she moves and the time changes, OP will have reduced cs to see his kid.

OP, you might want to do a search of this forum for moving as well as a search on canlii for cases. It will give you some info as well.

Im sure your ex has hyped kid up because she knows she is taking him away from his dad that he sees on a regular basis.

[letgo]

OP, you might want to do a search of this forum for moving as well as a search on canlii for cases. It will give you some info as well.
Im sure your ex has hyped kid up because she knows she is taking him away from his dad that he sees on a regular basis.

Thanks I've read a few case files from there on relocation and have a good idea of the way they determine the best interests. If this does go to trial do you think it would be wise to request the OCL to be involved?

[Stillbreathing]

Does she already have a job in Alberta? Does she have a date in mind? If she does you may want to bring an urgent motion to prevent her from taking your son which you will 100% be granted.

All the other posters are correct in that you should take steps to prevent this from happening. In addition to the reasons all the other posters have mentioned as to why this will not work, here are a few more:
- your child will not be able to participate in any extracurricular activities or sports such as swimming lessons, hockey, etc
- entering the teen years, friends will become more important than parents, and a distant parent will be at the bottom of the list
- if your ex is moving anywhere other than Calgary or Edmonton. getting to the airport in the winter is a major PITA with treacherous weather and road conditions and they won’t be willing to do this for years on end
-in Alberta, your child can get their driver’s learners permit at age 14. You will miss this milestone as well as many others in his life

[rockscan]

Good to know.

Curious, does this generally happen only with the original parenting schedule was 50/50? Or would it also apply if full CS was being paid prior as well due to 60%+ access ?

i.e. What would happen to CS if OP's Ex was paying full CS (due to only having EOW) and then moved to Alberta incurring additional travel costs ?

If a child is moved and costs will be incurred for parenting time then sometimes it is ordered. Say if they had less than shared time and ex moved, OP could have his cs reduced to exercise parenting time. If OP moved and left child here he could argue for reduced costs to exercise his parenting time but would more than likely have to pay cs.

I suggested he offer no cs to her as a way to get her to agree without court. Or if he agreed to let him move, he could ask for no cs in return.

It’s more of a case by case basis but normally when a child is moved, cs changes are considered.

[letgo]

Does she already have a job in Alberta? Does she have a date in mind? If she does you may want to bring an urgent motion to prevent her from taking your son which you will 100% be granted.

All the other posters are correct in that you should take steps to prevent this from happening. In addition to the reasons all the other posters have mentioned as to why this will not work, here are a few more

No she doesn't have a job there, should I ask her what her date in mind is before I tell her I'm not in support of her proposal or after I tell her? I was thinking of telling her first and then asking about the move details afterwards.
Thank you for the additional reasons I'm firm in not allowing this to happen.

[arbortrail22]

Just a heads up... ultimately your son will decide. He is of age to decide and by the time this gets in front of a judge or social worker, he will be more than old enough to have a voice. Have a direct conversation with him about the pros and cons... and if he wants to go, make a deal for summer, holidays and spring break. If he doesn't, then offer the same to mom. You will be creating significant drama for your son over the next 2 years from this if you fight in court. Just something to consider ... its not about you and her- its his life.

[letgo]

Ask her first about the date before stating your position -- just in case she's already made imminent plans and you need to file an an urgent motion per StillBreathings comment.

I am pretty sure the plans are not immediate but I will ask soon.

Note: Ex may request a trial run with the 2 months Alberta, 2 months Ontario arrangement. Do not agree to this. That would only bite you in the rear.

Very possible and I will definitely not agree to it thanks for the foresight.

Have a direct conversation with him about the pros and cons... and if he wants to go, make a deal for summer, holidays and spring break.

This is reasonable and I would be okay with that kind of arrangement. He will be back with me in a few days then I can have a conversation.

[Stillbreathing]

Your son is 13, he is NOT at an age where he gets to decide, especially not in the case of his mother moving unilaterally across the country! A judge will put a stop to your ex moving your son. She can go. He will not be allowed to go. The child’s opinion will not matter at all in your case as you have 50/50 and are actively involved in your child’s life. If you had just been released from prison for assaulting your child and had not seen him for many, many years, then there is a slim chance the judge would even read about your child’s wishes, let alone take it into consideration. In fact, I’m not sure you should discuss this matter at all with your child. What you should be saying to him is that this is an adult matter between you and his mother. A judge will not be happy your ex and her family are involving him. Judges will look negatively upon BOTH parents for discussing matters related to the divorce, including contested relocation, with them. It’s an adult matter. Period. Do not discuss this with your children. If your son asks, tell him it’s an adult matter between you, his mom and the judge. Then leave it at that.

[letgo]

Your son is 13, he is NOT at an age where he gets to decide, especially not in the case of his mother moving unilaterally across the country! A judge will put a stop to your ex moving your son. She can go. He will not be allowed to go.

Thank you I'll be careful with the words I choose to use and keep him out of the conflict. Appreciate your supportive advice and spirit of help.