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Referencing Proper Last Name?

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  • #16
    Originally posted by Brampton33 View Post
    Its a hyphenated last name for both kids. My ex fought hard in her court papers to try to keep it as her name only. She was lambasted by judges for treating kids as her possession, being self-absorbed/entitled and disregarding me as a father and role in the kids's lives.

    My ex never accepted the notion, but had to go along with it because she was clearly losing her argument. Now that court is over, she only refers to kids by her last name only. One of my kids follows her lead and doesn't refer to his whole name anymore. Thought my ex was supposed to promote the use of his proper last name, rather than the opposite.
    You still haven't answered "what's the big deal of the kids keeping her last name?"

    Like everyone else in this thread has said "You have time with your kids. They know they are part of you". So what if they have their mom's last name? It's as arbitrary as children having their father's last name.

    But really- based on the information you provided and your posts- you both sound sort of high conflict.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by Brampton33 View Post
      Fair enough. I'll just start referring to kids with my last name only. Tit for Tat. Thanks for the insight.

      Unless this is sarcasm, this answer demonstrates the attitude iona described. Tit for tat is childish, petty and controlling.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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      • #18
        Originally posted by Brampton33 View Post
        Fair enough. I'll just start referring to kids with my last name only. Tit for Tat. Thanks for the insight.
        I see your true colours...

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        • #19
          Most parents who are married before they divorce have children with only the fathers last name. My daughter has my last name only and never once has it been an issue with her mother. And she has never even asked the child if she wanted her last name.

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          • #20
            LovingDad1234
            Your ex is f*cked in the head.....she is a borderline personality, there is no medication or cure for that.

            IDK your custody/access situation but I know that she makes a lot of decisions without you and bad mouths you to the child and everyone else. It may back fire on her with the kid.

            I don't agree with blaming you for causing conflict; she is passive aggressive.
            Just keep gathering all the forms she fills out for the record and change the name to the correct on; you may drop a line that you wife is special.

            If you go to court again simply bring it up as an example of her being uncooperative and disobeying the court order. If you get really lucky a judge will simply take the last name away(?).

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            • #21
              Originally posted by velas View Post
              Most parents who are married before they divorce have children with only the fathers last name. My daughter has my last name only and never once has it been an issue with her mother. And she has never even asked the child if she wanted her last name.
              Well....having dad's last name is completely arbitrary. And when you are no longer a family unit, many women want the child(ren) to have a name that reflects their own. Actually more and more, women are requiring it even in intact marriages.

              Many of my friends have given their kids hyphenated names from the get go. Or mom's last name is the kid(s)' middle name...etc etc. My cousin and his wife made a mashup of their last names when they got married.

              Times, they are a changin'.

              I'll bet $1 that Brampton33 only thought I was being logical because I allowed D5 to keep her dad's last name. If I had made the argument that our daughter should have my last name cause I'm published or some other reason my last name is "better" than dads...well- that would be another story.
              Last edited by iona6656; 10-05-2021, 01:43 PM.

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