Hi everyone,
First time posting here. Really glad to have found this forum, lots of useful advice and good to know others are in similar positions. Here's my story.
I'm from the UK and have lived here all my life. I married a Canadian six years ago and she moves from Ottawa to UK at that time. We have a son, Joe, who is now 3y 8m old and was born in the UK. When the wife and I separated last summer she felt she could not cope alone in the UK and wanted to move straight back to Ottawa to live with her mother. I did not fight their decision to move away because I knew that my ex-wife would not be able to cope on her own, having made almost no friends in the UK in the five years of living there and not being willing to work full-time. I felt it was in Joe's best interests not to be in full-time child care in the UK and/or for his mother to be forced to stay in a country she didn't want to be in, and that if she decided to take the issue to court she would probably be allowed to move to Canada with him anyway eventually. Thus I agreed not to fight for custody on the condition that I was allowed to have regular phone/webcam talks with Joe and that the ex-wife would cooperate with this, which she has done with full cooperation.
We signed a Separation Agreement before they left the UK which split our (very limited) finances and agreed that I would pay the standard UK rate of 15% net income in child maintenance, which I have done. The complication lies with travel costs of visitation, since these are of course extremely high. In a desire to keep things as amicable as possible I naively agreed, through our Separation Agreement, to terms which are now turning out to be financially crippling. The Agreement only lasts until we go through with the divorce, which we can do under Canadian law from next month onwards. So it's time to renegotiate, if possible, but everything I read online suggests that I'm going to be even WORSE off than I am already. I currently pay:
1) All my costs if I go to Canada to see Joe
2) Joe's flight costs if he comes over to see me
3) All my ex-wife's flight costs if she brings him over, which she did this summer for three weeks (he is with me now, returning next weekend).
Obviously these costs are basically DOUBLING the amount I am paying for Joe, since 2 or 3 return trans-Atlantic flights per year is a helluva lot in addition to 15% of wages.
I earn $25,000 CDN per year working full-time. My STBX has never worked full-time in her life and refuses to do so, even though she is living with her mother who would be a willing free, full-time childminder for Joe. My STBX has told me she pays absolutely zero to her mother for rent, food or any other bills for either her or Joe. She has told me she is saving almost 100% of her wages plus the money I give her so that she can buy a house WITHOUT a mortgage (i.e. outright) as soon as possible. She predicts that she will be able to do this in 4-5 years time. I do not own house and have absolutely no hope of ever doing so.
Canadian law appears to state that I have no chance of getting my STBX to contribute to my extortionate visitation costs, because I earn more that she does and therefore cannot claim 'hardship' or 'poverty', despite the fact that I will need to save 30% of my net income every year in order to have Joe visit me in the UK just once per year. Is there ANYTHING I can do about this?
There is more...
Since STBX and I separated over a year ago, I have now moved in with a new partner who has a daughter from a previous relationship. Under UK law, our joint claim for Tax Credits decreases by a staggering sum of $500 CDN per month, down to almost nil, because I am legally expected to make a contribution to the costs of raising my partner's daughter even though she is not actually mine. In the UK this would mean that the amount of maintenance I pay to STBX would be marginally decreased, however Canadian law doesn't appear to recognise this in any way, so as a household we are basically being screwed both ways at once. We lose benefits because I'm expected to contribute to my partner's daughter's costs, this WOULD be taken into account calculating maintenance payments over here but since Joe is in Canada it doesn't matter a jot.
My partner and I are now expecting our own child in Spring of next year. Under UK law this would also be taken into account when calculating maintenance payments to my STBX, but it appears that Canadian law once again doesn't take this into account. So I have responsibility for one child here who is not mine, another one on the way but the amount I have to pay to my STBX still stays the same even though it would be slightly decreased in the country in which I actually live. Help!!
Needless to say, I have no hope of being able to afford legal representation. If the issue came to court it would be in Canada and even flying over to represent myself would be expensive enough.
So here are my questions:
- do I have any chance of getting the STBX to have to pay any part of the costs involved in me seeing Joe? He was born in the UK and she chose to leave with him, albeit with my consent. If the answer is No then the end result will be that I see less of him. Surely she should have SOME financial responsibility, as well as a moral one, in ensuring that her child has a relationship with his father?
- do her personal circumstances of choosing not to work full-time, and paying nothing in living costs, matter in the slightest?
- if I asked a Canadian court to take into account the two other children for whom I have responsibility, including the fact that UK Tax Credits are cut by a huge amount because I live with a new partner, would they be likely to take this into account when calculating maintenance and/or division of travel costs?
Any other advice anyone can give me on who to talk to or how best to proceed would be enormously appreciated. Thank you in advance.
First time posting here. Really glad to have found this forum, lots of useful advice and good to know others are in similar positions. Here's my story.
I'm from the UK and have lived here all my life. I married a Canadian six years ago and she moves from Ottawa to UK at that time. We have a son, Joe, who is now 3y 8m old and was born in the UK. When the wife and I separated last summer she felt she could not cope alone in the UK and wanted to move straight back to Ottawa to live with her mother. I did not fight their decision to move away because I knew that my ex-wife would not be able to cope on her own, having made almost no friends in the UK in the five years of living there and not being willing to work full-time. I felt it was in Joe's best interests not to be in full-time child care in the UK and/or for his mother to be forced to stay in a country she didn't want to be in, and that if she decided to take the issue to court she would probably be allowed to move to Canada with him anyway eventually. Thus I agreed not to fight for custody on the condition that I was allowed to have regular phone/webcam talks with Joe and that the ex-wife would cooperate with this, which she has done with full cooperation.
We signed a Separation Agreement before they left the UK which split our (very limited) finances and agreed that I would pay the standard UK rate of 15% net income in child maintenance, which I have done. The complication lies with travel costs of visitation, since these are of course extremely high. In a desire to keep things as amicable as possible I naively agreed, through our Separation Agreement, to terms which are now turning out to be financially crippling. The Agreement only lasts until we go through with the divorce, which we can do under Canadian law from next month onwards. So it's time to renegotiate, if possible, but everything I read online suggests that I'm going to be even WORSE off than I am already. I currently pay:
1) All my costs if I go to Canada to see Joe
2) Joe's flight costs if he comes over to see me
3) All my ex-wife's flight costs if she brings him over, which she did this summer for three weeks (he is with me now, returning next weekend).
Obviously these costs are basically DOUBLING the amount I am paying for Joe, since 2 or 3 return trans-Atlantic flights per year is a helluva lot in addition to 15% of wages.
I earn $25,000 CDN per year working full-time. My STBX has never worked full-time in her life and refuses to do so, even though she is living with her mother who would be a willing free, full-time childminder for Joe. My STBX has told me she pays absolutely zero to her mother for rent, food or any other bills for either her or Joe. She has told me she is saving almost 100% of her wages plus the money I give her so that she can buy a house WITHOUT a mortgage (i.e. outright) as soon as possible. She predicts that she will be able to do this in 4-5 years time. I do not own house and have absolutely no hope of ever doing so.
Canadian law appears to state that I have no chance of getting my STBX to contribute to my extortionate visitation costs, because I earn more that she does and therefore cannot claim 'hardship' or 'poverty', despite the fact that I will need to save 30% of my net income every year in order to have Joe visit me in the UK just once per year. Is there ANYTHING I can do about this?
There is more...
Since STBX and I separated over a year ago, I have now moved in with a new partner who has a daughter from a previous relationship. Under UK law, our joint claim for Tax Credits decreases by a staggering sum of $500 CDN per month, down to almost nil, because I am legally expected to make a contribution to the costs of raising my partner's daughter even though she is not actually mine. In the UK this would mean that the amount of maintenance I pay to STBX would be marginally decreased, however Canadian law doesn't appear to recognise this in any way, so as a household we are basically being screwed both ways at once. We lose benefits because I'm expected to contribute to my partner's daughter's costs, this WOULD be taken into account calculating maintenance payments over here but since Joe is in Canada it doesn't matter a jot.
My partner and I are now expecting our own child in Spring of next year. Under UK law this would also be taken into account when calculating maintenance payments to my STBX, but it appears that Canadian law once again doesn't take this into account. So I have responsibility for one child here who is not mine, another one on the way but the amount I have to pay to my STBX still stays the same even though it would be slightly decreased in the country in which I actually live. Help!!
Needless to say, I have no hope of being able to afford legal representation. If the issue came to court it would be in Canada and even flying over to represent myself would be expensive enough.
So here are my questions:
- do I have any chance of getting the STBX to have to pay any part of the costs involved in me seeing Joe? He was born in the UK and she chose to leave with him, albeit with my consent. If the answer is No then the end result will be that I see less of him. Surely she should have SOME financial responsibility, as well as a moral one, in ensuring that her child has a relationship with his father?
- do her personal circumstances of choosing not to work full-time, and paying nothing in living costs, matter in the slightest?
- if I asked a Canadian court to take into account the two other children for whom I have responsibility, including the fact that UK Tax Credits are cut by a huge amount because I live with a new partner, would they be likely to take this into account when calculating maintenance and/or division of travel costs?
Any other advice anyone can give me on who to talk to or how best to proceed would be enormously appreciated. Thank you in advance.
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