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Section 30 Custody Assessments

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  • Section 30 Custody Assessments

    Just looking for any insight from anyone who is had a section 30 private custody assessment done. What exactly do they do?...also wondering what did it end up costing?....Was it worth it?... and did you get the results that were best for the kids? My ex is pushing this ever since he has been forced to pay child support recently after being separated for over two years. For the previous 2 years before child support was ordered he rarely saw our child, and I was the one often asking him to take the child. (I have documentation/texts to prove this) The child also does not want to be with him half the time, who is 12 yrs old. The child says they are afraid of him, and resists going at times, and ex has quit calling as child would not answer the phone. My ex claims the child should have no choice. He has anger issues, documented through a therapist in a email I have and even admits this. Our child has witnessed some of these incidents, and is in therapy. There is so much more, and I would be completely supportive of the child being with him 50% as requested if was in the child's best interest. Is there another way to determine custody and reveal all the issues without doing all this. Any suggestions?

  • #2
    I felt if I choose voice of children would be better for the kids

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    • #3
      Your ex might change how he treats your son before and after the assessment

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      • #4
        Good luck for you and your kid

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        • #5
          Ok thanks for that. What does voice of the child include? Do they talk directly to the child, or a therapist they have been seeing to speak for them?

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          • #6
            A section 30 assessment is extremely expensive and rarely useful. If you are ordered into it then you may not have a choice, but it would be foolish to volunteer for one.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Janus View Post
              A section 30 assessment is extremely expensive and rarely useful. If you are ordered into it then you may not have a choice, but it would be foolish to volunteer for one.
              ^this.

              what are you ACTUALLY trying to do?

              what parenting schedule does your ex want?

              Why is child afraid?

              A lot of people have anger issues. My ex has anger issues and was also abusive- documented and proven, etc etc....that being said- he still has parenting time with our daughter. My point is that just because he has anger issues doesn't mean he doesn't get time with his daughter.

              Are you trying to eliminate access? <-- I say that with no judgment- but you need to really justify why it's necessary.

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              • #8
                Have you suggested therapy for the two of them? It might help repair the relationship and also outline to dad what the issues are that kid is experiencing.

                Don’t propose it in a way of you are a bad father and need therapy but more of a would you consider going to see someone with kid to work through her feelings and better understand each other to repair the relationship.

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                • #9
                  I was reluctantly forced into one that began late September last year. He wanted it and unfortunately, after my doing what I could to stop it, it was court ordered. He offered to pay for the whole thing; I got to choose the assessor. Retainer was 11K and I have no clue what the final bill was.

                  We have twins who are now 10; I was awarded sole custody at birth. A further court order granted a review of that status when they turned 5. He contacted me shortly after their 5th birthday and we agreed to change custody to joint and that we would stay out of court. I typed up a draft agreement using a friend's agreement for a template. Even put in large bold font at the top something to the effect of this is a draft only for negotiation. Sent it to him; heard nothing for almost a year. Then he suddenly wanted a four-way but his side provided nothing as to why. Nutshell -- we actually came up with a parenting agreement. Yay! But not really because he immediately ignored the entire thing.

                  Going on that above, I have offered joint custody 4 times! Each offer has been ignored. Fast forward to this time last year, he wants a private parenting assessment. Why? He doesn't want joint; he wants to remove them from me permanently.

                  The assessment ran from September to the end of February. I had 11 sessions with the assessor, 2 with the boys. He had 15 sessions, 2 with the boys. His wife had 3 sessions but am not sure on that one. Conclusion? Joint custody with parallel parenting.

                  Throughout the assessment, we were both told to do certain things to smarten up to improve our children's lives, including parenting classes. I have done everything recommend and have the proof. He has done nothing. The assessor stressed our boys need counseling. The man who tried to make me out to be a monster who was abusing our kids in every way possible, refuses to give his consent to this day.

                  He sent an offer to settle that comprised of me doing what the assessor recommended only; zilch regarding his responsibilities. I sent yet another offer back, implementing all recommendations for both of us, the joint custody and parallel parenting. This was sent at the beginning of May with no response.

                  The report concluded that we both had our own issues to address but he was slammed, exposed for what he was using the assessment for. His behaviour towards me, his lack of seeing me as their mother, his extreme anger towards the boys, all of it is out.

                  And yet, nothing has been settled. Four offers to settle since 2015, handing him the very thing he wants, each rejected and/or ignored. It sucks. Now, our 11 yr court file has mysteriously disappeared. I, and our boys, just need this settled!

                  So, short answer -- waste of time and money unless you both are in it for the children.

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                  • #10
                    I don’t know exactly what are the steps of voice of children, but my lawyer told me I don’t want to ask for assessment because your ex is manipulative, I got second opinion and the second lawyer told me if I am sure of what my will say go for it, it’s faster, less expensive.
                    I don’t know why my lawyer put the assessment as an option.
                    I don’t like the result although I got solo custody but he increased the father parenting time although the kids were clear that they are happy with what we have now, every other weekend, half of all the school breaks, 2 w in the summer plus every other weekend. He gave him half of the summer
                    He ignored all the kids wishes. Their father used to leave them during his time and go out with his friends, so I don’t know why he increased his time
                    The assessor mentioned untrue incidents to make me look as unfixable parent
                    Your son is as my son’s age so I can feel how hard it is for him. Ask a good lawyer and see what u can do.

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                    • #11
                      Cranberry
                      May I ask why the court accepted his request to change the custody?
                      Like is there a chance my ex would come after 2 or 3 years ask for another assessment?

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                      • #12
                        When you say "voice of the child"- you mean the Office of the Children's Lawyer?

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                        • #13
                          I personally believe he was granted the assessment because that's just what judges do so that they don't have to sift through copious amounts of paper to find something close to the truth. I was completely perplexed that it was ordered. His lawyer's exact words were "Your Honour, there is no abuse, there us no neglect, we know the OCL will not take this case, so we respectfully ask that you grant a private assessment, which the applicant will fully pay for." Umm, ok, so you admit and agree that there is no abuse; why do you want a private one done??? I think also, he was granted the assessment because he offered to pay for it. I was adamant that we didn't need this to happen but when a judge looks at you and says " Miss X, you can refuse to agree. If you continue to do so I will grant the applicant the right to bring a motion for the assessment and you will lose", You really have no choice but to capitulate. Thankfully, in the long run, it turned out well because his malicious behaviour towards me and extreme anger towards our children is now out there in an official document. We all, stepmom oncluded, had a strip torn off us; I had my own issues to fix as well. But, the report states that she (the assessor) believed I would address and tackle them head on; she had no confidence that he would do the same.

                          As for the change in custody, I am not even fighting that! As I mentioned in my first post, I have handed it to him 4 times in the past 5 years. Why he won't negotiate a settlement is beyond me, other than he simply wants his day in court with a judge removing them from my care permanently. It baffles me to no end! How many dad's (cuz its usually dads) are out there fighting tooth and nail, going bankrupt to see their children? I was given sole custody for the furst 5 years, agreed to the change when his initial request came in, we managed to come to an agreement only for him not to like it the day after it was signed, and here we are. Idiot has no idea what he keeps passing up in his venture to have me vilified in court.

                          Now if our damn file could only be found!

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                          • #14
                            I went through similar situation with OCL at our first case conference... dads lawyer came out of left field and said to the judge. “ my client fears he will never see his children again because he keeps getting denied access”. Omg I almost passed out. ;-(... my kids have always gone on their access. I am not someone who lies so when I heard that I felt like I got smacked by a freight train. Then not really knowing I could say no.... my lawyer says to me.. “just agree, it will prove the other side is lying”. So stupidly I agreed and put my kids through that. And yes... dad got slammed by OCL.. sole was still recommended to stay with me after 6 years of me having it already. And dad really screwed with OCL. First one that was appointed he delayed and then cited a conflict of interest... which there was none. He hadn’t even met with the person yet after 6 weeks of them chasing him. Then took another 7-8 weeks to get reassigned. And he somehow managed to delay that person as well. Then of course filed a dispute with the recommendations. That didn’t change a thing. And here we are still in court because dad thought he would get sole custody with no material change after 6 years just because someone told him he had a chance. Our kids are innocent and have been put through hell having to speak to two different strangers trying to answer all their questions. ... and boy did it backfire as they told the person how awful dad is to them...... yet we are still in court... and I have to give dad more time ... and dad has done none of the recommendations. I wasn’t given any because OCL already knows what I have had to do for my kids. Advocate for dad to be involved to know avail.
                            So I agree these assessments aren’t worth much.. just use whatever evidence and fact you can to prove your case... unless of course there is abuse or neglect Going on.


                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                            • #15
                              I am new in this forum, I don't know how to post a question, so I will do it here if you don't mind.
                              I want to reject the assessor recommendations, what will be the next step?
                              The assessor gave me sole custody for 15, 11 and 10 yrs children and therapy for the dad and youngest kid as they have bad relationships
                              Why I want to refuse it, the assessor increased their father access time, although the kids said they are happy of what they have now which every other weekends
                              Half of the breaks
                              2werks in summer and every other weekend
                              The assessor changed some facts, she ignored all my concerns about my kids safety at their dad’s so what do u think?
                              If I reject it. Do I have to go with the same assessor or I can change it?
                              Do I have to repeat the assessment?
                              Thanks in advance

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