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  • Telling him to have phone contact with parents

    Yesterday the ex phoned him, leaving a message, stating that she was just calling to see what was happening for the weekend (for the last few months, she has refused to bring the kids to his residence for his friday 6pm access--wrote about that in previous thread)

    She went on in the message to say that as of today, she would have no home phone line and for him to call her parents house and hopefully they could figure something out for his weekend access. (guessing her lawyer advised her to give him his access) **but there is something fishy going on with her saying she will have no home phone line---she has always had a cell as well----so why does she want him calling her parents???**

    Problem is he can't trust her parents and is in fear to have contact like that with them. In the past they accused him of threatening their daughter(his ex's) life/filed false police reports against him--he had to go to court for it and charges ended up being dropped.

    Her father also blackmailed him in to signing their separation agreement--told him that if he wanted out of the marriage/wanted out of the $1300 house mortgage payment, he would have to sign the house over to him and sign the separation agreement, giving custody to his daughter.

    So the father ended up getting the house/mortgage in his name for $800 a month--daughter/ex continues to live there--paying the $800 to the father/or to the mortgage----yet she isn't claiming this rent wise or mortgage wise on her taxes.

    From what her parents have done to him in the past--should he dare call there to arrange access with the kids?

  • #2
    Stay out of it. Take up a hobby or something. Let the two people who were once married figure it out.

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    • #3
      Nothing wrong with trying to help a friend seek answers. He had no one to help him back then when all this started. If her family can blackmail him and be so involved, he can definitely have a friend to discuss the bullsh!t with.

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      • #4
        DO NOT phone over to the ex 's parents house.....EVER. Once bitten twice shy!!!

        Simple, very simple solution, use email!!!

        She likely has the internet hooked up to her house. Inform her that you wish to speak with the children via SKYPE. It's free!

        Also, inform her that for outgoing calls she can use google phone...a free internet based phone and all calls in North America are free.

        I also caution that if her parents have called the police for for false death threats against your friend, she is likely capable of the same. Your friend cannot keep placing himself in this danger.

        Good luck

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        • #5
          Still think it's not your concern. There are too many "do gooders/new girlfriends" out there who butt their noses in where they don't belong and it just makes matters worse. Last time I checked this site was for people going through the many facets of divorce - not for the new girlfriend/boyfriend. Your opinions are based on what you've been told by your boyfriend. You should be commended for your friendship and support but I still think you should stay out of everything. Maybe you should start your own site for people in your situation.

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          • #6
            Clearly you have issues because of your own past experiences. Don't need to take that out on every female trying to help a male--where did I state that he was my boyfriend????

            I am also going through my own custody/divorce issues--which is why I first joined this site and have questioned things regarding my own case.

            Nothing wrong with trying to find out as much information/opinions/experience from other people on here regarding all cases!

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            • #7
              Femme, continue helping your friend and posting anything you wish!

              This forum is about people helping people navigate the totally insane waters of family court in this country. Often the advice received here is more effective than all lawyers combined!

              People trying to deal with a whacked ex need all the friends and help they can muster.

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              • #8
                That's how I feel staysingle....the more information, advice you can receive, the better!

                Like I said, I first came here when I didn't know what to do in my own situation.

                I am happy to say that we have came to a settlement--just waiting on the agreement to be written up to be signed---any idea of how long that takes? our actual meeting for this was at the beginning of October--we are approaching the end of October--I am starting to get a little worried/wondering if they are up to something else.

                My ex is fortunate that I am not a b!tch like the woman I have been talking about in here. (and I'm fortunate that he chose to go about things in a different manner then he originally set out to do)
                It hasn't been easy, we have both had our bad moments with eachother--but here we are a year and a half later and we are supposed to have a settlement that is in the best interest of our child. We didn't end up having to go to court/ did it with our lawyers.

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                • #9
                  meow ! No need to take things so personal now. By your own admission "no one was there..." when your friend needed help so I have assumed you were not in the picture at that time. The information you wrote about is incredible to say the least. Frankly I find it hard to believe.

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                  • #10
                    Remember that you may not always get a reply that you agree with. I offered advice and you can take it or leave it. Makes not a bit of difference to me and my life.

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                    • #11
                      No, I didn't know him back then when this all happened to him with his ex. That doesn't mean that we are in a relationship today, because we met and became friends. (Can never have enough friends, but I am not looking for a relationship) I was just starting to deal with my situation when we met--and because he had already been through something similar--he showed me his separation agreement (I had no clue what one even was back then) I have learned a lot through his case of what to do/what not to do.
                      He helped me with information/advice through mine....thought his was over....but now his ex is starting up again....so if I can help him, I will.

                      You were the one who personally attacked me, based on your assumptions/previous experience with your cheating ex--clearly you are biased against any female on here who is in a relationship with a man in these situations and just assumed that I was another one of those females/in a relationship with this guy!

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                      • #12
                        I can agree to disagree....not one of those people who only wants to hear what I want to hear. Open to all opinions, advice, information.

                        You just shouldn't assume and pass judgement so fast.

                        I respect your opinion to stay out of something between 2 people(It's not like I'm having any contact/interaction with her!)---but sometimes people do need a friend/need someone for simple support, especially through nonsense like this---I'm sure you had family members/friends supporting you when you were going through it!

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                        • #13
                          Your assumptions are quite astonishing and I take exception to you saying that I take vengence on every female trying to help out a male. What a ridiculous statement.

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                          • #14
                            For the record I DO have a problem with people (MALE OR FEMALE) interfering with other people (MALE OR FEMALE) while they are pre or post divorce. Getting/giving advice or support is one thing but you have to draw the line somewhere. Problem with others interfering is that they only know one side of the issues and blindly believe everything their girlfriend/boyfriend tells them. This is simply human nature and I realize that no one is perfect. People just have to stop, pause, question and in many cases BACK OFF AND LET THE TWO DIVORCING PEOPLE DEAL WITH THINGS THEMSELVES.

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                            • #15
                              And more people should heed Arabian's advice.

                              Comment

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