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A poll on divorced people and birth order

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  • A poll on divorced people and birth order

    I read a book about 20 years ago about birth order and how it effects us, and I'm curious to poll you all to see if its accurate.

    Essentially it said that first borns are best suited to marry last borns or the middle child. It went on to say that the first born/first born marriages don't usually work out.

    Interestingly it also said that if there is more than 5 years between a middle child and a last born, the last born takes on the characteristics of a first born.

    I was in a first born/first born marriage, it didn't work out, I wonder how many people on this board feel into that category.

    Anyway, I am trying to figure out how to poll, but can't. Anyone know?

    Poll should be if you are divorced, what birth order category did you fall into with your spouse:

    firstborn/firstborn
    middleborn/firstborn
    lastborn/firstborn
    lastborn w/5+yrs between middlechild/firstborn

  • #2
    You could poll it as a sequence of combinations. similar to how you wrote them out on top. Does being an only child have any influence? What about families of more than 3? What about adopted children, with or without siblings who are natural children of the parents? There are a few variables that aren't mentioned above, but I assume they may have taken certain groupings together.

    If you assume only children are the same as 1st born, and any child between the first and the last is a middle child, and that there is no significance in the length of time between 1st and middle or middle and middle, you can have 10 different choices.

    a) 1st/1st
    b) 1st/middle
    c) 1st/last
    d) 1st/last (5+)
    e) middle/middle
    f) middle/last
    g) middle/last (5+)
    h) last/last
    i) last/last (5+)
    j) last (5+)/last (5+)


    I fall into section b).

    Unfortunately because of demographics and typical family size a straight poll may not be the best solution to see a significant result.

    Comment


    • #3
      I'm a middle child and both of my marriages were to men who were "an only child". You'd think I'd learn. My first marriage only lasted six months basically so I don't even count it. Second marriage 35 years. I think I was smarter the first time around...hahahahahaha!!!!

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      • #4
        I'm the eldest/first born...and my ex was the middle child (but I'd consider him an only child, as he was the only male son in his family and he was pampered and treated like a King...alas...I was not his Queen)

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        • #5
          "C" here.

          The birth order and sex for me and my siblings were the exact opposite of hers.

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          • #6
            I'm middle (3 of 4) and ex was middle (3rd of 7)

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            • #7
              I'm a middle child so for me it's been:

              Middle/firstborn
              Middle/lastborn with firstborn traits
              Middle/firstborn

              Interesting.

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              • #8
                My ex was firstborn. I am lastborn, but my brother and 2 sisters were over 10 years older, so under your example I have "firstborn characteristics."

                I actually agree that in many ways I am similar to firstborn, or more like an only child. My siblings had all left home by the time I was 7 and most of my upbringing was as a lone child. That said, my parents were more experienced, more blase about having a child, and generally less excited by my little accomplishments. I strongly suspect I was an accident.

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                • #9
                  Blink-Did you ever think about birth order before with regards to your partners ?

                  Mess-No such thing as an accident ! You were a gift from god !

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                  • #10
                    I'm middle born and my ex is first born (I'm older than my ex by about 2 years)
                    My older brother is firstborn and his wife is firstborn (they've been married 33 years)
                    My younger brother is last born (though more than 5 years between he & I) and his wife is firstborn (they've been married close to 25 years)

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                    • #11
                      I'm an oddball.... raised as the first born of 5, but technically I am the 2nd of 6 ((didn't meet my older bro until I was 16!!)) stbx is an only child from a very small family... they are rather quiet, reserved people..... where as my family is large, loud and boisterous!! I used to tease that coming from such a close knit family, I should have had my head examined for marrying an only child!! LOL!!

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                      • #12
                        Don't feel bad 78 I married 2 "only child". I have a sister 5 years older than me and a brother 10 years younger than me...so basically all three of us were only children...now that's crazy...

                        Happy Easter everyone :-)

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by May_May View Post
                          Blink-Did you ever think about birth order before with regards to your partners ?

                          Mess-No such thing as an accident ! You were a gift from god !
                          I actually never did consider it as far as my relationships went but did do a bunch of reading years and years ago about birth order and how it plays a role in who we become throughout our lives. I don't believe I ever went so far as to consider partnerships, though!

                          I hadn't though about it or realized it until I was answering the question and realized my three major relationships, (marriage and then two long term partnerships) were all of the same birth order. weird!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by May_May View Post
                            Blink-Did you ever think about birth order before with regards to your partners ?

                            Mess-No such thing as an accident ! You were a gift from god !
                            Naw, I am a mote in gods's eye.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Interesting comments from all, I was overwhelming expecting most divorcees to be from a firstborn/firstborn marriage.

                              Here is the book I was talking about, very interesting read: Growing up firstborn: the pressure and privilege of being number one - Kevin Leman - Google Books

                              Comment

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