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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Political Issues

Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #11  
Old 05-19-2021, 01:43 PM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ifonlyihadknown View Post
I'd like to see the corresponding page with pictures of people who refuse or limit access of the children to the other parent.
none of this ^ justifies withholding child support. What exactly is the purpose of your comment?

What you describe is contempt of a court order, if there is one. And the consequences can be a lot more than public shaming. Now if there was a government funded agency that enforced parenting time- like FRO enforces CS- I think that would actually be pretty useful- and I'd be happy to have my tax dollars go towards something like that.
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  #12  
Old 05-21-2021, 11:06 AM
ifonlyihadknown ifonlyihadknown is offline
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Not paying child support is wrong and we punish and publicly shame people for it.

Withholding access to children is also wrong yet we ignore it and say, "whatever". (Except for the parent being denied access.)

If we are going to enforce one aspect of separation agreements, we should uphold all aspects.
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  #13  
Old 05-22-2021, 02:16 PM
StillPaying StillPaying is offline
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Originally Posted by ifonlyihadknown View Post
Withholding access to children is also wrong yet we ignore it and say, "whatever". (Except for the parent being denied access.)
When someone's child is taken, they would run to police or court and fix it right away. When the other parent says "whatever" and allows the child to go, which parent should be shamed?
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  #14  
Old 05-22-2021, 06:09 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ifonlyihadknown View Post
Not paying child support is wrong and we punish and publicly shame people for it.

Withholding access to children is also wrong yet we ignore it and say, "whatever". (Except for the parent being denied access.)

If we are going to enforce one aspect of separation agreements, we should uphold all aspects.

If you see having their name on a most wanted list as punishment then you need to give your head a shake. They have avoided punishment by taking off. I should also note that for many of the recipients, social assistance is their only option to survive. As a taxpayer are you ok with the government paying these parents support while the payor fucks off?

As for the withholding children, there are different elements of this. Yes parents who file false accusations to withhold children, play games with the schedule and alienate their kids should be punished but there is a big difference between not seeing your kids for a period of time and not paying tens of thousands of dollars for their care. Changing that rule is something to put energy into. The problem is getting it to court and then going through the process to change it.

Those who think shaming is a bad thing need to separate themselves from the emotion of their case and the people on this list. These are criminals who have abandoned their kids and responsibilities and are leaving it to others to carry the financial burden. If my tax dollars are going to support kids who have had their parent bugger off then I say post the photos!
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  #15  
Old 05-25-2021, 09:58 AM
ifonlyihadknown ifonlyihadknown is offline
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Parents who withhold access to the other parent are basically kidnapping the children.

I fail to see any moral difference between a parent not paying child support and another refusing to allow access.

The only difference I see is that one is widely condemned - the "deadbeat dad." While the other is ignored, or at least not punished to any extent that I'm not aware of.

Do the courts ever issue any actual punishment for withholding access to children?

(Btw, I have no access issues with my particular case so don't have a horse in this race. Not that it should make a difference.)
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  #16  
Old 05-25-2021, 10:38 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ifonlyihadknown View Post
Parents who withhold access to the other parent are basically kidnapping the children.
If they are supposed to be with the other parent, per a court order. Then- yes , they're breaking the law. I still don't get your argument.

Quote:
I fail to see any moral difference between a parent not paying child support and another refusing to allow access.
The difference is that one is about the physical needs of the child. Which exist whether they see the other parent or not. The question was - is it fair to publicly shame parents who don't pay child support. Not whether not paying is fair if the parent doesn't see the kid as often as they would like. Not a valid issue.

Quote:
The only difference I see is that one is widely condemned - the "deadbeat dad." While the other is ignored, or at least not punished to any extent that I'm not aware of.

Do the courts ever issue any actual punishment for withholding access to children?
Uh, yes. I don't have time to go find it- but there are a cases that show that continuous contempt of an access order can result in a change of custody.

Quote:
(Btw, I have no access issues with my particular case so don't have a horse in this race. Not that it should make a difference.)
It sounds like you're venting, rather than making any logical argument here. If a parent withholds access- where access has been determined- then they're breaking the law. And can be punished. The same can be said about parents (not "deadbeat dads") who don't pay their child support.
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  #17  
Old 05-25-2021, 10:46 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Youre missing the point. In this instance with the most wanted pictures, these are extreme cases where the parent owes tens of thousands. I would guess many of them are at least $80,000 in the holes and have disappeared effectively choosing not to see their kids. There are also a lot of parents who choose not to see their kids and a few parents on this forum over the years asking how to make the other parent see their kids.

The two issues are separate. Should we shame fathers? Yes and no. We should shame the fathers who refuse to pay support to the tune of $50,000 or more. The fathers who have taken off and dont care. Should we shame fathers who are struggling but trying their best? No.

Should we punish parents who withhold access? Yes. Have those parents been primarily mothers bent on revenge? Yes. Right now there is no lock her up for that. You have to go through the court process to do so. The good news is there are changes happening. They are small and slow but it is changing. More fathers are being granted shared or full custody. More mothers are being reprimanded for withholding access. It may not be as fast as everyone would hope but it is happening.

This issue should not be clouded with the two. The original post was about shaming fathers on the FRO site. The fact is that the people on the site are fathers and they are behind in support at a very high amount. We should all be ashamed that we allow this in our societykids to go without basic needs because one of their parents is avoiding their responsibility.
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