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  • Need advice with division of assets and spousal support

    I need some advice regarding division of assets and spousal support. I am originally from Asia. In 2001, I and my older daughter from previous marriage moved with my husband to Canada because of his work. Our son was born soon after we moved. From there my marriage went downhill. He was emotionally abusive, angry, and had affairs with other women. I could not take my career seriously because he worked long hours and travelled about a week each month. I was studying, making some money in part time temporary jobs, and taking care of the children. He makes a three-digit salary in a very secure and stable corporate job. He used money to manipulate and abuse me and took 3-4 times more money for himself. He even took some money from the joint line of credit. There is more detail but I won't post it here.
    We separated last year after 12 years of marriage. He requested 50/50 custody of our younger son, which I agreed to. He told the older daughter, a full time student, to leave the house the day we decided to separate and she now lives with me. We have not yet finished our separation agreement. I got a job but I am making a lot less than I need to live and feed the children. He does not pay financial support and I’ve been using joint credit cards for living expenses and now he stopped paying the credit card. I have some of my own credit but our initial agreement was that he helps with living expenses.
    I need to understand how I can best protect my children and myself. I have a lawyer but not convinced he is trying his best. What strategies can I use to make the ex agree to the conditions that will allow me to have a good start in my new life? For example, my lawyer proposed 45-55 reapportionment of the house assets as a compensation for lost opportunities but the ex refused. Given that I essentially put my career on hold for a dozen years and I was mostly responsible for renovating and raising the house value, can I expect it? How do I negotiate spousal support? Is monthly or lump some preferred? I had to take on drafting the separation agreement – can I have the costs shared?

    Any practical advice would be much appreciated.

  • #2
    is he paying any child support to you?? That is what you should focus on immediatly.

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    • #3
      How do I negotiate spousal support?
      Is your lawyer a family law lawyer? You will want to speak to them about requesting interim spousal support and negotiating ongoing spousal support for you.

      I have a lawyer but not convinced he is trying his best.
      Speak to him. Either receive more satisfying work or hire a different lawyer.

      Comment


      • #4
        How many lawyers did you speak to before taking your current one? You should get a family lawyer that is in tune to your needs and sadly on your first post you have basically listed all the reasons why you do not want to continue with this one...... Granted it is one paragraph, I just couldn't see a lawyer not doing at least the very obvious, you made it this long because of the joint credit cards (something your ex did have a right to do - shut down all the joint stuff) At the very least you could look at how much you clicked on the cards each month as a point to begin your spousal support (SS)discusion, your child support (CS) could be a little easier if the midpoint of the child support guideline which takes the income and a few other numbers and based on all your ages, the chart will give a low, medium and high support amounts. You should ask yourself why after a year your lawyer has not really begun to get through your file, get the support started (there is the need to pass the test of entitlement to recieve SS but it appears your post has shown enough to make the case for it)

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        • #5
          Something to keep in mind is you will pay taxes on anything you receive in monthly spousal support. With spousal support you cannot pay into CPP (as it is not employment income) so getting a good job, in the end, is the best way to go.

          I concur with Orleans Lawyer that you have to get an interim order for spousal support. Make sure you prepare a very detailed budget of your actual living expenses for your lawyer. This will set the pace for negotiations.

          One thing I overlooked was life insurance.

          Good luck

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by OrleansLawyer View Post
            Is your lawyer a family law lawyer? You will want to speak to them about requesting interim spousal support and negotiating ongoing spousal support for you.


            Speak to him. Either receive more satisfying work or hire a different lawyer.
            ^^^ Excellent advice...

            Comment


            • #7
              It's a fairly simple process in BC, the child support and spousal could be done on your own. I realize it sounds like a scary thought, but the Courts are simply going to go by the Guidelines. I assume your case is in Supreme Court because it deals with assets as well. There are support calulators available online, which would give you an idea if you know his yearly income.

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              • #8
                Thank you to all who replied. I appreciate the advice and the information. I had another lawyer before who seemed very inefficient and I fired her. My current lawyer consults me and gives information and drafts the papers, although he takes a long time to deliver. But you have to understand, I am dealing with someone extremely greedy when it comes to money. All these years my ex was taking more money for himself, he used money as a tool to abuse and control me. He is doing the same now. He is playing games with credit cards and interim support to force me to sign the agreement on his terms.

                My lawer did request an interim support but they came back with a much lower number so I did not agree. What do I need to do to get the order of support?
                My lawyer requested that both I and my ex prepare a detailed budget (Form 8).

                We have a draft separation agreement in the works which has been shared with the other party. But we are not agreeing on the numbers. I am fighting to get higher numbers for spousal support and they are trying to keep them at a lower end. I need to understand how I can negotiate higher numbers of spousal support.

                I also want to know if and how I can get reapportionment of the house assets. We have a fairly substenital equity in the house, which has been sold and the money is kept in trust until the agreement is signed. Two lawers told me that reapportionment is an option in my case but again, I don't understand how it works and what I can do to get it.

                Finally, if anyone has suggestions for an agressive lawyer in lower mainland BC (metro Vancouver), I would appreciate it.

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                • #9
                  And one more thing. I do understand that you cannot provide me with specific advice on my situation and I do have a lawyer who works for me. I am out there on the internet because I am looking for other, additional IDEAS about how I can deal with the situation. I am looking for something that I and my lawyer might have overlooked. Perhaps thinking outside the box. Perhaps I can find someone with a more creative approach than the one we have been taking. You might have other ideas that I can throw back at my lawyer and say hey, have you thought about this. Thanks a lot.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I would advise against trying to find an 'aggressive' lawyer. You need someone who is efficient and up-to-date on case law.

                    A budget prepared by both you and your husband is appropriate. Be prepared to support this budget with receipts to prove your expenses. A budget should have been prepared for the first attempt for an interim order. You are not paying for these sorts of important oversights from your lawyer. Question him/her about this. It is a very elementary step in getting interim SS.

                    Make sure you take particular care to ensure health and life insurance payments are current throughout the process.

                    Have your lawyer make a court date. I would be very hesitant to negotiate on 'interim' SS as future, permanent SS is often calculated on a step-down basis from the interim SS. Read some case law on this and if need be, bring it to your lawyer's attention. This way your lawyer knows you aren't stupid and want to be actively involved in your case.

                    Be sure to request regular detailed billing from your lawyer. That might keep him/her on their toes a bit as well.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I'm glad to see you found a lawyer that is more in tune with your case.

                      What happened to the contents of the house you sold? Were they divided up evenly? All of the common property should be divided up as fairly as you can. if the contents were sold who got the money?

                      Comment

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