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  • Supervised Access

    In March my ex and I had a bit of a run in while I was picking up my son. He was about to turn 2 and we were to begin extending my access, including overnight visits. She came out of the house that day already aggravated, started railing on me about what a terrible person I was and a lousy father, that she would forgo her child support if I gave up my access - blah, blah. All I did was start to cry (I know!). I didn't yell back or engage her at all. She went back in the house. I was so shaken I sat their crying and pounding the steering wheel in frustration. I was so shaken I couldn't even drive off - although I should have. Well, long story short she called and said I couldn't see my son anymore. A week later I got a letter from her lawyer saying she had concerns about my mental state and the possibility I might be on drugs. She said I was hostile and I would only be allowed supervised visitation with my parents. There was also reference to the CAS - so I assumed she contacted them.
    I have tried to resolve this with her to no avail. I have asked her to go to a mediator - she says it won't make a difference. She says it has to be done through our lawyers - which means going to court. I don't have much money and I'm afraid even if my unsupervised access is restored by the courts she will just continue to put that restriction on me again - sending me back to court.

    That is the background - well some of it. My questions are:

    Does supervised access need to be court ordered? Can she legally just decide that on her own? He said, she said? No one contacted me to get my side of the story.

    If the court determines supervision is not necessary can she insist on supervision again down the road?

    I do get to see my son with my parents so that's better than nothing. Obviously the extended access is not happening. Any other feedback or suggestions would be appreciated.

  • #2
    First, if you have a low income, you may qualify for legal aid.

    But, no, without a court order, she doesn't get to dictate whether or not access is to be supervised. Further, unless she is a psychologist/Psychiatrist, she is incapable of making mental diagnosis. So any determination she has of your mental state is inadmissable.

    If I were you, I wouldn't wait for them to make a move, I would make one myself. I would file a motion for requesting prescribed/schedule/unsupervised parenting time. Request overnight parenting time, every other long weekend, vacation time in the summer, 1/2 of christmas break, every other March Break etc.

    If you let them dictate to you what you can do, then yah, you've got to do what they say. But if you are pro-active about protecting your interest in your parenting time, they will have less say.

    Oh, and don't get legal advice for your ex or her lawyer. Chances are, it won't be very helpful to you and will be a touch (read - sarcasm) biased towards your ex.

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    • #3
      I would follow HammerDad's advice verbatim. Try and get into counseling and get talking to someone about what is happening within you. The situation is ramping for a sole custody challenge. If you qualify for legal aid, get that going. Find a divorced dad support group in your area and find support. The worst thing you can do right now is cope in harmful ways. You are under enormous stress and need to cope effectually. Stay away from drugs and alcohol ( not accusing..just sayin). You will likely be subjected to drug/alcohol tests soon. If you fail your done! Take care of yourself

      Good luck

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