Case Conference coming, not getting good news

[riverbag]

Hi All,

I have a case conference in October and every where I turn, I keep getting told that I'd be lucky if I get joint custody, yet there has been no claim of abuse, communication has been plentiful and Amicable since the split, I live 3 blocks from my wife..... please PM me if you have any ideas as I don't want too much info in here as I don't know who is reading these, and her NEW lawyer is a "Pitbull"...this description from another Lawyer!!

[billiechic]

What is your schedule for seeing the child(ren) now? Whatever is in place now is likely to be what is awarded.

[riverbag]

Thanks for the reply billiechic, but I cannot accept that willingly, I am going to have to have it ordered by a judge. I am a quality Father and believe it to be in the Children's best interests to have both Parents involved equally.

[billm]

What is your schedule for seeing the child(ren) now? Whatever is in place now is likely to be what is awarded.

This is a stupid method - who cares what the most recent short term custody has been, what about during the marriage where it was 50/50 (both parents with the kids every day), or for the many years of child rearing to be yet?

Disrupt the kids short term 'status quo' if not euqal shared custody when both parents are capable and want equal shared custody makes much more sense.

[riverbag]

Shared access is all I want

Thanks BillM, that is my belief and Edward Kruk as well a noted Social Worker who has a wonder 101 page document on the benefits of Shared Access and the implications of it within Separated families. I want to point this article to the Judge, but fear I may offend them. Any suggestions on how I could do such a thing without them taking offense??

Thanks Bill

[riverbag]

Found an executive summary of Edward Kruk's article

I found an executive summary of the article and will be referring to it in my case conference and then asking the judge if she would like a copy.

[dinkyface]

Hi riverbag, quoting articles is a game that can be played by both sides - you can always find articles to back you up, whether you are claiming for more time, or resisting a claim for more time. Just thought I'd warn you before you go rushing in waving it like 'gospel'. Sorry - I'm not sure what to suggest - in the end it comes down to whom the judge feels has the best argument for what is in best interests of the child. And who the heck knows what goes in in a judge's brain!?!?! Certainly does not always seem logical.

[today]

Hi riverbag, quoting articles is a game that can be played by both sides - you can always find articles to back you up

It is true there are articles written that go either way by professionals, you may want to be careful with that. They can come back with the same argument against shared parenting, depends on where you look.

A better method is focusing on the reasons as you mentioned ie: living close by, a good father, wishing to be involved etc. There is no reason to not accept 50/50 it is your right. Don't let scare tactics take you off your objective, Those who seek it usually get it.

[HatesCheaters]

Now is the time to document everything in precise detail. Every phonecall, every time you spend with them, how long, whether or not you were denied access, requests for more access, .... everything. Don't think for a minute that your mind will be crystal clear in October when you're in the middle of a stressful event like a case conference. Document everything.

[Deputy Daddy]

From reading your short paragraph shared custody is the only thing that makes sense and I can't see why she would even try to argue for sole custody. For that matter so could you but I doubt you'd have a chance of getting it. What's her reasoning? Is it just because she's the mother? I don't think that flies anymore...

DD

[standing on the sidelines]

Thanks BillM, that is my belief and Edward Kruk as well a noted Social Worker who has a wonder 101 page document on the benefits of Shared Access and the implications of it within Separated families. I want to point this article to the Judge, but fear I may offend them. Any suggestions on how I could do such a thing without them taking offense??

Thanks Bill

I would tread very carefully with that one. You do not want to come off as pushy or a know it all. Maybe ask the judge if they have ever had the oppoutunity to read the article by whoever the author is and how you feel that certain aspects of the article relate to your case.