Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Humorous things that happened during your divorce

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    I also found your post hilarious Nadia. He obviously has a "Napoleon Complex" or "Little Man Syndrome". Having a visual of him standing on tip toes.

    I say all this because I'm only 5' tall, my X is 6'1". So I can relate to being short but not offended by it in the least.

    Comment


    • #17
      My X's claim to fame was "I have MS and I can't do anything." Unfortunately for him he kept a "Bitch Book" and wrote everything down in it about every disagreement or argument we ever had...and I found it. On one page he said "while he was shovelling the driveway after a big snow storm he found a WII connection for one of the games". This is from the same man who told the judge he was not able to do anything because he has MS and is totally disabled.

      My lawyer photocopied it and brought it forward during our Separation Agreement.

      L.

      Comment


      • #18
        Yes. #2 and #10 are hilarious. Omg Lorac, the "bitch book" - my ex's claim to fame is that he's now on medication and is "a changed man." THERE IS NO Medication on this planet that can help him!

        Comment


        • #19
          when my ex called the police on me beacuse I wouldn't leave our matrimonial home and they told her flat out that I had every right to live there just as she did and that it was not her child but ours. The look on her face when being told by the police she was wrong was priceless.

          oh, and it was the day before my birthday too! lol.

          Comment


          • #20
            Lawyer attire:

            My ex's lawyer (a large man) shuffled up to the desk in front of the judge and flopped himself down. Everyone in the court could see that both arms in his sport jacked were almost totally ripped out.

            Another lawyer my ex had was a female who wore a bright scarlet form-fitting dress. She had a full figure and sported a major panty line/top of the pantyhose fat rolling down line. She thought she looked hot - NOT !

            Comment


            • #21
              Originally posted by Lorac View Post
              This is from the same man who told the judge he was not able to do anything because he has MS and is totally disabled.
              What a horrible representative of people with MS!We certainly can shovel the driveway, and a LOT more!!

              Comment


              • #22
                When my ex accused my father of abusing our daughter, even though he was dead. Not sure how Ashes could abuse a child but you never know lol.

                Judge telling my ex to stop making faces to her current boyfriend everytime I spoke.
                Judge telling my ex's boyfriend that he is not our daughters father, and should stop telling our daughter that he is.
                We do have a few good judges, unfortunatly I only meet them at conferences and not at motions lol.

                Comment


                • #23
                  Some of these are awesome. Especially #14, I didn't think that was even possible. Is that true for procedural errors too? My STBX's lawyer has made a few already.

                  Tayken could you send me a PM please?

                  I've tried a few times this week but have gotten the "Tayken has exceeded their stored private messages quota and cannot accept further messages until they clear some space." message each time.

                  Thanks

                  SD

                  Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                  Funny things I have witnessed in court:

                  1. Parents passing out when they are getting the truth told to them by a judge on how the "best interests" tests work.

                  2. Parents calling the other parent a "satanist".

                  3. Allegations that the parent abducted children because they didn't know what else to do and had anxieties that the other parent had "guns and bombs" in the house.

                  4. Allegations that the children were abused but, could not sight dates, times, police involvement, cas involvement or anything.

                  6. Over anxious parents having lawyers hurl all kinds of wild allegations on oral arguments. Honestly, one would think that affidavit material has the worst of the worst but, the oral arguments some negative advocate solicitors present are even better.

                  7. Negative advocate solicitors who are so unprepared for a motion that their own argument over the 10-20 minutes it takes for them to say anything relevant contradict their own points. Watching the judge point out the inaccuracy in the other lawyer's own oral argument.

                  8. Watching a judge label a lawyer and their client as "paranoid" and then re-writing a final order and fixing all the grammatical mistakes and other inaccuracies.

                  9. Watching a judge lambaste grandparents who think they have a say in custody and access disputes.

                  10. Watching a judge tell a litigant, while their counsel is standing there, to hire a new lawyer.

                  11. Watching a judge roll their eyes at someone's "dream job" and telling them that the court expects them to work at a real job that makes money and can support their children.

                  12. Watching a laywer try to argue why the filed a motion in the wrong jurisdiction.

                  13. Watching a lawyer try to accuse another lawyer for miss conduct on the file and then having the communication in question provided to the judge and the judge siding with the other lawyer and re-writing the order.

                  14. Watching costs be awarded against a negative advocate solicitor who doesn't read their governing bodies' rules and regulations.

                  Good Luck!
                  Tayken

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                    LOL! I love #2 and #10!
                    #2 is my favourite and comes right out of left field all the time. It is amazing what people will craft for affidavits and oral arguments... What is more interesting is to hear it come out of a litigant or even better... A lawyer's mouth.

                    The funniest thing is the lack of understanding by litigants and their negative advocate solicitors is RELEVANCE. Always amazed to see what mud they will sling and how many affidavits from unrelated third parties who are clearly biased they will bring thinking they are being "creative" and "surprising" the other party.

                    The problem is that many negative advocates sell court as a "win/lose" situation. So they craft up everything they can to muddy the waters that should be focused on resolution and not problems.

                    Family Court isn't about how many people can call the other party a "Satanist" it is PROVING the other party is a satanist.

                    Justice Quinn's theory of Jackassedness applies far too often in Family Courts these days. Why litigants think judges are not attuned to this is beyond me.

                    Good Luck!
                    Tayken

                    Comment


                    • #25
                      Fireweb: yes my pre trial judge was awesome. I wish he had been the Trial Judge. At one point, ex was between lawyers and was attempting to self-rep. It was brief but what a disaster he was. That pre-trial judge reminded him of that great old line about "having a fool for a client." (Anyone that's rep'g themselves, can't remember that line @the moment). Lol, ex was trying to make a capital case that I was not claiming CS on my income tax. It's not taxable income, for starters - and I believe that I did erroneously claim it, but CRA adjusted it accordingly.

                      Comment


                      • #26
                        Quote by Tayken ^ "The funniest thing is the lack of understanding by litigants and their negative advocate solicitors is RELEVANCE. Always amazed to see what mud they will sling and how many affidavits from unrelated third parties who are clearly biased they will bring thinking they are being "creative" and "surprising" the other party."

                        **My ex's lawyer (totally negative advocate) was ALL about ^. Don't they know how foolish they look/sound!? Or is it just that they don't care?? NO SHAME, NO PRIDE, NO CLASS.

                        Comment


                        • #27
                          Thank you for sharing Tayken. The list was hilarious, especially No.2 and 10.
                          Last edited by Nadia; 05-31-2012, 11:42 PM. Reason: Moving along

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            hadenough: you got it. A funny affidavit was filed by my ex last year when he did his annual attempt to have SS eliminated: He stated that I didn't potty train our son - babysitter did. My son found this was hilarious (he is currently 31). Relevance???? Oh and my son would probably feel good if I added that he never wet the bed LOL

                            Comment


                            • #29
                              My ex is a knucklehead and wanted his day in court. He kept insisting that we not settle cos if we went to court I would up with way less than I was receiving for CS. Long story short, it was his own testimony that sewed his own fate and the judgement came through and he owed me more for CS and he lost joint custody. I have Sole Custody plus, plus, plus. On a side note we were both self representing and he owed at the time $15,000.00+/- in arrears. I wish I could post the judgement coz you'd all have a laugh at what his testimony was. I was all I could do to not laugh in his face right then and there. The best thing was that in the hall during recess he said to me he really liked the judge and that this was all just "business"... I wasn't aware as a parent you referred to your own children as "business"...

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                You're so right Billie. I would go to MS Support Group with him and he would say he didn't feel like he belonged because he was not like them. So when it came to our SA all of a sudden he was "just like them". We have a lawyer here in town who has MS is wheelchair bound and still practices law. I have the utmost respect for him. Again I repeat he can walk, fish, hunt, drive, but he can't get a little part time job because he's totally disabled...go figure.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X