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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11  
Old 06-03-2022, 03:10 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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My ex assaulted our children as well. He did have a no contact order as far as the kids but was allowed to contact me. We were not yet litigating in family court. He was following his bail conditions of no drinking, and getting mental health help. After a few months I had a meeting with the prosecutor and asked if he could have supervised access to the kids. The prosecutor varied his bail conditions so that he could have supervised access in specific situations ( he was allowed to attend their sports events in public with mr supervising). This worked well initially but he was sporadic and then stopped all contact for several months after which we started in family litigation and things eventually went south.

If you are not yet in family court, you can ask the prosecutor to grant your ex supervised access with a family member or clergy or at an access centre. Since he assaulted you, you would not be able to supervise.

Your children are not in immediate danger since there is a criminal no contact order already in place. Therefor you can take a moment to breathe and take a bit of time to think your next steps through.

You said you had a lawyer but she is busy. This is not an emergency as the criminal court has dealt with the urgency already, Your lawyer will advise you on next steps.

If you are already in family court, they will at some point need to be made aware of the situation. It is reasonable for you to ask for the family court to give you an order for your ex to have some form of supervised access whether through a CAS supervised access centre or family relative, along with conditions such as he reframe from substance abuse during visits and take an anger management and parenting course. The judge may also order OCL involvement or a custody and access assessment ( which is a waste of money).

The first priority is the safety of the kids, then your safety and then your ex reestablishing his relationship with the kids.

If you are proactive with family court in requesting some type of supervised acccess with conditions for your ex, this will be looked upon favourably and cast you in a good light with the judge. Otherwise you may be seen as overprotective. Your ex will eventually be getting supervised access to the children whether or not you feel comfortable with it.

Last edited by Stillbreathing; 06-03-2022 at 03:15 PM.
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  #12  
Old 06-05-2022, 06:42 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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@Jeff and at @blinkcan either of you do something about this thread? Once again a thread on DV has been hijacked and it is unhelpful for the original poster and other people in a similar situation who may be looking for info.
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  #13  
Old 06-06-2022, 10:43 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stillbreathing View Post
If you are not yet in family court, you can ask the prosecutor to grant your ex supervised access with a family member or clergy or at an access centre. Since he assaulted you, you would not be able to supervise.

Your children are not in immediate danger since there is a criminal no contact order already in place. Therefor you can take a moment to breathe and take a bit of time to think your next steps through.

You said you had a lawyer but she is busy. This is not an emergency as the criminal court has dealt with the urgency already, Your lawyer will advise you on next steps.
I'm going to walk back my comment about the urgent motion and agree with Stillbreathing here.

Maybe not an urgent motion. But I would be bringing some kind of action in family court. My concern with relying solely on the criminal courts and bail restrictions or a no-contact order- is that those can be changed at the prosecutors discretion. I know that when the same thing happened to me- a crown liaison (someone from the crown- I don't remember who) *did* contact me and ask me if it was okay to remove the no contact order. The first time she did it- I hadn't gotten a consent order for supervised access in place yet- so I was able to say "please don't change the conditions yet". But I would be worried that it could be changed without something in the family court process being in place yet.

Either way- I agree that, if you can afford it, you need legal advice right away.

Depending on where you are- there are some organizations that can help you with what some next steps could be. Luke's Place in the east end (Durham region).
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  #14  
Old 06-06-2022, 11:28 AM
lorely lorely is offline
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Stillbreathing and Iona6656 thank you very much for your advices, please don't make a personal issue the discussion.
We had a final agreement with final court order, it looks like it has to go back to court, I want to maintain the no contact order for myself and to go for supervised for kids.
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  #15  
Old 06-06-2022, 11:31 AM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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Posts will continue to be hidden in the thread when they:

- contain no useful information.
- do not relate to the OP's question.
- serve no purpose but to derail and hijack the thread.
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  #16  
Old 06-28-2022, 11:48 AM
lorely lorely is offline
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In case someone comes across this, this is what happened so far, case in criminal court, second date is June 30, crown trying to get peace bond with him, will see if he agrees. I met with my lawyer and going ahead with Motion to change and be proactive regarding the contact of the kids with him, to go for supervised access etc, basically changing access and decision making. I don't want anyone to go through what I went through, it's to the point that I am medically braking up pulling through with everything.
The advice given here were very helpful, thank you again.
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