Quick summary before the Q -- ex moved out summer 06, has only seen kids once since school began, no xmas or bday gifts, no child support. He moved in with his sister 1.5 hrs away in the fall, and only has contact w/kids over the phone now. His choice, not mine. Comes up with various excuses why he can't see them, invariably laying the blame at my feet. Typically the phone conversations leave the kids feeling guilty and acting out at me.
The whole situation is causing my eldest DD8 much grief as they were very close, especially when I was busy w/youngest. Despite previous efforts on my part to encourage ex to be responsible parent, he's claimed it's too hard to be a part-time daddy. ARGH!
Now the Q:
This past week he left a voicemail insisting the only way he'd see the kids is if I arranged family counselling for everyone (me, him, 2 kids). Only concession he'll give is meeting 1/2 between our homes. I'm not allowed to get a ride to these sessions, but would have to pay for a cab or cart the kids on the bus (I don't drive and the ex is ticked that I have some friends willing to drive me).
I've wanted counselling for our eldest for months now, but the ex won't consent. She's involved with a support group at school which is helping some, but I see no value in attending a family session with him + the girls... Especially considering we can't even have a civil conversation.
Does anyone out there support his view that it would benefit the kids for all of us to attend a session at this juncture, given our history of power imbalance and violence?
Thanks much, as always!!
The whole situation is causing my eldest DD8 much grief as they were very close, especially when I was busy w/youngest. Despite previous efforts on my part to encourage ex to be responsible parent, he's claimed it's too hard to be a part-time daddy. ARGH!
Now the Q:
This past week he left a voicemail insisting the only way he'd see the kids is if I arranged family counselling for everyone (me, him, 2 kids). Only concession he'll give is meeting 1/2 between our homes. I'm not allowed to get a ride to these sessions, but would have to pay for a cab or cart the kids on the bus (I don't drive and the ex is ticked that I have some friends willing to drive me).
I've wanted counselling for our eldest for months now, but the ex won't consent. She's involved with a support group at school which is helping some, but I see no value in attending a family session with him + the girls... Especially considering we can't even have a civil conversation.
Does anyone out there support his view that it would benefit the kids for all of us to attend a session at this juncture, given our history of power imbalance and violence?
Thanks much, as always!!
Comment