University Cost Contribution of Child

[paulsc]

My 18 yo son is set to begin university this fall and I have a question that can hopefully be answered. In our seperation agreement, the clause regarding contribution of each of us to his education ends with "...Subject to the children's ability to contribute towards the costs."

I feel very strongly that he should be contributing something towards his education and not allowing all the burden to fall on both his mother and I. I have the larger income and therefore the larger proportion of costs to bear as well. She has sole custody and has unilaterally decided that he will not contribute anything towards his university education other than his discretionary spending on things such as activities and social life.

My question revolves around the above statement in the seperation agreement. Does his mother have the right to say he is contributing nothing and thereby increasing what my contribution ends up being even though he is able to contribute towards the costs?

[dadtotheend]

No she does not.

[paulsc]

No she does not.

Thank you.

Is there any set amount a child is expected to contribute or what would be considered a reasonable amount of contribution?

[ONdad]

I've heard 1/3, but don't quote me on that. The CS guidelines state that the student (your son) must exhaust all sources of funds, like savings from work, scholorships, bursaries, etc. before determining the parents' contribution. From there, you may have to pay half, or you may have to pay proportionally to income.

You could also figure that a child can work for at least 3 summers before university, so 9 weeks times 3 years is 27 weeks. If they made $10/hr, that would equal $10800, less deductions, which would be minimal. That would leave the student with $10,000 for first year. After that, they should be able to work for 4 months a year, or 17 weeks, so that's $6800 per year, less CPP and EI. That should be enough for 1/2 the school year, unless he's in engineering or one of the other de-regulated programs, which would probably cost about $6-6500 in tuition and books alone.

Either way, he should have saved up enough to almost pay for the first year and should make enough to pay for about half of the next 3 years. I also think that he might be able to get student loans too. I think that it's important for students to pay for their own education, at least in part. I don't think that it's unreasonable to expect a child to pay for 2/3 of their education, even if they have to take out student loans, but I'm not a judge.

[paulsc]

Unfortuneately, he has not worked up until this summer (he turned down a very good job that my wife got for him last summer that he could have earned $4 to $5 thousand with the blessing of his mother )

I have proposed he be responsible for 20% of his education costs this year with the balance covered by his mother and I proportionate to our incomes as per the sep agreement and she has said no, he will be paying nothing.

[frustratedwithex]

Is the child expected to contribute if there is an RESP that covers all costs?

[paulsc]

Is the child expected to contribute if there is an RESP that covers all costs?

His mother did open an RESP but I doubt very much that there is enough in it to cover all the costs.

[mediatorgator]

What are your thoughts on this. I am open to honest opinion as I really am not sure if Im being unreasonable at this point. My daughter is 23. She was raped at 17 and in an abusive relationship at 18 and 19...it took a few years to get her head on straight and regain her confidence...she had a lot of miss steps and was in and out of jobs. She is now in college full time and doing really well. Her father doesnt feel responsible to help out with support and is fighting me every step of the way. I think she has been through enough and should be able to finish debt free because between us we can make that happen...with her paying her fair share from the grant portion of her OSAP.

This is going to trial and I just dont understand how he can allow his animosity toward me be his primary focus after all she has been through....he just continues to try to deny her experienced happened or to minimize them.

[Mess]

• He hates you and is willing to hurt his daughter to get at you
• He legitimately believes that she needs to learn to support herself
• He is angry and resentful but has bottled it up inside and rationalizes to himself that he is doing this for sound logical reasons.

Pick one, I don't know the man.

[mediatorgator]

You must have met in a previous life. I would say all three apply. But I vascilate on going forward with the trial. I think it has become a battle of wills now but she deserves to have her parents support through school. It isnt her fault that her life was thrown in to a tail spin in high school preventing her from going straight in to college. He should be happy for the short reprieve and be ecstatic that she has moved forward.

[OttawaM43]

PaulSc
In my situation it was the judge's way we did things. No matter what my ex wanted to do. The child was responsible for 1/3 of his/her portion of the total expense after all monies ie. burseries, grants etc. The other 2/3 of the education was split using the income of each parent as the percentage. I had to pay 69% Now the other good thing you might want to keep in mind and it helped me in my situation is that when my daughter was in college she was living with friends in an apartment but my ex was still collecting child support for her. The judge asked my ex why I was paying her while my daughter was not even living with her. The judge gave me credit for all the CS I paid in the 2 years she was in college and living away from her mother. That reduced my lump sum payment for education. Unfortunately after arguing with the judge to have the monies go to my daughter, my ex got it, which she has not given a penny to my daughter. As for the RESP I would have to think that that would be included with grants etc and then the 2/3 for the parents would be calculated. But then again...im just using common sence.

[paulsc]

But then again...im just using common sence.

OttawaM43 - I have been advised that no common sense is allowed into this debate with her

I have an appt today with the lawyer to discuss all the issues surrounding this. I have said repeatedly to both her and my son, that I am more than willing to contribute and help but there has to be some effort and contribution from my son as well.

I proposed paying the CS direct to him as well for his living expenses while away at school - that did not go over well at all.

[ONdad]

I proposed paying the CS direct to him as well for his living expenses while away at school - that did not go over well at all.

As far as I'm concerned, that should be the way it always is. My opinion doesn't count for crap, though.

[Cumberland]

Why do you mention that your daughter was raped? Very sad but it has nothing to do with her education and who pays for what. I don’t believe the father has a legal responsibility to pay however without knowing the whole story it had to say.

[billiechic]

If you have been putting money towards an RESP for you child, then that is considered YOUR contribution, not theirs. A child's contribution would include income they earned, money they had saved (from gifts etc) bursaries and loans.