Here's my situation:
I'm the husband.
Been officially separated since Feb 2013
We have exchanged financials but are currently waiting for her lawyer to get back from a leave. VERY SLOW. Haven't exchanged offers yet !
Still living in matrimonial home, in the basement
2 boys 9 and 7
Combined incomes of $200K. BOth professionals. Wife makes more.
I am very involved with the boys because my wife works more than I do and has a very involved job. My job is more flexible.
I get the boys to the bus stop in the morning 4 out of 5 days. UP, dressed, fed, backpacks, teeth, etc...
I pick up the boys form after school latchkey 3-4 out of 5 days around 4:30pm.
I make sure the kids have done their homework and help with it if needed after we get home.
I will set the table, do dishes, make some dinners, depending.
She generally leaves at 5:45am and comes home at 5:20pm or later.
She does most of the grocery shopping, plans most of the meals, cooks most of the meals, does most of the laundry. I help out with all of that.
I do most of the hockey practices and games. Oldest plays travel.
I have spent a lot of time with the boys and have a very close relationship with both boys. As does she.
I want 50-50 access and sharing of expenses.
She wants custody and me to pay her child support.
She says every other weekend is the standard. The kids need to sleep in the same bed. They need stability. We need to do what's in their best interests. Think about the children. They can't be split between 2 houses.
I expect we would both live in the same school district and the kids will continue to go to the same school. I believe this is best for the kids.
Yet, she has already said she will have to put them into 3rd party care more if she gets custody. Before school earlier and picking up later due to her job. If I have them half the time at least they wouldn't be at 3rd party care as long.
My lawyer will not talk about my chances. All he will say is I have a good case. He is very experienced (20+y). He likes to take things slow.
She is very firm on not having 50-50. But I don't believe she is talking to people who have been through the system. And she has got to be telling her lawyer that she is the primary caregiver and deserves custody.
I can't believe her lawyer would push this thing to court. Maybe she will tell my stbx later what the court system is like.
Most people I talk to say there is no way she is getting custody or anything more than 50-50. We both make good money, and we both have been a significant part of the boys lives.
We are actually living fairly harmoniously all things considered. A couple of arguments. But then again everytime I disagree with her she says I am yelling at her...
Questions:
What does it mean when my lawyer says "time is on your side"...
She is keeping notes on me. I have read some of them and let's just say they are rather beign. But anytime we discuss something it's all about me storming and yelling and attacking. Yet, I don't remember anything like that. Do these notes mean anything ? She never mentions what kind of father I am in these notes. Funny that. SO, is her lawyer telling her to keep these notes to get the % from 50% to say 30% ?
She says I will be paying her court costs if I don't accept her first offer. huh ?
Do I have a good case for 50-50 ? I just want to make sure the boys have their father in their lives as much as possible.
We have always been equal partners. Seems to me that should continue but she doesn't see it that way.
How can she make the argument she is primary caregiver ?
Hopefully the process will start up again in 2-3 weeks. That's when I believe it will get a little more tense when I hold my ground on 50-50.
Maybe some of the veterns on the forum can answer my questions and give an analysis of my situation.
I'm the husband.
Been officially separated since Feb 2013
We have exchanged financials but are currently waiting for her lawyer to get back from a leave. VERY SLOW. Haven't exchanged offers yet !
Still living in matrimonial home, in the basement
2 boys 9 and 7
Combined incomes of $200K. BOth professionals. Wife makes more.
I am very involved with the boys because my wife works more than I do and has a very involved job. My job is more flexible.
I get the boys to the bus stop in the morning 4 out of 5 days. UP, dressed, fed, backpacks, teeth, etc...
I pick up the boys form after school latchkey 3-4 out of 5 days around 4:30pm.
I make sure the kids have done their homework and help with it if needed after we get home.
I will set the table, do dishes, make some dinners, depending.
She generally leaves at 5:45am and comes home at 5:20pm or later.
She does most of the grocery shopping, plans most of the meals, cooks most of the meals, does most of the laundry. I help out with all of that.
I do most of the hockey practices and games. Oldest plays travel.
I have spent a lot of time with the boys and have a very close relationship with both boys. As does she.
I want 50-50 access and sharing of expenses.
She wants custody and me to pay her child support.
She says every other weekend is the standard. The kids need to sleep in the same bed. They need stability. We need to do what's in their best interests. Think about the children. They can't be split between 2 houses.
I expect we would both live in the same school district and the kids will continue to go to the same school. I believe this is best for the kids.
Yet, she has already said she will have to put them into 3rd party care more if she gets custody. Before school earlier and picking up later due to her job. If I have them half the time at least they wouldn't be at 3rd party care as long.
My lawyer will not talk about my chances. All he will say is I have a good case. He is very experienced (20+y). He likes to take things slow.
She is very firm on not having 50-50. But I don't believe she is talking to people who have been through the system. And she has got to be telling her lawyer that she is the primary caregiver and deserves custody.
I can't believe her lawyer would push this thing to court. Maybe she will tell my stbx later what the court system is like.
Most people I talk to say there is no way she is getting custody or anything more than 50-50. We both make good money, and we both have been a significant part of the boys lives.
We are actually living fairly harmoniously all things considered. A couple of arguments. But then again everytime I disagree with her she says I am yelling at her...
Questions:
What does it mean when my lawyer says "time is on your side"...
She is keeping notes on me. I have read some of them and let's just say they are rather beign. But anytime we discuss something it's all about me storming and yelling and attacking. Yet, I don't remember anything like that. Do these notes mean anything ? She never mentions what kind of father I am in these notes. Funny that. SO, is her lawyer telling her to keep these notes to get the % from 50% to say 30% ?
She says I will be paying her court costs if I don't accept her first offer. huh ?
Do I have a good case for 50-50 ? I just want to make sure the boys have their father in their lives as much as possible.
We have always been equal partners. Seems to me that should continue but she doesn't see it that way.
How can she make the argument she is primary caregiver ?
Hopefully the process will start up again in 2-3 weeks. That's when I believe it will get a little more tense when I hold my ground on 50-50.
Maybe some of the veterns on the forum can answer my questions and give an analysis of my situation.
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