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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 10-18-2009, 12:27 AM
Edward Edward is offline
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Default My lawyer wants to propose status quo

Which means I would be primary caregiver for ghe child. He sent me a copy of proposal settlement that I view and 'edit' if needed. Also my lawyer wants assets to be shared, which includes only furniture and other households, which my wife took with her 11 months ago and she has got rid of it.

Now, my main goal is shared custody. If I ask for full custody my wife will DEFINETELY refuse it and this will turn into a contested divorce. She could even file for interim order.Also I don't care about assets. Fighting for a few things not worth that much is not worth jeopardising child agreement.

So I plan to edit the proposal by removing status quo mentioning. But will put 50/50 instead of 57/43 as I offered earlier. Will remove assets because they are not worth much and money can buy furniture. EVEN THOUGH MY WIFE CAME WITH THE POLICE BECAUSE AND LIED TO POLICE THAT I MAY DAMAGE IT. THE POLICE TOOK PHOTOS OF HOUSEHOLDS. But I didn't know my rights to tell the police only judge will decide what belongs to whom. But she didn't think I would damage it she thought I would take it and lied it is all hers.

Anyway that was 11 months ago and I really dont care about the assets.

So do you guys agree that I should drop the assets and mentioning status quo for the sake of possible shared custody agreement? If she refuses shared custody then I will fight for every spoon and fork, file for retroactive CS and even possibly sue her for bringing the police and lying I may damage the furniture and had themto take photos of OUR stuff. (if possible)
  #2  
Old 10-18-2009, 05:14 PM
strotter1006 strotter1006 is offline
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I'm so sorry you are going though all this. I am going though it all myself but my ex has all the assets either at his parents house or at the house that we shared and I have no way of getting in. I do have the most important thing I have the children but it would be nice to have the childrens belongs like crib, toys and furniture they owned before we moved in together.

Are things getting easier for you now 11 months later?
  #3  
Old 10-18-2009, 06:41 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
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What is your lawyer proposing with regards to custody? Joint or sole? It would seem odd if he is proposing the time split, but not the actual custody.
  #4  
Old 10-18-2009, 09:40 PM
midnightvampyr midnightvampyr is offline
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Default Lawyer

Go to court

Division of Assets will take care of the asset issues

If you have custody of the child she owes you child support

One of you owes spousal support

Is your lawyer a family law specialist???

If not, get one that knows what they are doing - a difficult task all in itself unfortunately...educate yourself so that the lawyers cannot hoodwink you while they help themselves to your cash
  #5  
Old 10-19-2009, 04:55 AM
Edward Edward is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by midnightvampyr View Post
Go to court

Division of Assets will take care of the asset issues

If you have custody of the child she owes you child support

One of you owes spousal support

Is your lawyer a family law specialist???

If not, get one that knows what they are doing - a difficult task all in itself unfortunately...educate yourself so that the lawyers cannot hoodwink you while they help themselves to your cash
Well my lawyer was appointed to me by legal aid. she said 50% of her work is family law. I don't want any assets. I want my lawyer to work out child support.

Also I have edited my lawyer's proposal and sent it back to her. I never asked for full custody and she put that because she thinks it is the best thing.

I just wrote to my lawyer specifically what I want and what I don't want. I said 50/50 shared custody. I removed the mentioning of CCTB that my wife was receiving while I was solely paying everything for the child because I don't want anything that will make my wife think that I feel as in command.

My wife (unless she is lying and we will see soon) said she wants shared custody and everything else will be worked out.

So if my lawyer insists on something that I don't like, I will fire her.

It may be better to put cards on the table and show my wife her disadvantages but also that may trigger her to change her mind and fight, so unless she accepts this proposal, my next proposal will be DETAILED. Then I will write how much money she received from CCTB ($8000) and will try to get that money from her, will file for retroactive child support, will share assets 50/50 and so on. But if she accepts this more than fair proposal, then it will all be good.

But yea, I won't let my lawyer drag this case and turn it into a contested divorce as I think she might be trying to do.
  #6  
Old 10-19-2009, 05:00 AM
Edward Edward is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
What is your lawyer proposing with regards to custody? Joint or sole? It would seem odd if he is proposing the time split, but not the actual custody.
My wife proposed joint legal custody and full physical custody.

My lawyer proposed full custody for me.

I disagree with both of them.

Shared custody is best for the child. And his parents.
  #7  
Old 10-19-2009, 07:32 AM
Stargate Stargate is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Edward View Post
My wife proposed joint legal custody and full physical custody.

My lawyer proposed full custody for me.

I disagree with both of them.

Shared custody is best for the child. And his parents.
You're in for a fight. What you see as the best solution for custody is not necessarily what a Judge will see.
  #8  
Old 10-19-2009, 08:29 AM
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wretchedotis wretchedotis is offline
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I would follow your Lawyers advice. This is no longer the time to be thinking of you ex's feelings. I understand you don't wish to make things more difficult, so try mediation and all that kind of stuff too. You'll be able to say to her that you are looking for solutions, and she needs to participate or not get offended when you persue legal action if/when she won't participate.

Having full custody does not mean you must exclude the other parent from the decision making process in subjects pertaining to your children. You are still quite able to seriously consider any suggestions your ex makes. Hopefully, you would be able to find it within yourself to do just that.
  #9  
Old 10-19-2009, 08:47 AM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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I'm sorry. You are being fair and reasonable, and she is not listening to sense. You have custody of the child now, She should have accepted shared. I would continue to offer shared custody (50/50) and try to mediate. The more reasonable you are then the more likely the judge will see it as her being unfair. Good luck.
  #10  
Old 10-19-2009, 05:52 PM
Edward Edward is offline
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Thank you both.

Here is the thing. My wife received $8000 CCTB and spent it. But none for the child.

F or 10 monts I took the care of the child. She paid no CS etc.

She filed for shared legal custody and primary physical custody

I responded 50/50


Now my lawyer wrote a settlement proposal to send to her lawyer which includes that I should get full custody and other stuff based on circumstances.

I edited my lawyers proposal and put in nothing that my wife would see as my advantage, and emailed it back to her.

But I called her today and was told she won't be back until next week. WTH

She was appointed to me by legal aid

PS. Her proposal makes sense and IS fair but I know my wife wouldn't accept it and it would turn into a battle. I am willing to sacrifice some assets and help her pay 1 bill for shared custody
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