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  • #31
    I know it bothers you that I get PM's from peeps who don't want to post publicly and deal with posters like you. Your mocking doesn't affect me.

    To stay on track .. again, I enjoyed Arabian's article. I think that they do require some kind of reform though. Many people are using the system to deny access over false allegations. The fact that you don't even need a police report or "any" form of evidence of abuse to enter one of these places is bothersome.

    Perhaps that's the reason that they're overcrowded now and a new movement should be initiated for the parents that scam them. This would make room for the one's who actually require the services and aren't filling up the rooms to get a step ahead in custody cases.

    It looks great in court for a schemer to say that she was in a shelter. Mine did this as you know Arabian .. luckily the courts saw through it in my case as many don't.

    That being said, I still think they serve a great purpose and save many women's lives.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
      To stay on track .. again, I enjoyed Arabian's article. I think that they do require some kind of reform though. Many people are using the system to deny access over false allegations. The fact that you don't even need a police report or "any" form of evidence of abuse to enter one of these places is bothersome.
      They could start by removing the word "women" and making these shelters unisex - ensuring domestic couples don't come into contact - perhaps a separate section for men. Or better yet, they could create men's shelters the next time they want to put up a new shelter. If a women can just walk in to a shelter off the street claiming to be a victim domestic violence then there should be no excuse why the male counterpart can't.

      If we created an organization that only supported men or hired men then they would be all over us about discrimination. All over it. But when they create organizations that only support women.. then it's completely okay.

      Who run's these shelters and why are they so biased against men? If we can have both men and women's jail, then there should be no excuse why we can't have both men and women's shelters.
      Last edited by trinton; 05-12-2017, 04:17 PM.

      Comment


      • #33
        Unfortunately the ones who disagree with these shelters are often the ones who have never had to deal with domestic violence.

        The idea of turning a women away because she doesn't have a police report could get her killed in some situations. Most times when women leave abusive relationships they do so on a whim. They finally get the courage to do so. If they were turned away at a shelter because they never called the cops in the past they would return to their abuser because that's all they have and know.

        I agree that investigations should be done when a women ends up at a shelter, the shelter should be calling the police and following up with the abusive claims.

        I agree some women use it as a way to gain custody but I truly think those are few and far between (although it may not seem that way with the posters on this site) but shelters certainly have their place. It is like any other system... welfare? Some people cheat the system but the majority of the people actually require the help.

        I do not agree that shelters should be unisex. Again unless you have been in an abusive relationship you don't know how you feel... leaving an abusive relationship the last thing you want as a woman is to be around men you don't know or trust. The point of a shelter is to provide a safe haven for the one who was abused, to provide a space where they don't have to worry. To have a unisex shelter would have most abused women constantly looking over their shoulders.

        Maybe a men's shelter is needed, but unless someone makes that need known there will be no change. It takes someone or a group to have the initiative to start the change process. A shelter won't be built or provided if a need isn't established. There has been a need established for women's shelters which is why they are everywhere. If a need is established for a men's shelter then those would be provided.


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        • #34
          Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
          Some people cheat the system but the majority of the people actually require the help.
          The majority of them are actually liying and possibly encouraged to do so by women's shelters.
          Last edited by trinton; 05-12-2017, 07:26 PM.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
            The idea of turning a women away because she doesn't have a police report could get her killed in some situations.
            Because only men kill women and women have never killed men right?


            Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
            Maybe a men's shelter is needed, but unless someone makes that need known there will be no change. It takes someone or a group to have the initiative to start the change process. A shelter won't be built or provided if a need isn't established. There has been a need established for women's shelters which is why they are everywhere. If a need is established for a men's shelter then those would be provided.
            The need: to protect men from abusive women.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by trinton View Post
              Because only men kill women and women have never killed men right?




              The need: to protect men from abusive women.


              So are you willing to step up and help this need find a solution or is this one of those things that it's easier to complain about then stand up and take action?

              I don't believe I ever once said women don't kill men, it certainly does happen. But are men stepping up to enact change? That doesn't seem to be happening. Women have stepped up and made changes for women, remember it use to be acceptable for women to be property... I don't think women ever controlled men the way men controlled women.


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              • #37
                Originally posted by Soiled View Post
                So you choose to disregard everything I stated and instead focus on complaining about how combative my usage of the word whining is? Indeed, highly mature discussion you are having, full of rich enlightening debate.

                I won't bother to continue with this one any further. Besides, I just received a PM thanking me for my posts and validating everything I've said!
                Yeah this thread went sideways.

                I noted only a few people actually had some good things to say about the women who started the shelter in Toronto.

                Hope the thread is shut down now - all it is doing is encouraging very derogatory posts ... certainly nothing befitting the dignity, courage and hard work of the women who started the shelter.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                  So are you willing to step up and help this need find a solution or is this one of those things that it's easier to complain about then stand up and take action?
                  Take a look at this experiment video first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtVHnZX8E50 . . As you see, when a women get's assaulted - everyone runs to help and beat up the guy.. when the guy get's assaulted then everyone just walks by.

                  LF32 pointed out in an earlier post a friend who got a black eye by his ex and was then laughed at by the cops.

                  They would laugh at us if we asked for a men's shelter. First, they would accuse of us looking for a excuse to avoid having to pay child support. Then they would suspend our license for not having a job and being able to pay child support, then they would lock us up in jail for not having paid child support. It's the sad way of our society.


                  Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post

                  But are men stepping up to enact change? That doesn't seem to be happening. Women have stepped up and made changes for women,
                  See my comments above. As obvious, it's much easier for women to accomplish then it is for men. I think it goes something to the "stop crying and whining like a little girl .. man up" That does not mean that men are not stepping up. Men are stopping up in very many different ways by forming groups in local communities and bringing public attention. These groups are obviously more concerned about equal access to their children then they are with a men's shelter home. These men even have women supporting them, obviously it's not as easy it is for them when they have hefty child and spousal support payments to make and is much easier for women who sit on their ass all day collecting welfare cheques.


                  Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                  remember it use to be acceptable for women to be property... I don't think women ever controlled men the way men controlled women.
                  Women were never property. That's just a clear example of disturbed thinking by women - that women were slaves. I think you've mistaken. CHILDREN were property of men back in the day. Then feminists brought equality and then women got their panties in a bunch and started controlling men as a way of revenge. You've obviously never met a sole custodial mom. I could tell you all about one that I know very well, and so could other men on this forum about other controlling women they know about. You'll be surprised to learn about all of the various different ridiculous ways women control and manipulate men and even their children.


                  Back to the topic of domestic violence and women's shelter, I just went on a random women's shelter website and look what I see

                  We can offer you assistance with transportation and childcare, advocacy and accompaniment to appointments and court, individual and group counselling, and follow up support after your stay.
                  I literally had 6 of these women accommodating my ex and following her everywhere and having 9 eyes on me as if everything she had said was accurate and that I was this crazy dangerous criminal. They with Welfare had helped her get legal aid lawyer and everything. It wasn't long before the court staff person "who is assigned to cases where victim of domestic violence staff are present" spoke to me for a couple of minutes and realized what full of baloney the other parent was. Of course the judge never gave her a restraining order. I wouldn't have either if I saw a guy like me being accused of being and painted as this crazy dangerous criminal.

                  Anyways, as mentioned this is a BIG problem. Just listen to this lawyer talk to a judge about all of these cases of false abuse by women against men and what it is doing to their families and especially to the children and the children's relationship with their father.

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hq_ncQwecM
                  Last edited by trinton; 05-12-2017, 09:56 PM.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                    So are you willing to step up and help this need find a solution or is this one of those things that it's easier to complain about then stand up and take action?
                    Take a look at this experiment video first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtVHnZX8E50 . . As you see, when a women get's assaulted - everyone runs to help and beat up the guy.. when the guy get's assaulted then everyone just walks by.

                    LF32 pointed out in an earlier post a friend who got a black eye by his ex and was then laughed at by the cops.

                    They would laugh at us if we asked for a men's shelter. First, they would accuse of us looking for a excuse to avoid having to pay child support. Then they would suspend our license for not having a job and being able to pay child support, then they would lock us up in jail for not having paid child support. It's the sad way of our society.


                    Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post

                    But are men stepping up to enact change? That doesn't seem to be happening. Women have stepped up and made changes for women,
                    See my comments above. As obvious, it's much easier for women to accomplish then it is for men. I think it goes something to the "stop crying and whining like a little girl .. man up" That does not mean that men are not stepping up. Men are stopping up in very many different ways by forming groups in local communities and bringing public attention. These groups are obviously more concerned about equal access to their children then they are with a men's shelter home. These men even have women supporting them, obviously it's not as easy it is for them when they have hefty child and spousal support payments to make and is much easier for women who sit on their ass all day collecting welfare cheques.


                    Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                    remember it use to be acceptable for women to be property... I don't think women ever controlled men the way men controlled women.
                    Women were never property. That's just a clear example of disturbed thinking by women - that women were slaves. I think you've mistaken. CHILDREN were property of men back in the day. Then feminists brought equality and then women got their panties in a bunch and started controlling men as a way of revenge. You've obviously never met a sole custodial mom. I could tell you all about one that I know very well, and so could other men on this forum about other controlling women they know about. You'll be surprised to learn about all of the various different ridiculous ways women control and manipulate men and even their children.


                    Back to the topic of domestic violence and women's shelter, I just went on a random women's shelter website and look what I see

                    We can offer you assistance with transportation and childcare, advocacy and accompaniment to appointments and court, individual and group counselling, and follow up support after your stay.
                    I literally had 6 of these women accommodating my ex and following her everywhere and having 9 eyes on me as if everything she had said was accurate and that I was this crazy dangerous criminal. They with Welfare had helped her get legal aid lawyer and everything. It wasn't long before the court staff person "who is assigned to cases where victim of domestic violence staff are present" spoke to me for a couple of minutes and realized what full of baloney the other parent was. Of course the judge never gave her a restraining order. I wouldn't have either if I saw a guy like me being accused of being and painted as this crazy dangerous criminal.

                    Anyways, as mentioned this is a BIG problem. Just listen to this lawyer talk to a judge about all of these cases of false abuse by women against men and what it is doing to their families and especially to the children and the children's relationship with their father.

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hq_ncQwecM
                    Last edited by trinton; 05-12-2017, 09:56 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by trinton View Post
                      Take a look at this experiment video first: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtVHnZX8E50 . . As you see, when a women get's assaulted - everyone runs to help and beat up the guy.. when the guy get's assaulted then everyone just walks by.

                      LF32 pointed out in an earlier post a friend who got a black eye by his ex and was then laughed at by the cops.

                      They would laugh at us if we asked for a men's shelter. First, they would accuse of us looking for a excuse to avoid having to pay child support. Then they would suspend our license for not having a job and being able to pay child support, then they would lock us up in jail for not having paid child support. It's the way of society.




                      See my comments above. As obvious, it's much easier for women to accomplish then it is for men. I think it goes something to the "stop crying and whining like a little girl .. man up" That does not mean that men are not stepping up. Men are stopping up in very many different ways by forming groups in local communities and bringing public attention. These groups are obviously more concerned about equal access to their children then they are with a men's shelter home. These men even have women supporting them, obviously it's not as easy it is for them when they have hefty child and spousal support payments to make and is much easier for women who sit on their ass all day collecting welfare cheques.




                      Women were never property. That's just a clear example of disturbed thinking by women - that women were slaves. I think you've mistaken. CHILDREN were property of men back in the day. Then feminists brought equality and then women got their panties in a bunch and started controlling men as a way of revenge. You've obviously never met a sole custodial mom. I could tell you all about one that I know very well, and so could other men on this forum about other controlling women they know about. You'll be surprised to learn about all of the various different ridiculous ways women control and manipulate men and even their children.


                      Back to the topic of domestic violence and women's shelter, I just went on a random women's shelter website and look what I see



                      I literally had 6 of these women accommodating my ex and following her everywhere and having 9 eyes on me as if everything she had said was accurate and that I was this crazy dangerous criminal. It wasn't long before the court staff person "who is assigned to cases where victim of domestic violence staff are present" spoke to me for a couple of minutes and realized what full of baloney the other parent was.

                      Anyways, as mentioned this is a BIG problem. Just listen to this lawyer talk about all of these cases of false abuse by women against men ...

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hq_ncQwecM
                      Trinton, you have some basis, however what people are trying to day to you, is that these problems your listing, were all ones that women had to overcome as pointed out by the article. Have a close read through It, excellent blueprint to use to accomplish your goals if you chose to follow it. Here are some quotes from It, that are parallel to the challenges your listing.

                      - One afternoon, he smacked her on the back of the head, knocking her to the floor and nearly cracking her skull on a wall.

                      When the police arrived, he was sitting in his chair watching TV as though nothing had happened. Officers questioned him, then Jan, then him again. She remembers clearly what they said to her next.

                      "They said, 'You behave yourself,''' recalls Jan, who asked that her last name be withheld to protect her children's identities.

                      - She had also spent a depressing year in law school, where a professor would entertain his mostly male students with "funny'' sex assault cases.

                      - People thought "we were creating an issue where there wasn't really an issue,'' she says.

                      - On July 21, 1973, the Toronto Star ran a story about Interval House with the headline "The rising wave of runaway wives.''

                      While the story detailed the violence suffered by some of the home's residents, it portrayed the shelter as building a "brotherhood of deserted husbands.''

                      - Every police officer who responded to Interval House had to be educated about its mission. Many became supportive, Zimmer says, but it took time.

                      "They were the same as everyone else. They would say, 'He's your husband, you should go back to him.'''



                      As Well, saying women were never property is laughable, you don't have to go far back in history to find women being traded to cement alliances or peace treaties. Arranged marriages still occur with the woman being traded for goats even in today's times. Or if that's not close enough to home, look up what occurred a few years back in bountiful BC

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Soiled View Post
                        Tlook up what occurred a few years back in bountiful BC
                        Are you talking about the father who had to commit suicide and leave whatever he had to his daughter after he was ordered to pay child support every month in an amount far exceeding the amount of money he actually made every month ? Yes there were FALSE allegations of abuse by the mother (and even Police charges that were eventually stayed.)

                        http://news.nationalpost.com/full-co...him-to-suicide
                        Last edited by trinton; 05-12-2017, 10:01 PM.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          The Toronto Women's shelter was started by unpaid women. They scrounged around for supplies. They did not have the luxury of government grants. To this very day, women's shelters across the country rely heavily on donations and revenue derived from fund-raising activities that people and businesses volunteer their time for.

                          Yes people from the shelter often times accompany women to court. This is no different than paid staff from the John Howard Society across Canada (for men) who provide support and counselling to their clients. The John Howard Society (just to name one) is active in assisting men incarcerated in prisons across the country.

                          There are limited shelters in the country for men fleeing domestic violence. Perhaps men need to get organized and donate some of their time and money to open more men's shelters? Volunteerism was/is the essential ingredient for success and operation of women's shelters across the country.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by trinton View Post
                            Are you talking about the father who had to commit suicide and leave whatever he had to his daughter after he was ordered to pay child support every month in an amount far exceeding the amount of money he actually made every month ? Yes there were FALSE allegations of abuse by the mother (and even Police charges that were eventually stayed.)

                            Christie Blatchford: B.C. man pleads for family court reform in suicide note | National Post
                            Wow, really? Nope, didnt mention bountiful in that article, nor was it even related to what I was writing about. So nope.

                            Your really stretching to find ways to make a point, to the extent your arguments aren't even relevant to the initial one you made...

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              If people do not pursue charging their ex with uttering false statements (on advice from their lawyer?) then there is little that can or will be done to stop people (male and female) from false accusations.

                              I have never once heard of anyone on this forum (who was falsely accused) actually pursuing the matter legally. I wonder why that is? Seems odd that a person is willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars in court but doesn't see that the false accuser is penalized. Instead, years later the person accused sits and posts on an anonymous forum...still seething at the injustice.... still infuriated with their ex... still blaming the system... insulting any person of the opposite sex who will listen. Pretty futile IMO.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by arabian View Post
                                If people do not pursue charging their ex with uttering false statements (on advice from their lawyer?) then there is little that can or will be done to stop people (male and female) from false accusations.

                                I have never once heard of anyone on this forum (who was falsely accused) actually pursuing the matter legally. I wonder why that is? Seems odd that a person is willing to spend tens of thousands of dollars in court but doesn't see that the false accuser is penalized. Instead, years later the person accused sits and posts on an anonymous forum...still seething at the injustice.... still infuriated with their ex... still blaming the system... insulting any person of the opposite sex who will listen. Pretty futile IMO.
                                Spot on Arabian. Nothing changes if the ones who take issue with the problems, do nothing. Internet forums such as this, will do very little if anything, to enact that change.

                                Comment

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