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Can't fullfil court order due to circumstances outside of my control - help?

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  • Can't fullfil court order due to circumstances outside of my control - help?

    Long story, crazy situation.

    A few years back I was served with a notice that I was required to pay child support. The child was my then 6 yr old son. The problem was that he was born, his mother and I had put him up for adoption. I can't describe in words how much that broke my heart, but all of those feelings came right back when I got served.

    Around the same time, the law firm that handled the adoption sent me a refund cheque because they had been doing some account clean up and had this outstanding money for me. As it turns out, the adoption was never fully completed and the child's mother decided to keep him.

    The reason I was served was because her and her boyfriend were receiving social assistance and the government wanted to pay out less money. They saw me as an opportunity to support the child, so that they wouldn't have to.

    After a year and a half of court and lawyers and tens of thousands of dollars in debt, the judge ruled for two things. The first was that I could not have contact with my son (which I fought hard for). He said that due to the boys age and the fact that he believed that the boyfriend was his father, it would be in the child's best interest to not know about me.

    The second was that I did not have to pay support, however I did have to put a lump sum of money into an RESP. No problem. I had 2 years to do this and gladly put the money aside. When the day came to open the RESP account, the bank informed me that I needed to have a SIN number for my son in order to do this. I contacted his mother and she advised he had no SIN. I asked her to acquire one for him.

    She spent two years making up excuses and not doing it. She told me that she never registered his birth and that without a birth certificate he can't get a SIN. She also told me that he couldn't get a health card, yet in prior email exchanges, she had told me about having him to the doctor for some health issues. I don't buy it.

    The mother hasn't contacted me or responded to my requests for about a year now.

    Anyway, the point is that the due date was a over a year ago and I have been unable to complete the court order. I've tried to cover my butt though. I have copies of all of the emails that she has sent me and my emails to her asking for her assistance in getting the SIN. I've also had the full amount for the RESP sitting in a separate savings account since the date that it was due to be completed.

    I've repeatedly contacted my lawyer (8 months ago) who has yet to respond to me with anything other than "we'll get to you soon". So now I am stuck. The last thing my lawyer mentioned was something about a Motion to Vary.

    I'm worried that I am going to get into debt over my head again and I have a family to worry about this time. Does anyone have any advice on how I could handle this situation?

  • #2
    Originally posted by rstatic View Post
    Anyway, the point is that the due date was a over a year ago and I have been unable to complete the court order. I've tried to cover my butt though. I have copies of all of the emails that she has sent me and my emails to her asking for her assistance in getting the SIN. I've also had the full amount for the RESP sitting in a separate savings account since the date that it was due to be completed.
    Welcome to the forum, you have put yourself in a very good position.
    It was good to keep all communications and prepare an account with the court ordered amount.
    If she presses the issue you have clear an concise documentation that you did everything within your power to comply. Void the personal documentation from the mother, your hands are tied, there is nothing more you can do.
    The final thing is you could seek a court order, ordering her to provide this information so that you can finish the RESP account setup.

    Other than that, you’ve done a great job at adhering to the court order, doing everything you could, and the ball is pretty much in her court!

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    • #3
      I commend you for your efforts in this. As for her, something doesn't add up. She says she never registered his birth ( which is illegal - Vital Statistics Act - but probably never enforced ) Getting a SIN is optional when you register a birth, but if they are on Social Assistance, wouldn't the boy have to have a SIN for their income tax returns? Check out https://www.orgforms.gov.on.ca/IBR/f...nRegisterBirth

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      • #4
        good question years.........if they are receiving social assistance or mothers allowance the child has to be registered........otherwise no allowance for child

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        • #5
          Just a thought, but can't you purchase the RSP in your name (and get the tax benefit). You could will the RSP to the child when he turns 21. That way you know the money will go to him.

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          • #6
            oops, meant RESP and age 18

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            • #7
              I know for certain that you can transfer the total or partial amount of an RESP to an RRSP, but I do not think you can do it the other way around.

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              • #8
                Something sounds really fishy about this. Does the mother have the child for sure?? It seems kind of funny that the lawyer handling the adoption would not have sent you something before stating that it was cancelled.

                You are doing everything right so far. It always comes back to who has the more proof to back up their side. One thing I do not agree with, if you have to pay support and want to see the child now then you should be allowed to no matter about the bf. It seems like you want to be an involved father and if you would have known that she still had him then I am thinking you would have still been in the picture. If she wants bf to be the father and deny you contact with your son (unless she has a really good reason but I am not getting that vibe here) then she should not expect money from you.IMHO

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                • #9
                  I have to agree.
                  If she, with the support of the FL court, denies you your basic parental rights (which includes access) then support should not be awarded. A cancellation of parental rights means that the court does NOT view you as the boy’s father, and as such this new BF has taken on that role; IE as "loco parentis" and all that this implies including continued support should this relationship also end.

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                  • #10
                    I agree with the posts here something in not right. In order to get any type of government funding for a child you must provide proof of age and status meaning birth certificate and parentage of the child. Also he is 6 yrs old now and is enrolled in school again proof birth must be provided at the time of registration for school. I agree that you already have a good communication base if ever this ends up back in court. Keep all communications with the mother just in case. As far as the money goes that you are to have put aside I would put it in a high interest savings account in both your names, I am aware that you can do this without a birth certificate for your son so long as he has no access to it at this time. I think all to most will agree that so long as you have prove that you have attempted everything in your power to obey the court order but have not been able to due to lack of cooperation on the part of the mother, it will be up to her to explain to a judge why she refused to cooperate and her excuses given will most certainly no fair well with a judge or those of Service Canada that are providing her social assistance if they are involved in any manner with this issue. I guess the ball is in her court now to produce the documents you need to finish your part.

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                    • #11
                      Thank you for all of your wisdom and kind words of support. There is no doubt in my mind that the birth was registered. I suspect she is simply too lazy to take care of getting the SIN. Who knows.

                      She definately does have the child. That's why my lawyer eventually refunded my money. Apparently some clerical work wasn't done when the adoption was cancelled. That's likely why I wasn't notified. The whole thing was initiated by the social services people, otherwise I probably would never have known.

                      And just to clarify, I don't have to pay support. The RESP is in lieu of support because the judge ruled for no access. The whole "locus parenti" argument was used in the case, which is why the judge ruled the way he did.

                      Thanks again for the insight everyone. I'm waiting for my lawyer to set up a conference call with me and I'll provide updates as I move forward.

                      Comment

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