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just getting started here.. but looking for CANLII references to stop paying CS

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  • just getting started here.. but looking for CANLII references to stop paying CS

    Helping the BF here with assembling a return to court/motion to change.
    He's been paying full CS amounts now for a great many years and has been denied access to see and even communicate to the kids by his ex. Tried arguing with the courts regularly when denied, but his ex creates lies to justify it - It's about $1000 per 'fight' in this battle now and doesn't seem to be going anywhere.


    Anyway.. down to 1 child on CS - but her most recent ex told us that it might be best to do a dna check from what she told him. Ex told the 'presumably' bio father (my BF) that child doesn't want to see him anyway, so stop trying.


    So... he's pretty much at a point to stop trying - especially if this child isn't even his. Current CS cost per month is just short of $1500, so there is about $54,000 left in CS before child turns 18 (probably won't go to post-secondary).

    I guess the questions are:
    1) like mentioned above, looking for some canlii references that might be good to have handy for the lawyer for this particular type of fight (to stop paying cs)

    2) There's already $30k or more spend in lawyers, lost wages and other attempts to see the kids (flights booked for vacations with them, etc., - all to be cancelled) - wondering if costs would outweigh this last part of the battle or if it would be beneficial to pursue a stop to CS - either by child not wanting anything to do with father or because child may not even be "dad's" child.



    Thanks for any initial assistance!

  • #2
    And I bet you would like to get your hands on some of that child support....

    If your BF took an active role in caring for the child then that is what the court considers. There are laws pertaining to this (in loco parentis). Your BF has been paying CS and now is concerned (or is it just you) about whether or not he is the biological father??? That's not going to bode well for him in court.

    Did your BF move away from children or did the mother move the kids?

    If your BF has competent legal counsel he will be hopefully be set straight on this.

    Access is another issue and you shouldn't be looking at punishing child/other parent.
    Last edited by arabian; 05-30-2019, 06:11 PM.

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    • #3
      if he has been the father figure for the child then he will be on the hook so I wouldnt even try to argue that point. Besides did he even have any idea that he may not be the father before? She may just be saying it to hurt him.

      As for the access, how old is the child?

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      • #4
        Your boyfriend is stuck paying child support until the child is 18 at the very least. Most likely longer, because most people go through some form of post secondary education these days.

        Child support and access are two separate issues. You can’t stop paying child support because the other party denies access, and you can’t deny access because the other party stopped paying CS. Your bf needs to be pursuing access more, simple as that.

        Unless the mom hands him a signed consent to change the original CS order on a silver platter, he has to pay.

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        • #5
          No canlii cases on stopping cs because of access. You are out of luck. No stopping cs if he has been paying and the kid is his.

          All that money spent was his waste because he refused to accept he still has to pay. He had a money hungry lawyer who told him what he wanted to hear.

          (And I have experience as my husband pays for kids he has no relationship with so thats free legal advice second hand from a great lawyer.)

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          • #6
            Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
            if he has been the father figure for the child then he will be on the hook so I wouldnt even try to argue that point. Besides did he even have any idea that he may not be the father before? She may just be saying it to hurt him.

            As for the access, how old is the child?

            1) my BF has never had the chance to be the father figure. He did get to seem him a few weekends on rare occasions, but other guys that bio mom moved into the home were the primary father figures.



            2) we kind of questioned if there was something different but never officially questioned it - other kids in the family all have very similar traits to dad (my bf), but this child is quite different - physical and health-wise. it's been in the back of our minds, but again, never officially questioned.



            3) child is turning 16 next month.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by arabian View Post
              And I bet you would like to get your hands on some of that child support....

              If your BF took an active role in caring for the child then that is what the court considers. There are laws pertaining to this (in loco parentis). Your BF has been paying CS and now is concerned (or is it just you) about whether or not he is the biological father??? That's not going to bode well for him in court.

              Did your BF move away from children or did the mother move the kids?

              If your BF has competent legal counsel he will be hopefully be set straight on this.

              Access is another issue and you shouldn't be looking at punishing child/other parent.

              1) lol, no, I don't need $$ from the BF. I actually earn a fair bit more than he does. As a 'family' though, it would be nice to not be wasting this CS amount and seeing it thrown away by bio-mom and her frivilous spending on herself (the usual frustrations of the lack of accountability by CS payments).



              2) we're both wondering who bio-dad is - I replied to another comment there are physical and health traits completely different from my BF and his other children (now over 18) with this woman. He was never given opportunity to be an active parent - they separated as this child was born so "father figures" were the other guys this woman moved into the home.



              3) Everyone has moved since all this. A couple years ago we left (near) Toronto for Calgary - work opportunities and since there was no luck getting anywhere with trying to see the child. Plus BF's mom passed away, so there was no family left in Ontario. Bio mom has since moved (and with the child) with no forwarding info provided (despite a court order) so we actually don't know where she (and child) is anymore.


              4) He's sourcing lawyers back home - trouble is, she had tied up most lawyers in the area due to a couple of other divorces since his.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                No canlii cases on stopping cs because of access. You are out of luck. No stopping cs if he has been paying and the kid is his.

                All that money spent was his waste because he refused to accept he still has to pay. He had a money hungry lawyer who told him what he wanted to hear.

                (And I have experience as my husband pays for kids he has no relationship with so thats free legal advice second hand from a great lawyer.)

                He's not looking to stop CS due to access - the idea would be to request stop CS because 1) he's not the father figure and 2) child has no interest in seeing him - the last guy she got divorced from was more of a father figure and in this child's life 'full time' since shortly after being born.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by mj105 View Post
                  He's not looking to stop CS due to access - the idea would be to request stop CS because 1) he's not the father figure and 2) child has no interest in seeing him - the last guy she got divorced from was more of a father figure and in this child's life 'full time' since shortly after being born.
                  but he's been paying CS for how long?

                  and both of your reasons make no difference. If it's his kid- whether he's a father figure is irrelevant, same with the child's interest in seeing him. He still made him, so he's still financially responsible for him...

                  if your boyfriend has his doubts. why has he never asked for a DNA test before?

                  Sounds like he's tried to cut off CS before. I bet that went a long way to repairing the relationship with his kids.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by mj105 View Post
                    1) lol, no, I don't need $$ from the BF. I actually earn a fair bit more than he does. As a 'family' though, it would be nice to not be wasting this CS amount and seeing it thrown away by bio-mom and her frivilous spending on herself (the usual frustrations of the lack of accountability by CS payments).



                    2) we're both wondering who bio-dad is - I replied to another comment there are physical and health traits completely different from my BF and his other children (now over 18) with this woman. He was never given opportunity to be an active parent - they separated as this child was born so "father figures" were the other guys this woman moved into the home.



                    3) Everyone has moved since all this. A couple years ago we left (near) Toronto for Calgary - work opportunities and since there was no luck getting anywhere with trying to see the child. Plus BF's mom passed away, so there was no family left in Ontario. Bio mom has since moved (and with the child) with no forwarding info provided (despite a court order) so we actually don't know where she (and child) is anymore.


                    4) He's sourcing lawyers back home - trouble is, she had tied up most lawyers in the area due to a couple of other divorces since his.
                    Judgy much?

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                    • #11
                      So kid is 16... you say you doubt he’ll be going to post secondary so in reality dad has 2-3 years left of paying support... take this to court and watch it drag on for that long, especially if trial is required.

                      Dad has been paying support for 16 years... and now all the sudden wants to stop because he *thinks* the child may not be his... probably should have figured that one out 16 years ago. Dad has never had a relationship with this child and you blame mom. What steps did dad take 16 years ago to ensure he had a meaningful relationship? Don’t blame kid for not wanting to see Dad if Dad hasn’t been in his life for 16 years.

                      From one step mom to another... drop it... Dad won’t get out of child support and not should he. My husband pays almost as much as your BF every month and we still provide all clothing at our house, pay for sports and school items, despite only seeing the kids EOW. Don’t get involved with someone with children if you’re not okay with them supporting their children


                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                      • #12
                        None of what you have said is relevant or will sway a judge to stop. Dad has paid for 16 years, he will continue to pay until kid is 18 or not in school.

                        If hes been to court many times over the years then he should know this. Child support is the right of the child.

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