Need urgent advice on how to respond and also how the court will view one parent demanding to revert to EXACT parenting schedule after 3+ years of it evolving to meet the child's needs and the life changes of both parents.
Final order issued 2015 after mediation, joint custody and mom having primary physical. Kid was 2 years old at the time.
Kid is now 5 1/2 and attends all day kindergarten. Over the years, both parties have agreed to change the weekly parenting schedule on an ongoing basis due to child starting school, one parent changing jobs, one parent moving.
Can one party (Mom) unilaterally demand that the status quo that has been in place for over two years be replaced by reverting to the letter of the final order with no notice, especially if it is blatant attempt to mess up the other party's life (Dad) with no regard to how it will affect the child's routine and life.
Do I have to immediately consent and jump to her command?
For reference, I work full time in a management position and have some flexibility in my hours but certainly not enough to go back to the schedule we had for a 2 year old when I had a completely different job that didn't require me to commute. Mom has never held a job since before child was born.
I replied to Mom's "EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY" email received yesterday asking to finish out March Break the way we had both agreed to before reverting but was told she would only follow the "Legally Binding" Final Order.
Here is the really strange part, despite being incredibly disruptive to Kid's life and inconvenient to me. Reverting to the final order increases my time with kid significantly (even with school taken into account). It adds an additional overnight to my parenting time, an overnight that she demanded be stopped when he started school in 2017.
Prior to this, mom has NEVER agreed to anything that would increase my parenting time with kid, in fact would only agree to changes requested by me if it decreased my time or kept it exactly the same.
I would be delighted to go back to the final order because it give me more parenting time but with some reasonable tweaks in pick up and drop off times as well as recognition of time child spends in school.
Am I totally off base in requesting that if we revert we do so with both the child's schedule and mine are taken into account in a way that doesn't impact mom's life in a major way?
For background info, Mom got married last fall and her new husband seems to be the source of several recent and escalating power plays and likely even this new demand.
When he appeared on the scene late last summer he appeared in the doorway with mom (usually standing in front of her) when kid was being picked up and dropped off and after they married, she disappeared and I've been left doing exchanges with her husband for several month. I have politely objected several times in writing and said that it was not appropriate, interfering with coparenting and confusing for kid, all to no effect.
There has NEVER been any drama, harsh words, or conflict during exchanges for the last 5 years. I'm left believing that this is a power play and meant to intimidate. A video camera has also been installed (kid pointed it out to me) pointing to where I park my care for pick ups and drop offs as well as the front porch.
Need advice and any insight to the game that is being played.
Thanks very much,
YD23
Final order issued 2015 after mediation, joint custody and mom having primary physical. Kid was 2 years old at the time.
Kid is now 5 1/2 and attends all day kindergarten. Over the years, both parties have agreed to change the weekly parenting schedule on an ongoing basis due to child starting school, one parent changing jobs, one parent moving.
Can one party (Mom) unilaterally demand that the status quo that has been in place for over two years be replaced by reverting to the letter of the final order with no notice, especially if it is blatant attempt to mess up the other party's life (Dad) with no regard to how it will affect the child's routine and life.
Do I have to immediately consent and jump to her command?
For reference, I work full time in a management position and have some flexibility in my hours but certainly not enough to go back to the schedule we had for a 2 year old when I had a completely different job that didn't require me to commute. Mom has never held a job since before child was born.
I replied to Mom's "EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY" email received yesterday asking to finish out March Break the way we had both agreed to before reverting but was told she would only follow the "Legally Binding" Final Order.
Here is the really strange part, despite being incredibly disruptive to Kid's life and inconvenient to me. Reverting to the final order increases my time with kid significantly (even with school taken into account). It adds an additional overnight to my parenting time, an overnight that she demanded be stopped when he started school in 2017.
Prior to this, mom has NEVER agreed to anything that would increase my parenting time with kid, in fact would only agree to changes requested by me if it decreased my time or kept it exactly the same.
I would be delighted to go back to the final order because it give me more parenting time but with some reasonable tweaks in pick up and drop off times as well as recognition of time child spends in school.
Am I totally off base in requesting that if we revert we do so with both the child's schedule and mine are taken into account in a way that doesn't impact mom's life in a major way?
For background info, Mom got married last fall and her new husband seems to be the source of several recent and escalating power plays and likely even this new demand.
When he appeared on the scene late last summer he appeared in the doorway with mom (usually standing in front of her) when kid was being picked up and dropped off and after they married, she disappeared and I've been left doing exchanges with her husband for several month. I have politely objected several times in writing and said that it was not appropriate, interfering with coparenting and confusing for kid, all to no effect.
There has NEVER been any drama, harsh words, or conflict during exchanges for the last 5 years. I'm left believing that this is a power play and meant to intimidate. A video camera has also been installed (kid pointed it out to me) pointing to where I park my care for pick ups and drop offs as well as the front porch.
Need advice and any insight to the game that is being played.
Thanks very much,
YD23
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