Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Financial Issues

Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 07-23-2020, 10:16 AM
SadAndTired SadAndTired is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,169
SadAndTired is on a distinguished road
Default Hi everyone

It has been a long time since I have been around. So happy to see some familiar profile names! I hope you are all doing well.

I will keep it short because I am at work but looking for legal advice as to how to move forward.

Ex is a high income earner. We have an amended agreement for child support for two girls (18 and 15). Ex was paying $4000 a month child support (less than his income requires but I signed the agreement as I can't see paying lawyers to fight).

Elizabeth entered University away from home in Sept 2019. Ex's lawyer sent me a letter saying Ex had decided he wasn't going to pay any more child support while Elizabeth was in school. From Sept to April he paid no child support for her but did pay his percentage of all uni costs.

When she returned home in April due to Covid, he "decided" that $1,000 a month was enough and he would pay no more for Elizabeth. (He still pays for 15 year old child.)

All of this "deciding" is because he is currently separating from wife number two and is likely paying high child/spousal support for his 5 year old twins now too.

So my question is, can he simply decide not to pay? Do we need an amended agreement? I have tried to talk to him about it but he simply says "I sent you a letter telling you what I am going to do."

How do I move forward if I choose to? If I wanted to be an asshole, could I simply file my amended agreement with FRO and collect his $16,000 in arrears? Do I file something with the court to indicate contempt? Elizabeth is not living in the dorm until atleast next year. The costs of having her at home are no different than prior to going to university and in fact his income is higher. There has been no amended order and Ex won't discuss one.

Thanks for the legal advice!

Rebecca.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 07-23-2020, 10:34 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 5,354
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

You should file it with FRO.

First though, calculate what he was supposed to be paying based on his income. If he hasnt provided you income disclosure, look at his annual increases from before and calculate those in your support amounts. Use the tables for one child and two children. He should be paying support for may to september for kid 1.

Make sure too that you have calculated his share of expenses properly too.

Take all of this info, send him an email advising that he is behind in support and does not get to dictate what his relevant table support is for his children. Give him 48 hours to respond with a plan to pay his arrears and if he doesnt file with the court for an updated support amount and get it going.

Like I said at the start, also file with FRO. That will motivate him. Divorcing his second wife is not his oldest two childrens problem.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 07-23-2020, 10:38 AM
Kinso Kinso is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 252
Kinso is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
looking for legal advice
Then hire a lawyer. This forum is legal information only, which may or may not be applicable you.

What's the difference? A lawyer can ask you questions and gather more information that may be relevant to the advice provided. New facts may change the advice. Anyone on this forum is basing comments solely on what you've said, which may not be the whole picture. Also, not everyone on this forum knows what they're talking about (which doesn't stop them from acting like they do).

Quote:
So my question is, can he simply decide not to pay? Do we need an amended agreement? I have tried to talk to him about it but he simply says "I sent you a letter telling you what I am going to do."
One can file with FRO to enforce the agreement. People cannot be forced to come to the table and negotiate if they don't want to. If there's no enforcement of the agreement, then yes he can 'decide not to pay'. Not that it's right, but there are no consequences without enforcement.

Quote:
Thanks for the legal advice!
Not legal advice .
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 07-23-2020, 11:07 AM
SadAndTired SadAndTired is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,169
SadAndTired is on a distinguished road
Default

Hi Rockscan

I am nervous to file it with FRO due to the horror stories of delays. If my spousal is also on the same order, does FRO collect it all?

Kinso

I was a member here for many years a long while ago. I just worded it wrong. I know this isn't "legal" advice. I was hopeful to avoid a discussion about whether or not his support amounts are appropriate. I didn't want to get into moral/ethical discussions and wanted to focus on the legal aspects of the situation. With a high income earner, people like to debate how much support is too much.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 07-23-2020, 11:14 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 5,354
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

You wont know until you try. If it is in your order then they can enforce it. The delay is 3-5 months and he doesnt need to know until he gets the form. My husbands was registered in February and he got the letter in June.

At this point he can stop paying all together and not give a crap. What happens if his new ex decides to really hammer him and he cant pay you both and a lawyer? I know that sounds cruel but your kids are not responsible for his fuck ups.

You can also self rep in this case as it is straightforward with him not paying. File with FRO, put together the court docs, let him know you plan to file if he refuses to pay the ordered amount and make him an offer to settle.

Kinso, lets unclench a bit here. S&T has been on the forum for years and her case is pretty straightforward with unpaid support amounts. Almost everyone knows this isnt legal advice and no one on her presumes to be a lawyer.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 07-23-2020, 11:23 AM
arabian's Avatar
arabian arabian is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 10,695
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Hi SadandTired!

Go directly to FRO... do not pass Go.

Your ex is certainly entitled to his "feelings" that he doesn't think he should have to pay you. That's laughable.

Let the piece of shit file a motion and explain his position to the judge. I have a feeling that you will end up being awarded much more than you are currently receiving... he knows this and is just trying to fuck with you.

When he starts the process in court he will have to complete financial questionnaire. Judge's aren't stupid and can easily see when they aren't completed in full.

Remember, you and your children are #1 on the pecking order list. He can go and have dozens of children... you will always be #1.

Good luck.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 07-23-2020, 12:39 PM
Kinso Kinso is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 252
Kinso is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Kinso, lets unclench a bit here. S&T has been on the forum for years and her case is pretty straightforward with unpaid support amounts. Almost everyone knows this isnt legal advice and no one on her presumes to be a lawyer.
I'm equally concerned for the poster as well as the people who read but never point. Even if OP wouldn't make that error, others might. There is a reason lawyers write 'this isn't legal advice' over and over and over until they're sick.

Otherwise it's a fair point, I'll acknowledge to being over the mark on the 'legal advice' terminology. Occupational hazard.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 07-23-2020, 01:14 PM
Mom2414 Mom2414 is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 28
Mom2414 is on a distinguished road
Default

$1000 for the almost adult child + $x for the 15 year old + spousal! Geesh! Thats more than I pull in monthly working a 44 hour week!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 07-23-2020, 01:30 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 5,354
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2414 View Post
$1000 for the almost adult child + $x for the 15 year old + spousal! Geesh! Thats more than I pull in monthly working a 44 hour week!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

There are a few long term members who have ex-husbands that make over $150,000. And these members helped their husbands build their career before they decided to divorcw. I have zero sympathy for parents who earn big six figures and decide they shouldnt have to pay for their kids.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 07-23-2020, 01:58 PM
SadAndTired SadAndTired is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,169
SadAndTired is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2414 View Post
$1000 for the almost adult child + $x for the 15 year old + spousal! Geesh! Thats more than I pull in monthly working a 44 hour week!!!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Yes Mom2414. But as Rockscan said, it is a long, ridiculous story. No one cares that I accept less support than I could have gotten if I had raked him over the coals. No one realizes the career and sacrifices I made so that "our" future could be bright and then he left... No one realizes he makes $540,000 a year and yet claims poverty. Take it up with my Ex because I have moved on from talking about it at length. He was glad to take the deal I offered.

Kinso, that actually took shorter than expected. This is what I meant about unhelpful posts that are not focused on the actual legal issues.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:24 AM.