Originally posted by Janus
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Originally posted by youngdad91 View Post
Litigation, money, and putting a bad name on this person is not the way to go at this. Invest your money in an experienced therapist and you will feel much better. It will be much cheaper too and leave you some money for a nice vacation to top it up.
There are also probably people in worst position than you. How do you think Rape victims who are not able to prove rape feel? They can't really do much legally. But they can have counselling to help them move on.
Anyways- Manipulated, I get where you're coming from. I've done all the legal research on torts and claims in Canada stemming from DV. I agree that putting a bad name to the person won't help your daughter. Therapy first, sue later. I'm a victim too. And I am still thinking about pursuing damages against my ex- the difference is that I think when you bring a tort claim- you HAVE to show some kind of damages. Only in the most extreme cases do the courts order punitive damages. And even then, they're mostly symbolic and the quantum is small (<$10k). For me, I have tangible damages that I would like to get back. HOWEVER, given that I don't' actually want my ex to lose his mind again and do something against our daughter or me...I will likely drop it.
Like a lot of posters said here- think HARD about what you're trying to accomplish. Tell your daughter to think about what she wants. Hatred and revenge are real and (I think?) legitimate feelings in these cases...but to what end? what does it accomplish. On the other hard- sometimes it's not about the fight but shining the light on what she's been through. But is making a claim in Tort really the right way to go about doing that?
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So, here we are. To all the naysayers and those who advised to drop the case, my daughter finally got her say in court after 9 years. We just finished an 8 day trial, where every time the opposition tried to get the tort claim severed it went through. It is extremely important for all those suffering from domestic violence to try and bring your abusers to justice. Hopefully my daughter's case will help others, but we have yet to wait for the decision which may take a few months. We are hoping the new case Ahluwalia v. Ahluwalia from Brampton will have some bearing on this case; however, the judge said it was on appeal and would have to take it under consideration. We'll see. My daughter was able to have over 50 exhibits, 4 witnesses including 2 expert witnesses, and her 4-day testimony. She also had approximately 2000 voice messages and hundreds of text messages, most of which were not able to be used due to time constraints. Her 26-page victim impact statement from the criminal case was also taken into evidence.
I guess what I would like to say is that any who find themselves victims of domestic violence, document, document, document as much as you can. Too many are discouraged from speaking out and pursuing their legal rights. It is possible to find a lawyer who will fight for your rights. Never give up. Once the judge makes her final decision I will post again, good or bad, fair or unfair.
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While I don't want to take away from your daughter's ordeal, I'm curious if this was actually necessary or even if you crowing about getting to this point is worth it. You probably spent a large sum of money to get to this point and there may be no win in it. It sounds like the judge wasn't interested in the case you presented and that perhaps it was a losing effort. You spoke about justice for your daughter but truly having her ex jailed was in fact justice as he paid for the crimes he was accused of as far as society is concerned. There are plenty of women out there who never even had that. And more who have lost their lives.
What your daughter needs is to get some therapy and move on with her life. Constantly fighting is a losing battle and only serves to extend the suffering she experienced. If she wins then good for her. If she loses, I hope you don't continue to push her on in this matter.
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Originally posted by Manipulated View PostSo, here we are. To all the naysayers and those who advised to drop the case, my daughter finally got her say in court after 9 years. We just finished an 8 day trial, where every time the opposition tried to get the tort claim severed it went through. It is extremely important for all those suffering from domestic violence to try and bring your abusers to justice. Hopefully my daughter's case will help others, but we have yet to wait for the decision which may take a few months. We are hoping the new case Ahluwalia v. Ahluwalia from Brampton will have some bearing on this case; however, the judge said it was on appeal and would have to take it under consideration. We'll see. My daughter was able to have over 50 exhibits, 4 witnesses including 2 expert witnesses, and her 4-day testimony. She also had approximately 2000 voice messages and hundreds of text messages, most of which were not able to be used due to time constraints. Her 26-page victim impact statement from the criminal case was also taken into evidence.
I guess what I would like to say is that any who find themselves victims of domestic violence, document, document, document as much as you can. Too many are discouraged from speaking out and pursuing their legal rights. It is possible to find a lawyer who will fight for your rights. Never give up. Once the judge makes her final decision I will post again, good or bad, fair or unfair.
Does your daughter have to co-parent with her ex?
How were they trying to get the tort claim severed? What were the claims?
Ahluwalia v. Ahluwalia *IS* a game changer. BUT it hasn't been tested yet. It will depend on what the court of appeal says. There's pros and cons to attaching a tort to family law. But my personal opinion is that they should be separated.
Either way- I hope your daughter finds peace in the outcome.
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iona6656...thank you for your kind response. I think what upsets me most about the thread I began is that rather than opinions on how this case should be handled, I was only asking for advice on how to find a lawyer that would handle this case. Nobody gave me that advice, but after contacting at least a dozen lawyers my daughter was able to find someone who was happy to take the case, and with no fewer than 19 adjournments on the part of the ex, it finally went to trial after almost 9 years. The tort was allowed; however, I think most are missing the point of the Ahluwalia case, or so it seems to me. Yes, it's true that there is a lot of case law on tort in family law, but the difference in the Ahluwalia case is that “family violence” as part of the new guidelines under the divorce act now allows for support claims where the litigant may not otherwise be entitled.
Moreover, the Divorce Act defines “family violence” expansively to include conduct that goes beyond physical assaults:
family violence means any conduct, whether or not the conduct constitutes a criminal offence, by a family member towards another family member, that is violent or threatening or that constitutes a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour or that causes that other family member to fear for their own safety or for that of another person — and in the case of a child, the direct or indirect exposure to such conduct — and includes
(a) physical abuse, including forced confinement but excluding the use of reasonable force to protect themselves or another person;
(b) sexual abuse;
(c) threats to kill or cause bodily harm to any person;
(d) harassment, including stalking;
(e) the failure to provide the necessaries of life;
(f) psychological abuse;
(g) financial abuse;
(h) threats to kill or harm an animal or damage property; and
(i) the killing or harming of an animal or the damaging of property.
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