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  • #16
    The cancellation fee is to discourage appointment abuse. Simply explain to the dentist the nature of the screw up, promise it will not happen again and state the $50 bucks is an important amount of money in your monthly budget. They will waive the fee.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by staysingle View Post
      Last I heard dentists earn $250k+ a year or more!
      That number is on the low side. I have a dentist client with a multi-million dollar over 10,000 square foot home...

      A dentist can make anywhere from $500k+ a year if they are near competent. The government hasn't regulated their fees and salary like medical doctors.

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      • #18
        Thanks for the responses and I hear you. I will suggest on splitting the fee ($50 but times 3 kids which totals $150).

        On a side comment, many of you have suggested that I take the kids to appointments only on my days in order to avoid the conflict. That is what I have been trying to do - in 10 months he has not been to 1 appointment for any of the 3 kids. I even took the day off work and went to a specialist appointment booked on his custodial day that he said he could not go to and it could not been re-booked.

        My major issue with the suggestion is: 3 kids - dentists, eye doctor, regular doctor = 9 to 12 appointments per year (although I do try to coordinate). Plus, one child has health issues and sees a specialist - 3 more appointments per year. This year - son broke an arm which meant 4 more appointments and daughter broke her wrist which I have been to 3 appointments in last 2 weeks about (issues with the healing and now talk about surgery).

        Do the math - I have taken the kids to over 17 appointments in 10 months which have equaled 13 days that I have had to take vacation time off work - some have been full days and some have been half days totaling 9 days off work. We have 50/50 custody, for me to take 9 vacation days in less than a year with him not one and only working part time - does not seem fair to me. Once I factor in unexpected days off for Snow Days and when the kids are sick, I have no vacation time left to take even a long weekend once in a while.

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        • #19
          I feel for you... this crap about booking things only on your time.. sometimes that doesn't work and what is wrong with the other parent stepping it up and offering to also take kids to appointments and such. It is frustrating! If you were together, I am sure you would both be involved in getting children to these types of things. Everyone has a schedule - however we need to make time and arrangments where our children are concerned. I get frustrated when I read post replies that say you need to communicate more with the ex.. sometimes (probably more than not) it is very ard to do that. If people were able to communicate better then more than half of us wouldnt even be on a site like this... (just my 2 cents there)
          You did learn a lesson, it sucks how you have learned it... I would speak with the office and plead your case if you will. $150 is not pocket change for most.. maybe they will waive it. If not I would explain that to them that you will be making small payments inorder to clear the bill.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by inseperationhell View Post
            Thanks for the responses and I hear you. I will suggest on splitting the fee ($50 but times 3 kids which totals $150).

            On a side comment, many of you have suggested that I take the kids to appointments only on my days in order to avoid the conflict. That is what I have been trying to do - in 10 months he has not been to 1 appointment for any of the 3 kids. I even took the day off work and went to a specialist appointment booked on his custodial day that he said he could not go to and it could not been re-booked.

            My major issue with the suggestion is: 3 kids - dentists, eye doctor, regular doctor = 9 to 12 appointments per year (although I do try to coordinate). Plus, one child has health issues and sees a specialist - 3 more appointments per year. This year - son broke an arm which meant 4 more appointments and daughter broke her wrist which I have been to 3 appointments in last 2 weeks about (issues with the healing and now talk about surgery).

            Do the math - I have taken the kids to over 17 appointments in 10 months which have equaled 13 days that I have had to take vacation time off work - some have been full days and some have been half days totaling 9 days off work. We have 50/50 custody, for me to take 9 vacation days in less than a year with him not one and only working part time - does not seem fair to me. Once I factor in unexpected days off for Snow Days and when the kids are sick, I have no vacation time left to take even a long weekend once in a while.
            I totally agree with you, there is no reason that the father cannot take the kids to some of these appointments. I have seen it on here where CP wanted to keep the kids home from access when they are sick and were told that the fathers are quite capable of looking after their sick kids and that they had to go (i agree by the way) Is this any different then that??? Why should all the appointments be on your time and only your time. If he has 50/50 custody then he should step up to the plate and do his 50% of the appointments.

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            • #21
              Here is a suggestion...
              Laugh about the screw up with your ex, and joke about how you and him need to work on communication. Just say "Let's split the cost for these missed appointments" and then suggest you 'break' up the appointments.

              Perhaps something like this;

              Parent A is responsible for 3 dentist appts, and 3 eye doctor
              appointments, and the 3 specialist appointments for the year (9 appts)
              and Parent A books when it is convenient for them.

              Parent B is responsible for covering the the regular doctor appointments
              (9-12/year) and will book when it is convenient for them.

              Both parents out of courtesy will let the other know when they are (perhaps use a shared calendar through google or yahoo), and keep email trails of appointments.

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              • #22
                it would be best if he could step up and start taking them to appointments as well, but that isnt always going to work. I think he may need to see just how many appointments the kids have.. so make a list (Excel files are excellent for this) showing each kid, and each appointment and list every appointment date for the past year. Show him how often you are having to take time off.
                Unfortunately a lot of professionals do not provide after hours service. One of the sticking points that I use to choose which professional to use is to make sure they have evenings or saturdays, just so I dont have to take time off for a regular appointment. If more of them were open the hours that the rest of us could actually GO to appointments, this overbooking etc wouldn't happen as often.

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                • #23
                  yes I can see how this would be an irritating thing if the other side is abusing it. And in all honesty, alot of men will abuse this side of things.

                  Get a google calender that can be shared. Book appt's on it. If he cares he'll do it. If he's an ass, he won't. In the latter case, I don't see a remedy for you except for the right to complain about it.

                  Comment


                  • #24
                    Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
                    yes I can see how this would be an irritating thing if the other side is abusing it. And in all honesty, alot of men will abuse this side of things.

                    Get a google calender that can be shared. Book appt's on it. If he cares he'll do it. If he's an ass, he won't. In the latter case, I don't see a remedy for you except for the right to complain about it.
                    I don't believe its just men... and saying that a lot of men do it may be a slap in the face to some of the men here, who in fact have ex wives that do not partake in such events...

                    Needless to say...it happens no matter what sex you/they are... its all about the maturity level of the other parent...not the gender

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                    • #25
                      very true. My bf handles all of his daughters appointments.

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                      • #26
                        Timely article:

                        Top dentists gross $1M a year on reserves

                        Purely FYI.

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                        • #27
                          The way I see it is that he did not refuse to take them to the dentist. He said it was that time that didn't work for him. He said he will reschedule, but didn't. So don't hesitate to break up appointments evenly or so with him. He probably doesn't mind doing it. BUT, do not rely on him to cancel, schedule or reschedule any appointments. My advice:
                          Before booking an appointment, ask him to provide days when he would be available. When you booking it you will have a more or less clear schedule of days available between you and him and then see when the dentist/specialist/etc. has an opening.
                          As for paying the fee for canceling the appointments without proper notice..... I am 99.9999999% sure that if you explain your situation and promise that you will do your best to prevent this from happening, they will waive the fee. speak to the receptionist first, and if she/he does not waive it, speak with the dentist directly. Or you could speak to the dentist right away and forgo the receptionist, because they might be bound by the rules that the Dentist has set. The fee is just to discourage the abuse of appointments, but if they see that you care and are responsible, they will do it. Good luck

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