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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 08-20-2008, 03:35 PM
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Default Helping a friend

Hi there Jo here, I'm helping a friend get a divorce, she has only been married for about a year and 3-4 months and separated for a few months now. Her and her soon to be ex are very young she is still attending college and he was in the army until he left.

She has no money for a lawyer and he wants to squeeze every penny and everything he ever gave her during the marriage saying it's all his, which I know is all BS. He tried intimidating her into giving him everything including about $12,000.00. So I stepped in to try and work out a agreement but he's now stone walling me.

My main question is does anyone know does it cost anything to just pick up the divorce papers before filling them and how much it does cost in Ottawa to file a divorce.

I am not a lawyer obviously nor am I a part of any legal firm, I just know the law in this situation but since she has no money right now, I need to know the basics of costs.

Thank you for your help.
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Old 08-21-2008, 07:48 AM
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The forms to commence the divorce process are free and you can get them at your local court house along with a wealth of help and information on the process. They will tell you jow to start, what forms to use, and what the steps are.

I started the divoprce process myself, but when my ex got ugly I had no choice but to involve a lawyer. As a student she may qualify for legal aid, she should look into that.

She is entitled to half of the assets owned and is responsible for half the debt. Since this is a relatively sdhort marriage, she may have a difficult time claims any SS. If she is like me I did not ask for Spousal support, but I did have kids.
I am speculating that there are no children as she sounds too younge.


Here is a link to all the forms for family law,

http://www.ontariocourtforms.on.ca/english/family/

And here is a link to some steps on divorce in Cananda,(ontario).

http://www.candivorce.ca/steps.htm

On this page there is a link to setting up a seperation agreement and dealing with the assets etc.

This site is also a wealth of information.
Best of luck.
FL
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Old 08-21-2008, 08:05 AM
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The main part I needed to know is that the forms are free, and I'll talk to them at the court to see what other help they can offer her.

As well, no kids, no solid monetary value, just a laptop, cell and some other crap along with the ring, as well as about $12,000.00 that she used for her education. There are no nor were there houses, apartments or cars bought or rented with the exception of a few hotel rooms during the marriage. They never officially lived together for longer then a few days in a hotel room. He was in a section of the US military until he deserted when she told him it was over.

I read about half a dozen law books my biggest concern was the cost of obtaining the papers for her because it's hard to find anywhere that tells you the specific process just a bunch of do this do that with no real detail on how to.

She wants nothing other then a divorce out of him and to move on with her life he's just being a pain, when there is no law on his side.

Also I don't think there will be a need for a lawyer but I'll look into it, the way I see it I can represent her and if the judge does not side with that I will still be able to assist her.

Thank you for your help greatly appreciated.
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Old 08-21-2008, 10:41 AM
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If the $12,000 if from financial assistance (OSAP) or from loans/grants etc, he has no entitlement to the amount even if it was deposited into a joint account.
These funds would be considered loaned to her for the purpose of educational costs.
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Old 08-21-2008, 01:45 PM
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It was money he got paid from the military, that he transferred from his account to their joint account and loaned her, but the thing is since he married her he got extra money from the military, I they call spousal allowance or support or something like that and in the course of their marriage the best I could find (since he hasn't voluntarily give the numbers I have to wait till I can request them trough the courts to get the real numbers) just under $10.000.00 extra because he was married so I figure it basically it approximately evens things out. But yeah I got all the other details figured out, now she is just waiting to get some money so she can file the papers.

Again thank you for your help.
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Old 08-21-2008, 02:24 PM
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OK, he was given $12,000 by the military which she is in possession of, and then an additional amount was given to him after they the military was made aware of the marriage.

If this issue was to go to court, the judge would see the two amounts as income on his part and base any likelihood of spousal support on that amount plus any regular pay amount.

I don't see this as a gift type payment that could be deemed an asset worthy of splitting, if this was the case she basically received $2,000 more then he did. On the other hand there is the issue of, "there would not have been any money had he not gotten married". This sounds like a sticky issue because it is money given to him by his "employer" and should be seen as income not an asset to be split.

Sorry for sounding confused.
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Old 08-21-2008, 02:53 PM
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I think you misunderstood a little. The money was lent during the marriage not before, and earned income earned during a marriage which increases the net value of either spouse is subject to division if in accounts, which majority of his money is. He earned well over $60,000.00 with at least $40,000.00 - $50,000.00 going in to his accounts. Her net worth doesn't peek $2,000.00 and that's really pushing it. So technically she could get a lot of money out of him but she doesn't want anything more to do with him just to end it.

Plus he has no case, no judge will tell a wife who's net worth is drastically less the her husbands to pay the husband over $10,000. It's basically trying to get blood from a stone.
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Old 08-21-2008, 03:01 PM
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Oh I forgot the extra money he got wasn't a lump sum, it was a addition of several hundred dollars extra to his regular pay. As well the money is gone she used it to pay for school. It's hard to explain because there are a lot of details but I have evidence that he offered to buy things for her and voluntarily bought her things and lent her money. (she does have a minor debt on his credit card about $300.00 and will pay that in full herself but other then that there is no debt in the marriage) Which wasn't coursed out of him by any means of manipulation. I checked laws and case law's and can't find a single shred of evidence that any part of the law is on his side. Plus a lawyer was consulted he basically laughed when the situation was explained to him.
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Old 08-25-2008, 11:00 AM
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I thought the money was lump sum payments for going from single to married.
Anything he gained while married is, like you said, fair game for separation should she so desire an asset split when she seeks a divorce.

If she chooses she can request spousal support, but since she used his income to pay bills, and pay for her school and he now wants something back, I do not think that a judge will grant it. It appears they acted as a couple, IE she went to school to better her life, and if he didn't agree to it, I'm sure she would have sought loans to cover it instead of using his income.

So I do not think he has a case.
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Old 08-25-2008, 11:37 AM
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No he deserted the US military once she told him it was over, so right not he is wanted by the US government for treason. The money was completely obtained during the marriage ON TOP of his regular salary (which is subject to equal or fair division). As well yes she attended school to better her self to gain a more promising future, and he voluntarily supported her there was no arm twisting in any way, and there is evidence that the things he bought and now claims are his were bought for her specifically. So yeah I think we have a sold case the only problem now is finding the sob.
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