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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law > Common Law Issues

Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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  #11  
Old 02-16-2013, 04:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
I'm with everybody else on this one. She was employed before you met her, maintained the same job during your relationship, and still has it, even past her diagnosis. The relationship did not harm her career, and her health does not prevent her from continuing her career. She has very little entitlement to spousal support. Your default position should be that no spousal support is required of you. Paying something in the interim just undermines that position.

She has benefited from your income during the relationship, while you benefited from her rent-free house. Quite fair to part ways with nothing more exchanged. Take half the furniture you bought and leave.

As for CS, if you feel parental towards her daughter, it's appropriate to pay some, as well as to have continued contact with the kid. Poor kid losing another father figure just because her mother broke up again! But it's not your problem that her biological father is a deadbeat. Maybe pay half your table amount as some sort of offset, if you don't know what his amount would be to subtract from yours as your lawyer suggests.

And yeah, never hurts to be thrifty till you have either an agreement or a court order, so that you can afford any arrears. But keep it yourself just in case you need it, don't give it to her now to prevent possible arrears. Because if you don't end up paying SS, you will have a very hard time getting money back from her. Then YOU can be the one dragging things out and create a status quo of her demonstrating she doesn't need the money.
Hey thanks everyone!! Definetly food for thought!! We have a case conference on the 11th..I'll bring these points up aggressively with my lawyer and take it from there.

I'm sure they'll be more mediation after th cc!!
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  #12  
Old 02-18-2013, 11:20 AM
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You more than likely won't get jack squat accomplished at the CC. You can ONLY get orders done "on consent", meaning the other side has to pull their head out of their butts and agree.

Sounds like the chances of that happening are minimal.
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  #13  
Old 02-18-2013, 03:41 PM
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Originally Posted by NBDad View Post
You more than likely won't get jack squat accomplished at the CC. You can ONLY get orders done "on consent", meaning the other side has to pull their head out of their butts and agree.

Sounds like the chances of that happening are minimal.
Ok..thanks for the heads up NBDad..wasn't really quite sure what to expect...my lawyer gave me a quick rundown and basically said the same thing.

I don't expect anything to be resolved after the cc, I'm dealing with the stbx and her lawyer being EXCEPTIONALLY stubborn..

I mean me having VERY LITTLE experience with family law, when I heard opposing counsels demands I near laughed in her face!!
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  #14  
Old 02-18-2013, 09:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Rioe View Post
As for CS, if you feel parental towards her daughter, it's appropriate to pay some
Absolutely not. If you feel parental, then buy things for her daughter yourself. If you hand cash over to her mother, she can spend it on lube for nightly orgies for all you know. At least if you spend the money on the daughter directly, you know that it is being used appropriately.

There is nothing noble or parental about supporting the mother.
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
Absolutely not. If you feel parental, then buy things for her daughter yourself. If you hand cash over to her mother, she can spend it on lube for nightly orgies for all you know. At least if you spend the money on the daughter directly, you know that it is being used appropriately.

There is nothing noble or parental about supporting the mother.
Lol..Janus!! Thanks for that picture

I understand what ur saying though and ur absolutely correct!!
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  #16  
Old 02-21-2013, 02:42 PM
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In that case....offer to toss it into an RESP. That way momster can't get her hands on it, AND it has direct and long term benefit to the kidlet.
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Old 02-21-2013, 03:43 PM
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This is a typical example of how useless 4-way meetings can be. All that is accomplished is everyone gets pissed off at each other and logic disappears.

Do not agree to SS at this time. Request she go and get another medical opinion. I doubt a doctor will write that she is incapable of working. Many people support themselves with this disease.

I would fight this whole thing quite vigorously. Because the bio dad is a deadbeat shouldn't be your problem. I'd be the biggest prick you can be and then, months down the road make an offer. I think at this point it's just muscle flexing on the part of the lawyers. Recognize it for what it is.

RESP is a very good thing to offer. Stay strong.
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  #18  
Old 02-22-2013, 04:57 PM
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well, the latest??..the stbx's lawyer faxed my lawyer an offer to settle...basically the EXACT same thing we discussed at the 4 way weeks ago where her and her lawyer walked out of the conference room because my lawyer and I wouldn't agree to full cs for her child and UNLIMITED spousal for her!!

my lawyer sugested I read it over anyways..the OTS states in opening letter that I have until the 8th to reply (case conference is on the 11th) and if I decline, I'll be subject to paying HER bill (stbx's lawyer) also (I know...it's a common threat).

My lawyer seems confident if it goes to CC, it'll benefit me immensely. I'm going to agree wholeheartedly...is part of the reason I hired a lawyer, correct??

can anyone here in this thread give me a quick rundown on what to expect during the CC??..do both lawyers get a chance to state their opinions of their clients??
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  #19  
Old 02-22-2013, 07:42 PM
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Usually the "applicant" speaks first, then the "respondent". If there is agreement on any issues the judge can make orders. Otherwise it moved forward.

Counter with a reasonable offer to settle without prejudice. If the continue to push, make sure you request costs as well. Make sure you and your lawyer are on the same page so he doesn't agree to things without your consent.
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  #20  
Old 02-22-2013, 08:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NBDad View Post
Usually the "applicant" speaks first, then the "respondent". If there is agreement on any issues the judge can make orders. Otherwise it moved forward.

Counter with a reasonable offer to settle without prejudice. If the continue to push, make sure you request costs as well. Make sure you and your lawyer are on the same page so he doesn't agree to things without your consent.
Thanks NBdad..yea the lawyer and I are on the same page..again as I mentioned my lawyer doesn't agree with the full cs (chase after bio dad also..he's on fro as it is) and a limited ss (I was common law for 11 years, no need for unlimited ss!! That's insane)

The lawyer did a good job replying to the applicant right after I got served!! My responses to the applicants "demands" were well thought out!!
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