Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law

Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 10-05-2021, 06:30 PM
Diverged Diverged is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 20
Diverged is on a distinguished road
Default Contested divorce taking forever

My partner has been trying to get a divorce for a couple of years now and it's been one thing after another. First, there was a huge mixup with his lawyers office and the divorce paperwork. Eventually, his ex got served divorce papers. She finally responded, but she contested the divorce. It's a long story, but she was going to g after back child support. His ex wanted to finalize their separation agreement and add some updates. They had to work through post secondary and change a few other minor items. My partner agreed to all this and to pay the back support.

They worked it out so he is contributing a lump sum to the kids Resp rather than paying her the back support directly. However, this process has stopped and its been a few months with no word.

My partner emailed his lawyer a week ago, no response yet. He's going to try calling. Now that they've worked through the details, isn't it logical for her to sign the divorce papers?

When my partner received a letter from his exs lawyer it stated that they recieved the divorce application but there were some items to work through, and she wanted to work through the items "in order to avoid a contested divorce". Then a couple of lawyer letters later and she is asking for back support.

Is there a quick easy way for my partner to get this divorce paper work signed? At some point shouldnt she have to sign the papers?! Is there something he can do to force her hand at this? How does this work?? He should get his lawyer to send her a letter requesting the divorce be signed now that they've worked out everything?
They still don't have their finalized separation agreement. Can his ex use this fact as leverage to not have to sign the divorce papers??
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 10-05-2021, 06:32 PM
Diverged Diverged is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 20
Diverged is on a distinguished road
Default

To clarify she is taking her sweet time responding about the details of the separation agreement even though my partner had responded that he agreed with the changes . So she can just take forever getting back about all of this and updating the agreement and all the while my ex doesn't get his divorce papers signed?
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-05-2021, 09:49 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,643
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

I believe he can file a motion. Not sure which one but his lawyer should know. My husband had to do this as his ex wouldnt budge. The judge told her if she didnt finish the agreement the judge would order her to pay more than my husband had agreed to. She moved super quick after that.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-01-2021, 04:59 PM
Diverged Diverged is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 20
Diverged is on a distinguished road
Default

So my partners lawyer had responded to his exs lawyer that he agreed and will put the lump sum back support payment into an RESP for the kids and he also said should the kids not go to college the money goes directly back to my partner. (I don't think my partner told him to word it this way...). I think, unlike my lawyer his lawyer just responds how he sees fit without letting my partner know what he'll be saying to them. Well my partner received a quite snarky reply back from their lawyer which said they don't agree to that at all and that their offer of the RESP payment is off the table all together and they now just want the money. I guess that's all fine and dandy.. But my partner still doesn't have his divorce signed... After over 2 years after having served her with divorce papers...

On top of this his kids 15/16 have cut off contact with him recently for some reasons, alienation, they don't like that we have rules here and they run wild at their mothers with no rules or any kind of discipline. They have huge anger and behavioral issues. So he's paying full child support to a woman that ran off to a city over an hour away without his consent which altered their custody arrangement from 50 50 to EOWE..... And now his kids refuse to come to our house.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-01-2021, 05:59 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,643
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diverged View Post
So my partners lawyer had responded to his exs lawyer that he agreed and will put the lump sum back support payment into an RESP for the kids and he also said should the kids not go to college the money goes directly back to my partner. (I don't think my partner told him to word it this way...). I think, unlike my lawyer his lawyer just responds how he sees fit without letting my partner know what he'll be saying to them. Well my partner received a quite snarky reply back from their lawyer which said they don't agree to that at all and that their offer of the RESP payment is off the table all together and they now just want the money. I guess that's all fine and dandy.. But my partner still doesn't have his divorce signed... After over 2 years after having served her with divorce papers...
So pay the back support. He owes it and should pay it.

Quote:
On top of this his kids 15/16 have cut off contact with him recently for some reasons, alienation, they don't like that we have rules here and they run wild at their mothers with no rules or any kind of discipline. They have huge anger and behavioral issues. So he's paying full child support to a woman that ran off to a city over an hour away without his consent which altered their custody arrangement from 50 50 to EOWE..... And now his kids refuse to come to our house.
Thats not alienation, its bad behaviour. Yes it sucks to have to pay support but the mechanism for that was when she moved. He should have filed an emergency motion.

All of this is water under the bridge. He needs to pay what he owes and get it done. If she continues to pull shit then he needs to file a motion to get it done. All of this is on consent and if she wont agree then he needs a judge. No more letters or emails, a motion.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 11-04-2021, 05:12 PM
Diverged Diverged is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 20
Diverged is on a distinguished road
Default

He'll get the back support paid and hopefully this will get that ball rolling and divorce finalized.

Regarding the alienation, there has actually been quite a bit on her part. She's made ongoing disparaging remarks about their dad through the years, moved out of the city purposefully and has tried to turn the kids against their father through various means. For example she certainly doesn't encourage their relationship at all and speaks negatively about him frequently. And the most recent the kid has started to run away and they call their mother an hour away and she comes to pick them up. She enables this.

I know alienation isn't mentioned much at all on here, and I'm guessing it's darn near impossible to prove in court.

My partners kids screamed at us the other night and their mom drove to pick them up, on their dads custody time. They no longer want to come here and I'm positive it's because their mom has alienated them against us and our house here... But I think that's impossible to prove in court.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 11-04-2021, 05:14 PM
Diverged Diverged is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 20
Diverged is on a distinguished road
Default

Kind of off topic from my thread but I'd be interested in knowing people's thoughts on alienation and the court system.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 11-04-2021, 07:13 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,643
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default Contested divorce taking forever

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diverged View Post
Kind of off topic from my thread but I'd be interested in knowing people's thoughts on alienation and the court system.

Do a search. Its been discussed.


Also, its not alienation. Its bad kids. Your partner should have filed a motion to bring the kids back.

Last edited by rockscan; 11-04-2021 at 07:15 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 11-05-2021, 05:28 AM
Diverged Diverged is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2021
Posts: 20
Diverged is on a distinguished road
Default

I take that response as being alienation is hard to prove.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 11-05-2021, 08:42 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 6,643
rockscan will become famous soon enoughrockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Diverged View Post
I take that response as being alienation is hard to prove.

It is hard to prove but people mix up not seeing their kids with alienation. From what you have described, its simply bad kids and bad parenting. When you give teenagers power, theyre going to use.

Alienation is the systemic destruction of a relationship until there is nothing but abusive behaviour. Think no interaction at all except for the kid telling their parent they hate them and want nothing to do with them. There was a really good book I read several years ago A Familys Heartbreak and I highly recommend it.

Its also important to note that if you are trying to show alienation to stop paying support it wont fly. Judges dont cut off support unless it is extreme. My husbands child hasnt spoken to him in 7 years. He wanted to cut off support and expenses and a judge told him he had to work on the relationship but no dice on quitting support. He is still paying it despite his kid telling him emphatically a few years ago she did not consider him her parent.

I also speak from my own experience as an alienated kid. What you have is not alienation.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Online divorce? ExWife2Many General Chat 10 08-12-2010 08:15 AM
Surviving Divorce FPI Divorce & Family Law 2 04-29-2009 07:56 PM
Confused - Need Help -30 Days Up TODivorce Divorce & Family Law 1 12-22-2006 09:04 AM
Question - Contested Divorce SUNNY-DAYS Divorce & Family Law 2 09-27-2006 03:10 PM
divorce agreement then taking cpp blue eyes Financial Issues 1 06-23-2006 08:43 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:04 AM.