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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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Old 11-06-2006, 06:34 PM
tycooke tycooke is offline
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I have joint custody and two days access weekly of 18 month old son. We are waiting for Office Of Children's Lawyer Social Worker to complete her investigation by middle of Dec. At issue is Custody and Access of my son who lives with Mother.

The Mother works part-time for several hours at a time. My son is left with Grandmother because Mother's work days are not on my access days. When I ask Mother to let me watch our son she says no. Can I ask court to be given first option to take care of my son when Mother works?
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Old 11-06-2006, 06:58 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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tycooke,

Quote:
The Mother works part-time for several hours at a time. My son is left with Grandmother because Mother's work days are not on my access days. When I ask Mother to let me watch our son she says no. Can I ask court to be given first option to take care of my son when Mother works?
Yes, but you may have to do so under motion. They call what you are asking is "the right of first refusal." I believe you have a good stance, if you are available and mom isn't then so why not. To me it is in the best interest of the child to spend as much time with each parent as possible. One parent has no right over the other to dictate the terms of the child's access.

If you do so by motion, the onus is on you to show why it would be in the infant child's best interest to be in your care and control during periods that Mom has to work rather than in the grandmother's care.

lv
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Old 11-06-2006, 07:17 PM
tycooke tycooke is offline
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That is exactly the answer I was hoping for. I will do what ever I can to see that I'm spending as much time as possible with my son. We have another Case Conference coming up Nov 20. I will keep everyone posted of the outcome. Thanks again for your reply.

TyCooke.
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Old 11-06-2006, 10:24 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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tycooke,

emphasize and focus in your case conference brief that access is the right of the child and as such you are available to parent your child. It is an opportunity to foster the relationship between you and your child. I suspect the court will want to know why the mother resists same. In essence it just go to show and is supported by infant child development research that a child bonds with both parent's and multiple caregivers I may ad.

State openly the respect you have for the child's mother, and the importance of the mother child relationship. Be non argumentitive in your pleadings, co-operative, open minded and most of all reasonable. Praise the child's mother.

I'm not sure if custody of the child is an issue, but being communicative and co-operative even if it goes against your believes will go a long way.

lv
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Old 11-07-2006, 01:01 PM
tycooke tycooke is offline
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I made a error in saying we have a Case Conference coming up. It is actually a Settlement Conference. I'm sure all you stated still applies. Custody is also an issue but since my son has always lived with Mother I am seeking joint custody with a generous access schedule. When the child gets a little older I will ask for overnight access also. Children's Lawyer Social Worker will come to my home this week to observe me and my son together. She will do the same with Mother.

TyCooke.
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Old 11-07-2006, 03:53 PM
Decent Dad Decent Dad is offline
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What a horrible situation.. basically spending your life (and savings) to fight for more time with your son. And no overnights? Good lord... what a wacky world we live in.

I too faught several times about the mother placing the child in anyone elses care but wth me: daycare, friends, boyfriend, kid down the street, local shop keeper... I was 11 on a list of 10. Makes you sick... but also very hard to fight. Why? Because YOU are disrupting the routine. YOU are causing the problem... it is the mother's right to do what she thinks is best for her child...

Now, you are way behind the eight-ball. You have no custody (really). You have basically no access (the mailman sees your child more often). I also had right of first refusal. It is a joke. How does one enforce this? Are you going to go to the grandmother's house and get the child? Your ex will not follow right of first refusal if she is not following it now.

Since you are going to a settlement confernce... what are YOUR terms? Whay are HER terms? You are far into the process here. Affidavits have been filed. Letters sent back and forth. Do you have a lawyer? How long has the status quo access regime been in place?
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Old 11-07-2006, 09:37 PM
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tycooke,

I suspect at your forthcoming settlement conference the Judge will not make any significant orders in regards to custody and access of the child. On the face of it is somewhat suggests that you have come to some consent orders in the past on your child's access. What it further suggests is that you have been co-operative with your child's mother and accepting the access that is offered. What is their stance for resisting the child's access to you?
I do suspect that there is no court order complying you to pay child support but you have been doing so in a volunteer manner. If so, this conduct by you will go a long way and is proof in itself that you are very co-operative in the child's best interest.

However, all that said and done, if your not receiving the access and have a collateral parental assessment from the office of the children's lawyer to support a different regime, then you should bring forth a motion after the settlement conference.

lv
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