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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #11  
Old 04-30-2010, 07:46 PM
susiecanoe susiecanoe is offline
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It would appear so.
I feel pretty distraught over the whole thing. I feel like if I don't agree to their only proposal of mediation ( which has been tried and unsuccessful) then I will appear to be the party who is uncooperative. They have already threatened me that if I don't voluntarily participate, then they may have to take the matter before the courts and I won't like the outcome implying that if the conflict does not stop, then they could remove my daugher into foster care. How bizzare is that? I have done nothing wrong. I follow the order. I did not abduct one of my children and prevent them from having contact with thier father.
  #12  
Old 04-30-2010, 07:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by susiecanoe View Post
It would appear so.
I feel pretty distraught over the whole thing. I feel like if I don't agree to their only proposal of mediation ( which has been tried and unsuccessful) then I will appear to be the party who is uncooperative. They have already threatened me that if I don't voluntarily participate, then they may have to take the matter before the courts and I won't like the outcome implying that if the conflict does not stop, then they could remove my daugher into foster care. How bizzare is that? I have done nothing wrong. I follow the order. I did not abduct one of my children and prevent them from having contact with thier father.
How do they know the outcome? I thought that was left to the Judge...
  #13  
Old 04-30-2010, 08:01 PM
susiecanoe susiecanoe is offline
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Well that's a good point. But I am not willing to take the chance. I don't have the time, energy or money anymore. I don't like being threatened and clearly their position is that both parents are at fault for the conflict therefore we are both harming the children therefore they will take control. I am thinking I may demand a new worker. I have already complained to the supervisor and have my personal counselor who previously worked for CAS and is a registered mediator and certified social worker to advocate on my behalf.
  #14  
Old 04-30-2010, 08:05 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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Have you considered applying for legal aid?
  #15  
Old 04-30-2010, 08:51 PM
susiecanoe susiecanoe is offline
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Been there, done that, don't qualify. The bottom line is I don't feel like spending the next 10 years in court. I requested CAS to assist and they aren't helping. Please explain though what you meant earlier by disclosure is required.
  #16  
Old 04-30-2010, 09:04 PM
logicalvelocity logicalvelocity is offline
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Originally Posted by susiecanoe View Post
Been there, done that, don't qualify. The bottom line is I don't feel like spending the next 10 years in court. I requested CAS to assist and they aren't helping. Please explain though what you meant earlier by disclosure is required.
TGIF - huh - and I'm going out...lol

However, what I meant by Disclosure was all documentation held by the CAS concerning the health welfare of your children. Your a parent and entitled. It doesn't hurt to write a formal letter of request for disclosure and see if they co-operate.
  #17  
Old 04-30-2010, 09:10 PM
susiecanoe susiecanoe is offline
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Ok. I might try that. TTYL.
  #18  
Old 05-01-2010, 10:12 AM
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Originally Posted by susiecanoe View Post
Ok. I might try that. TTYL.
Best to send by FAX asap. The disclosure requests effectively calls them out. It's either a child protection matter or its not.

If they had sufficient evidence to demonstrate emotional harm to the children then why are the children being left in your care....Are you sure the Mediator is not an Assessor working on behalf of the Society?

Why has the Society conveyed alleged threats as to what the Judge will order in the future?
  #19  
Old 05-01-2010, 10:31 AM
susiecanoe susiecanoe is offline
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It's really not that simple. CAS is now mandated as part of their duties to utilize Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) or in other words, Mediation in cases where it may benefit the parties to resolve their differences so the impact on the children is minimized. I am not in opposition to this forum IF I felt it would work, but I have already attended mediation and settlement on many previous occassions and my ex is not open to compromise or negotiation and uses his power and control to intimidate me. As for my daughter being left in my care, the full assessment report completed prior to trial is indicative that if the children were to reside with Dad, he would alienate them from me ( which clearly has now happened since my son chose to go reside there 2 years ago) whereas in my care, I would encourage them to maintain and continue thier relationship with their father. Thus I was granted that the children would reside with me on a full time basis with continued joint custody in matters of education, religion and health. I would never prevent or hinder my children from a relationship with their parents - THAT would harm them. So, I am not sure why CAS is of the belief that mediation will assist. In my opinion, they should be insisting Dad follow the order, then the children would not be further harmed. By that I mean, that Dad should not be proventing my son from contacting me, should be openly engaging him to attend for alternate weekend visits, holidays and both oral and written communication. ( read up on PAS) He should be following the order which requires advance notice for visits, and he should be contributing to the children's health care and education costs ( which he has failed to do). To me, it is pretty clear who is causing the harm to the children. The CAS however, does not care who is at fault, just that it stop and consider that both parties are equally responsible. Therefore I am mandated to participate in the mediation process even though I am following the order. They have no grounds to remove my daughter from my care. I send her to Dads every other weekend, split holiday time, and for vacations. She is not prevented from calling them at any time. Complex I know.
  #20  
Old 05-01-2010, 12:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by susiecanoe View Post
It's really not that simple. CAS is now mandated as part of their duties to utilize Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) or in other words, Mediation in cases where it may benefit the parties to resolve their differences so the impact on the children is minimized. I am not in opposition to this forum IF I felt it would work, but I have already attended mediation and settlement on many previous occassions and my ex is not open to compromise or negotiation and uses his power and control to intimidate me. As for my daughter being left in my care, the full assessment report completed prior to trial is indicative that if the children were to reside with Dad, he would alienate them from me ( which clearly has now happened since my son chose to go reside there 2 years ago) whereas in my care, I would encourage them to maintain and continue thier relationship with their father. Thus I was granted that the children would reside with me on a full time basis with continued joint custody in matters of education, religion and health. I would never prevent or hinder my children from a relationship with their parents - THAT would harm them. So, I am not sure why CAS is of the belief that mediation will assist. In my opinion, they should be insisting Dad follow the order, then the children would not be further harmed. By that I mean, that Dad should not be proventing my son from contacting me, should be openly engaging him to attend for alternate weekend visits, holidays and both oral and written communication. ( read up on PAS) He should be following the order which requires advance notice for visits, and he should be contributing to the children's health care and education costs ( which he has failed to do). To me, it is pretty clear who is causing the harm to the children. The CAS however, does not care who is at fault, just that it stop and consider that both parties are equally responsible. Therefore I am mandated to participate in the mediation process even though I am following the order. They have no grounds to remove my daughter from my care. I send her to Dads every other weekend, split holiday time, and for vacations. She is not prevented from calling them at any time. Complex I know.
Not complex. Thats your Background -Some facts are trivial, some not so much. You still require full CAS disclosure to compare. It's the weekend, how long has you matter been going on for?
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