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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 06-22-2016, 03:37 PM
zanman zanman is offline
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How do you keep the kids out of such a mess when their mom is trying to seek SS. I will have to sell the house soon in order to pay for legal fees and potentionaly pay SS.

She said that if I was to mention anything to the kids about her taking me for SS their will be no negotations if we end up in court.

Really how do you tell the kids we have to sell the home after 2 years and move somewhere else. Yet I can't tell them the truth.
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Old 06-22-2016, 03:55 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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There are lots of ways to explain moving due to finances without bringing up their mother or SS, which you should never do even if the ex hasn't told you not to.

But i do hope you're documenting her threats.
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Old 06-22-2016, 05:13 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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unless the kids are paying the mortgage, they don't need to know the reasons why you want/have to sell the house and downsize. To tell them its due to their mother wanting SS could be interpreted as parental alienation in a mild form. Not a good idea.
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Old 06-22-2016, 11:04 PM
Wyntermcd Wyntermcd is offline
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Pretend you and your ex were still together and ask yourself what you would say if something had come up that required you to sell the house.

Examples : job promotion that required relocation, child displayed exemplary skill in something that warranted a move to be closer to facilities that could encourage that growth, winning the lottery or gaining an enheritance that permitted you to gain a dream home.

I have yet to see a parent ask how will those circumstances negatively impact their kids......

I guess my point is that you are the one projecting your negative feelings about your current circumstances onto your kids, stop doing that and I think you'll see the answers are right in front of you.
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Old 06-22-2016, 11:07 PM
Wyntermcd Wyntermcd is offline
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I would also add that kids by their very nature are drawn to focus on positive things that make them happy, they aren't going to dwell on a negative thing unless it's repeatedly thrown in their faces
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Old 06-23-2016, 05:22 AM
North of 40 North of 40 is offline
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Morn;

Don't be too hasty in selling your home. Depending on where you live, house increases have been dramatic. In the GTA for example, just by keeping your house, the amount of tax free money made will be quite significant.

If I could recommend, contact a Credit Union not a bank. Ask if you would be allowed to only pay the interest, on an LOC for the amount of money the mortgage would cost. The number will be dramatically lower. As long as there is more value in the home than the amount owing they will do it.

I kept mine for the purposes of having some degree of calmness in the kids lives. I.e. with school mates, walking home from school etc.

Just a fluke housing went insane, but a really nice positive of an crazy situation.

As a real bonus, me ex is madder than a wet hen when she saw the house price increase

Hope this helps
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Old 06-23-2016, 07:04 AM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by North of 40 View Post
Morn;

Don't be too hasty in selling your home. Depending on where you live, house increases have been dramatic. In the GTA for example, just by keeping your house, the amount of tax free money made will be quite significant.

If I could recommend, contact a Credit Union not a bank. Ask if you would be allowed to only pay the interest, on an LOC for the amount of money the mortgage would cost. The number will be dramatically lower. As long as there is more value in the home than the amount owing they will do it.

I kept mine for the purposes of having some degree of calmness in the kids lives. I.e. with school mates, walking home from school etc.

Just a fluke housing went insane, but a really nice positive of an crazy situation.

As a real bonus, me ex is madder than a wet hen when she saw the house price increase

Hope this helps
while it has been true that the GTA house prices have been insane, I have also read that they are expecting the bubble to burst and for the housing market in GTA to correct its self. Its hard to predict when that will happen though.
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