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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #81  
Old 05-09-2013, 02:43 PM
good_mom good_mom is offline
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Breach of contract….you say.

How about the breach of contract some do by not working to there full potential or at all in a marriage?

Now hear me out, I’m not talking about stay at home parents with young children.

Let say a spouse works in a field that only employs part-time workers yet there is the regular availability of extended hours to full time yet refuses to accept the hours.

Let say spouse A and B get married have 2 kids and both have the intentions of working but spouse A decides to quite their job in order to “find themselves” and puts the burden of supporting the family on spouse B.

Can spouse B place a legal claim on spouse A for their obligation to support the children?

Parents are supposed to provide for their children to the best of their abilities.

So can the application of law be applied to married couple?

I find it ridiculous that if you leave the marriage because you are with a non supportive spouse that you then end up paying for their share of CS that they should have been working for all along and then you may end up paying SS….the system is screw up!

I see the need for the law when it pertains to stay at home parents but not for lazy asses that can work!

CS should be based on the cost of raising the child with a min. set to not see the child in poverty.

If I work harder, better my career by going to school part-time why should I have to provide the other side with that benefit?

They should be able to do the same and better their own situation. I’m not saying this is the case for all situations….but things have to go away from creating a dependency!

Please note I’m French and dyslexic, so spelling and grammar are not my strong points!
  #82  
Old 05-09-2013, 02:58 PM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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good mom:

That's why the court allows for imputed income.
  #83  
Old 05-09-2013, 03:12 PM
DowntroddenDad DowntroddenDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by good_mom View Post
Breach of contract….you say.

How about the breach of contract some do by not working to there full potential or at all in a marriage?

Now hear me out, I’m not talking about stay at home parents with young children.

Let say a spouse works in a field that only employs part-time workers yet there is the regular availability of extended hours to full time yet refuses to accept the hours.

Let say spouse A and B get married have 2 kids and both have the intentions of working but spouse A decides to quite their job in order to “find themselves” and puts the burden of supporting the family on spouse B.

Can spouse B place a legal claim on spouse A for their obligation to support the children?

Parents are supposed to provide for their children to the best of their abilities.

So can the application of law be applied to married couple?

I find it ridiculous that if you leave the marriage because you are with a non supportive spouse that you then end up paying for their share of CS that they should have been working for all along and then you may end up paying SS….the system is screw up!

I see the need for the law when it pertains to stay at home parents but not for lazy asses that can work!

CS should be based on the cost of raising the child with a min. set to not see the child in poverty.

If I work harder, better my career by going to school part-time why should I have to provide the other side with that benefit?

They should be able to do the same and better their own situation. I’m not saying this is the case for all situations….but things have to go away from creating a dependency!

Please note I’m French and dyslexic, so spelling and grammar are not my strong points!
I would entirely agree. My ex and I had always agreed that when all the kids were in school full time, she would return to the workforce, where she made a decent income. In my case just as that time came, she was diagnosed with a incurable degenerative disease.....or so she convinced me, and her friends and family. Years later I found out the truth....she never had that disease.

So now we are divorced, and I'm on the hook for SS and a huge CS bill.

But I can't prove it. He said, she said.
  #84  
Old 05-09-2013, 03:15 PM
Pursuinghappiness Pursuinghappiness is offline
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Quote:
...she was diagnosed with a incurable degenerative disease
Was it called "laziness?"

Downtrodden, that's pretty scandalous. Her friends/family weren't outraged at her lying about having an incurable disease?
  #85  
Old 05-09-2013, 03:49 PM
DowntroddenDad DowntroddenDad is offline
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
Was it called "laziness?"

Downtrodden, that's pretty scandalous. Her friends/family weren't outraged at her lying about having an incurable disease?
Her friends and family are under the impression that it was a mistaken diagnosis, but she had a fall a few years back, which she is now calling a stroke. I found out about her not having the disease from the tech doing the followup EKG. She showed me her chart, and wrote on a blank page and underlined NO (name of disease). I also saw a letter she wrote to a psychiatrist apologising for lying about her condition and asking her to reconsider taking her on as a patient. Of course she never told me she was seeing a psychiatrist.

So if I had to give my own diagnosis, laziness would be part of it. But she has deeper issues I think.

The shattering of all trust had a great deal to do with the breakdown of the marriage. Sadly the kids don't know the truth, they think she is a martyr. She has done much to perpetuate that story.

When we first separated, she was claiming disability. I countered by suggesting she had never qualified for ODSP or any other support. I gave her forms that would have saved me thousands in taxes if I filed amendments to previous years taxes, but required a doctors signature, and told her I would split the refund 50/50. She never got the doctor's signoff. My lawyer advised that I could seek an occupational assessment, but that it would take years to force through, cost $30K plus, and had no guarentees that a judge would accept it. I decided against it.

She did get a job before we finalized our agreement then lost it a few months later.

I do accept some responsibility here. I knew she had issues with the truth before we married, though I thought she had reformed. I knew she had spotty job history.

Last edited by DowntroddenDad; 05-09-2013 at 03:59 PM. Reason: addition
  #86  
Old 05-09-2013, 11:48 PM
frustratedwithex frustratedwithex is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cashcow4ex View Post
Well I am not sure how your previous marriage was but I can tell you that a decision to spend 10's of thousands of dollars in my last marriage was not one that could or ever would be done unilaterally. So my reasoning does hold in mine and most other marriages.

I dont know a single person other than millionaires that would be accepting or ironically not soon to be divorced if their spouse decided to spend that kind of household money "unilaterally"

Lets try and be a little realistic here. We are not talking about the spouse running out and buying a sofa or end table.
The decision to spend any money was all done by my ex. during our marriage. We had multiple joint accounts, however, it was well understood that I was not to access any of them other than the checking account.

I bought groceries and clothes for the kids. We had a budget for these items and I followed it.

Ex decided on car purchases, motorcycles, golf memberships, holidays, etc. And yes this was cause for many arguments. He would say we should talk about a particular purchase, but in fact he had already purchased it and was just informing me of it.

He was unilaterally deciding where the money went.
  #87  
Old 05-10-2013, 09:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by frustratedwithex View Post
The decision to spend any money was all done by my ex. during our marriage. We had multiple joint accounts, however, it was well understood that I was not to access any of them other than the checking account.

I bought groceries and clothes for the kids. We had a budget for these items and I followed it.

Ex decided on car purchases, motorcycles, golf memberships, holidays, etc. And yes this was cause for many arguments. He would say we should talk about a particular purchase, but in fact he had already purchased it and was just informing me of it.

He was unilaterally deciding where the money went.
I am sorry to hear that your ex was allowed to make all the financial decisions in your union.

I know my ex tried to force this same controling mentality on me at the begining of our marriage, however I put a stop to it real quick.

I simply threatened her that if she wanted to control the money she could control her own earnings by paying 50% of all the bills and keep the rest to spend how she saw fit and same for me. She chose wisely because she didnt earn enough to pay her share and have any left over.

So in the end all our financials were jointly decided as it should be in any marriage where the money is combined...that is until the divorce of course.
  #88  
Old 05-14-2013, 10:49 AM
momiss2 momiss2 is offline
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Update: Daughter chose to live with me part time which is awesome. She understood why I chose to say that she can live with dad, but can't come and go as she likes... in other words no overnights as I felt she was taking advantage of me and her dad. I normalized this as well. Her dad said she can't have the car when she is at my home. She has to drop it off every 2 weeks to him. He is still trying to play games to get her to stay full time with him. So will see what happens. Love havng my girl live with me 1/2 time.
  #89  
Old 05-14-2013, 11:28 AM
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mcdreamy mcdreamy is offline
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Originally Posted by momiss2 View Post
Update: Daughter chose to live with me part time which is awesome. She understood why I chose to say that she can live with dad, but can't come and go as she likes... in other words no overnights as I felt she was taking advantage of me and her dad. I normalized this as well. Her dad said she can't have the car when she is at my home. She has to drop it off every 2 weeks to him. He is still trying to play games to get her to stay full time with him. So will see what happens. Love havng my girl live with me 1/2 time.
I'm curious -- will you now be asking for setoff cs from the ex?
  #90  
Old 05-14-2013, 12:46 PM
momiss2 momiss2 is offline
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mcdreamy: Considering the manipulation and constant games he's been playing with me despite whats in the sep. agreement. What do you think I should do?
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