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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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Old 05-23-2006, 10:24 PM
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Default Dealing with Stress

How do you deal with the stress of your divorce?

When I'm really stressed, I like to watch a comedy on TV. Nothing like laughing to take all your worries away. Going for a walk is helpful too, especially when there's no TV around.

I also try to avoid: eating a tub of ice cream!
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Old 05-23-2006, 10:47 PM
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Ahhh dealing with stress! Excellent topic!

Maybe some people post here. Some people like to power walk. Me? I play City of Heroes, an MMORPG! Pure mindless fun where I can create a superhero and save Paragon City from doom at the hands of villains... great fun!

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Old 05-24-2006, 09:55 AM
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1. I pray until I am brought to tears ... it's as if a pressure valve is opened releasing the toxins that build in ones body over time from prolonged expose to stress.

2. I also like to push my bodies physical limits at the gym. It's like putting the squeeqe on the body to release stress. Sort of like when one takes an orange and squeezes it -- the juice (stress) flows out freely.

3. I also like to read/watch anything that is inspiration or of a self-help nature ... it temporarily focus the mind on something else, giving the body a break and not giving stress front and center stage.

4. I also plan to get back into mediation. One that I am particullary fond of is Qigong ... simple exercise with profound results.

5. Love listening to uplifting music ... angelic and/or spiritually based really touches my core. Robert Gass or songs from Braveheart ... you know, that kind of stuff.

6. Another method is EFT. Its a method whereby you tap meridian energy points in the body ... using a recipe ... the manual an be downloaded from the web for free. Simple process and it works.

7. Anther method is using Sedona Method ... from the web.

"Make yourself comfortable and focus inwardly. Your eyes may be open or closed.

Step 1: Focus on an issue that you would like to feel better about, and then allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling in this moment. This doesn’t have to be a strong feeling. Just welcome the feeling and allow it to be as fully or as best you can.

This instruction may seem simplistic, but it needs to be. Most of us live in our thoughts, pictures, and stories about the past and the future, rather than being aware of how we actually feel in this moment. The only time that we can actually do anything about the way we feel (and, for that matter, about our businesses or our lives) is NOW. You don’t need to wait for a feeling to be strong before you let it go. In fact, if you are feeling numb, flat, blank, cut off, or empty inside, those are feelings that can be let go of just as easily as the more recognizable ones. Simply do the best you can. The more you work with this process, the easier it will be for you to identify what you are feeling.

Step 2: Ask yourself one of the following three questions: Could I let this feeling go? Could I allow this feeling to be here? Could I welcome this feeling?

These questions are merely asking you if it is possible to take this action. ‘Yes’ or ‘no’ are both acceptable answers. You will often let go even if you say ‘no’. As best you can, answer the question that you choose with a minimum of thought, staying away from second-guessing yourself or getting into an internal debate about the merits of that action or its consequences.
All the questions used in this process are deliberately simple. They are not important in and of themselves but are designed to point you to the experience of letting go, to the experience of stopping holding on. Go on to
Step 3 no matter how you answered the first question.

Step 3: No matter which question you started with, ask yourself this simple question: Would I? In other words: Am I willing to let go?
Again, stay away from debate as best you can. Also remember that you are always doing this process for yourself – for the purpose of gaining your own freedom and clarity. It doesn’t matter whether the feeling is justified, longstanding, or right.

If the answer is ‘no’, or if you are not sure, ask yourself: Would I rather have this feeling, or would I rather be free? Even if the answer is still ‘no’, go on to
Step 4.

Step 4: Ask yourself this simpler question: When? This is an invitation to just let it go NOW. You may find yourself easily letting go. Remember that letting go is a decision you can make any time you choose.

Step 5: Repeat the preceding four steps as often as needed until you feel free of that particular feeling.

You will probably find yourself letting go a little more on each step of the process. The results at first may be quite subtle. Very quickly, if you are persistent, the results will get more and more noticeable. You may find that you have layers of feelings about a particular topic. However, what you have let go of is gone for good.

Welcoming an emotion
You may have noticed that when you focused on your feelings in Step 2 of the releasing process above, you let them go. They simply dissipated. Because we spend so much time resisting and suppressing our emotions, rather than letting them flow freely through us, welcoming or allowing an emotion to be is often all that is necessary to allow it to release.

Releasing through diving in
This is another method of letting go that works best when you are in touch with a stronger feeling. Here is what you may experience: You receive some news that gets you upset. You start to feel a strong feeling of fear or grief, and you have the time to take a few minutes to release. You sit down, close your eyes, and relax into the feeling as best you can. Then you ask yourself questions like: What is at the core of this feeling? Could I allow myself to go in consciousness to the core of this feeling? Could I allow myself to dive into this feeling?

You may also picture yourself actually diving into the centre of the feeling and/or you may find yourself merely feeling what is at the core.
Once you start to go deeper, you may experience various pictures or sensations. You may also notice a temporary intensification of the emotion. So, keep asking yourself: Could I go even deeper? Cajole yourself to go even deeper beyond whatever picture, feeling, or story you may be telling yourself about the emotion.

As you persist in this direction, you will reach a point where something pops inside, or you may find that you can go no deeper. You will know you have reached the core when your mind is calm and you feel peaceful inside. You may even see yourself bathed in an inner light or surrounded by a warm, welcoming emptiness and silence.

Remember, if the feeling still feels strong or has even intensified, you are not at the core. All feelings except peace are on the surface."

These are but some of me favorites.

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Old 05-24-2006, 06:13 PM
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Many ways to deal with stress. I am the outdoors type so I have a tendancy to go away for the weekend camping. I find it a changed pace and relaxing. I find when you get back you have a different perspective.

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Old 06-03-2006, 10:01 PM
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Turn the music up really loud and clean house...doesn't that sound so domesticated? But it works for me. When I've gotten all my pent-up stressed enegry out, I'm tired and can relax, my house is clean, and I didn't even notice the neighbors calling to complain. lol. (She can't complain too much anyway, I cut her grass whenever I cut mine)

Another way is mindless video games. I go online and find jizsaw puzzles or other easy, mindless games & just sit and get lost for awhile. I can sit and think about absolutely nothing important.
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Old 06-07-2006, 08:23 AM
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Oh yeah, forgot about the music and cleaning house one! It's a great one, however, I'm always stuck doing the washrooms ... yeah, sometimes it can just plain stink! LOL.Hubby
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Old 11-04-2014, 09:27 PM
divorcing mama divorcing mama is offline
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This is an interesting topic

I think the following has worked for me

- call people and talk
-clean and tidy my house
-read a book
-go online and research for specific issues that bothers you
-watch a funny show
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Old 11-04-2014, 09:33 PM
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zombie thread. Perhaps start a new one to discuss your 2014 thoughts?
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Old 11-05-2014, 11:04 AM
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I do something fun with my kids. I plan something everyone will enjoy. Maybe a dress up dinner with fancypants food. Maybe a trip to the local farm. Making some crafty Christmas cards for loved ones including the other parent in their life. Yes the ex. Seeing my kids smile will lift up my spirits anytime.

I personally enjoy all of the above. For alone time I enjoy a good bottle of wine, a great movie, a cuddly blanket, and some really good cheese.
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