Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Discuss.

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #61
    Originally posted by stripes View Post
    Unfortunately, it doesn't always work that way. For some women, a "break" from breastfeeding can result in loss of the capacity to produce milk. Lactation responds to demand (the suckling action of the baby), and for some women even the best pumps don't really get the job done. Separation from the baby for more than a day can, for some women, result in not being able to breastfeed when they get the baby back. (Of course, your mileage may vary - some women could be separated from the kid for weeks and still lactate just fine).

    Note that I'm not defending the woman in this story, who sounds like a very combative jerk using her ability to breastfeed in a pissing match with her ex. Unless there's some weird medical thing going on, I'm thinking the benefits of bonding to the father probably outweigh the risk of early termination of lactation. I'm just saying that women and babies are not standardized, and breastmilk can't be turned on and off like a tap.
    Fair enough, but there are breast pumps, in which aside from the first week-end (and during that same week-end) Mom could breast pump and freeze.

    tayken already pointed this out, although maybe in not so many words.

    As well, find below quote;
    Originally posted by Rioe View Post
    The mother says she doesn't produce enough breastmilk to pump extra. Guess what! The baby can get formula the first weekend with dad, and she can pump while the baby is absent and freeze it for the next dad weekend. One single weekend of formula is irrelevant to the baby's health.
    Last edited by wretchedotis; 07-21-2013, 08:16 PM.

    Comment


    • #62
      Yeah, I agree the whole "health of the baby" argument is pretty weak (unless there's some underlying medical issue that wasn't in the article). I just wanted to point out, as one who has struggled with those ^!%#!$ pumps and the ups and downs of milk production, that pumping isn't as simple as solution as some commenters made it seem.

      But then divorce is all about finding difficult solutions to worse problems, and the tradeoffs involved in making them work.

      Comment


      • #63
        I would, as Dad, guarantee the FL Justice that the child would be returned in adequate health (even though only taking a bottle during my time)!

        I would invite charges of 'failing to provide the necessities of life' against me should anything other than just that occur.

        I'm not sure a ultimatum like that would go over very well before the Court - but if I were this Dad I would be incensed.

        Comment


        • #64
          I found it interesting that Dad and/or his lawyer wasn't quoted in the article. I'm guessing Mom called the media herself, knowing that an article about a child being taken away from the mom against her will would garner a lot of sympathy and might influence judges who don't want to be known as the one who tore an innocent baby from his mother's breast. People are strange.

          Comment


          • #65
            Originally posted by stripes View Post
            I found it interesting that Dad and/or his lawyer wasn't quoted in the article. I'm guessing Mom called the media herself, knowing that an article about a child being taken away from the mom against her will would garner a lot of sympathy and might influence judges who don't want to be known as the one who tore an innocent baby from his mother's breast. People are strange.
            I wouldnt be surprised at that at all.

            Comment


            • #66
              This is certainly an interesting case. I think we will be hearing more very soon unless there is a news suppression.

              Comment


              • #67
                What the court should have done is given her a transition period. Probably about 2 weeks time. To just make an immediate order is irresponsible. She needs to have a reasonable transition time. If she is stupid enough not to comply with that...well, then maybe jail would smarten her up.

                I've nursed 2 children for 12-18 months after birth. My first would take both a bottle and could be babysat. My second was much more difficult. She was smaller at birth and only nursed. I tried to give her pumped milk in a bottle many, many times and she literally would freak out.

                Finally when I had to go back to work...I got her transitioned. It took about a week and a half and I had to give her to my mom and leave the house. It wasn't easy...but eventually she transitioned over to pumped milk from a bottle.

                A mother's body will also transition itself to a new feeding schedule. I used to pump at lunch at work...then feed her myself when I got home..and my body adjusted in about 2 weeks. At first, I produced milk based on the previous schedule so I had some uncomfortable days...but your body will eventually adjust to a new feeding schedule.

                Both mother and baby need to transition. Its not as easy as dropping a baby off at dad's. Its a stupid idea for him too...cause unless he's a nurse..he's gonna have a lot of stress with a screaming baby freaking out on him.

                The mother should be given a 2 week timeframe...and she can get the baby and her own body ready so that the kid can spend some time on weekends with dad. And she can easily continue breastfeeding. I don't buy her argument that she can't produce enough milk to pump since she's obviously producing enough to feed him. What's the difference?

                I'm not a fan of formula and don't recommend it at all. I would have never given that stuff to my own kids unless they'd starve without it. Its not just the antibodies...the fat in a mother's breastmilk is the most important nutrient babies can get for higher order brain development.

                Comment


                • #68
                  Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                  What the court should have done is given her a transition period. Probably about 2 weeks time.
                  It sounds like the court gave her a week, but most likely she knew about the court date for weeks, if not months, and had plenty of time to prepare a transition.

                  Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                  I tried to give her pumped milk in a bottle many, many times and she literally would freak out.

                  Finally when I had to go back to work...I got her transitioned.
                  It's amazing what can be done when you have to do something vs when you want to do it.

                  Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                  Its a stupid idea for him too...cause unless he's a nurse..he's gonna have a lot of stress with a screaming baby freaking out on him.
                  I disagree. He has already missed out on months of his child's life. Just because she was too stressed to give a bottle doesn't mean it will be the same for him. All the joys/stresses of child raising should be experienced by both parents, whether they're a nurse or not.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    It's amazing what can be done when you have to do something vs when you want to do it.
                    lol...You have no idea how ridiculously chauvenistic that response was. If you think for ONE second that I wasn't highly motivated to get my baby off the tit, you don't know a damned thing about nursing. Let me tell you...I did it almost solely for the health benefits to my children. While there's no doubt there are bonding moments....it paled in comparison to the hard times of bleeding cracked nipples...having my sleep interrupted every single night for over a year multiple times...not being able to enjoy large portions of my day because I was stuck in a room nursing. I am NOT one of those women who enjoy nursing so much that they whip off their top in public until the kid is 6 years old. I really only did it because I know it was the best way to get my kid's on a path to good health and growth.

                    Believe me, I was not happy that my 2nd child didn't take a bottle. The only reason she was eventually ok was because she was old enough to transition to a sippy cup and cereal so she could get fed that way. My mom could get her to take a tiny bit out of a bottle but never much. She'd have a full melt down very quickly. There are babies who simply are a real pain in the ass to get off the breast. I'm not suggesting it can't get done...but it requires a reasonable transition time. The court should have ordered that...its the reasonable thing to do.

                    I disagree. He has already missed out on months of his child's life. Just because she was too stressed to give a bottle doesn't mean it will be the same for him. All the joys/stresses of child raising should be experienced by both parents, whether they're a nurse or not.
                    The father isn't more important than the kid and shouldn't be to the court.

                    It sounds like this guy had a baby with a moron who can't think beyond herself but it doesn't mean he should be equally as stupid. Obviously if she's given a transition time and doesn't do it...he's gonna have to manage it himself but the court's concern shouldn't be either of these people...it should be the child. Period.
                    Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 07-22-2013, 05:07 PM.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      I'm sorry you had such a bad experience nursing. It's a difficult experience for most parents but it's up to them on how they want to react to it. Interrupted sleep is just par for the course of parenthood and lasts a lot longer than the bottle period.

                      You said that you tried (wanted) to get your baby on a bottle many, many times but couldn't. Then when you had to go back to work, you were able to get the baby on a bottle in a week and a half. I'm sure the mother in the story would have a similar experience when the want transitions into a need.


                      Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                      It sounds like this guy had a baby with a moron who can't think beyond herself but it doesn't mean he should be equally as stupid. Obviously if she's given a transition time and doesn't do it...he's gonna have to manage it himself but the court's concern shouldn't be either of these people...it should be the child. Period.
                      Why is he equally as stupid? She had 4 months but can't/won't give a bottle, so he is stupid for forcing her to allow access to the child? Court is always focused on the children and it was for this child that an order was made for access to both parents.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        I wonder how it would play out in court if Dad were to hire a wet-nurse?

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
                          I wonder how it would play out in court if Dad were to hire a wet-nurse?
                          You laugh, but my son had a wet nurse when my ex was having issue nursing. It was my son's godmother, who was at the time also nursing my godson.

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                            You laugh, but my son had a wet nurse when my ex was having issue nursing. It was my son's godmother, who was at the time also nursing my godson.
                            why in the world would you need one?

                            Formula is perfectly acceptable. We don't live in medieval times, nor are we so impoverished as to not be able to afford it. (Although sometimes it can be a struggle).

                            I'm not sure I would be comfortable with that, unless maybe you were 'taggin that', too?

                            :P

                            Comment


                            • #74
                              I think it's a very personal choice, and a viable option for those who want to go that route. It's not one I would personally choose, but certainly wouldn't think less of someone who did. In fact, I'd probably have more respect for them.

                              Nobody wants to need to go that route and I can imagine it would be a difficult choice to make.

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
                                why in the world would you need one?


                                I'm not sure I would be comfortable with that, unless maybe you were 'taggin that', too?

                                :P
                                Just when you have me convinced you are a reasonable human being.

                                Perhaps it means nothing to you, but I made an oath to god in front of a packed church that I would be a good role model for that child (my godson).

                                And yet sex is all you can think of.

                                You can't just snap your fingers and wean a baby off breast milk, and the God mother offered generously to help out. You take an unselfish generous act and cheapen it.

                                You are an ass.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X