Hello, I am new on the formus here. Great website! Wish I had found it years ago!
My situation-Sole Custody of two daughters, 10 and 13. Father has access. We live in different provinces so access is over X-Mas and Spring break and summer holidays. Very high confict divorce and for several years afterwards as well. Ex-husband was a physically abusive partner. Children saw too much. Ex husband was not interested in fathering children until a few years ago. He spent several years with no contact with the daughters. (his choice)
Older daughter is having some issues with father. She was part of his friends list on a social networking website where he called me disgusting abusive names and she saw it. She is so hurt and upset. I guess this was her breaking point as she is refusing to attend access. Their relationship had not been great the past year. She is very upset about the high conflict the father puts the family through, it has gotten to her. Father is litigation happy and has dragged me through court for over two years on trivial issues. Tried mediation, it was not successful, father did not cooperate. Father is not reasonable to discuss parenting issues with. She tried to talk to him about what she feels several times to only fall on deaf ears. I have always encouraged them to have a relationship when he came back into their lives.
Daughter is also upset about his living arragments. He told the court he lived with his mother and had room to accomodate them for access. Turns out he is living in a 1 bedroom apartment with his girlfriend. When the girls go on access the youngest sleeps in the bed with the girlfriend and the oldest sleeps on an air bed in the living room with the father on the couch. Not sure how I feel about this. It is creepy but I understand he probably could not afford better. Big issue is I do not know the address of the girlfriend where the girls are staying. I can't just simply ask him.
I am looking for advise in what to do for daughter. Do I drag her to the airport and make her get on the plane? I would feel bad doing this but the access is court ordered and i do understand the importance of her having a relationship with her father. I do however feel her concerns are quite valid. She is in a couselling program already.
I am exhausted finacially from several years of on-going litigation so at this point I would have to self represent. I know if daughter does not go I am in for a contempt motion. I do not want to open that door to him to litigate as he uses it as a form of abuse.
If any one has gone through this or is going through a similar situation I would love to hear feed back. I am at a loss as to what to do.
My situation-Sole Custody of two daughters, 10 and 13. Father has access. We live in different provinces so access is over X-Mas and Spring break and summer holidays. Very high confict divorce and for several years afterwards as well. Ex-husband was a physically abusive partner. Children saw too much. Ex husband was not interested in fathering children until a few years ago. He spent several years with no contact with the daughters. (his choice)
Older daughter is having some issues with father. She was part of his friends list on a social networking website where he called me disgusting abusive names and she saw it. She is so hurt and upset. I guess this was her breaking point as she is refusing to attend access. Their relationship had not been great the past year. She is very upset about the high conflict the father puts the family through, it has gotten to her. Father is litigation happy and has dragged me through court for over two years on trivial issues. Tried mediation, it was not successful, father did not cooperate. Father is not reasonable to discuss parenting issues with. She tried to talk to him about what she feels several times to only fall on deaf ears. I have always encouraged them to have a relationship when he came back into their lives.
Daughter is also upset about his living arragments. He told the court he lived with his mother and had room to accomodate them for access. Turns out he is living in a 1 bedroom apartment with his girlfriend. When the girls go on access the youngest sleeps in the bed with the girlfriend and the oldest sleeps on an air bed in the living room with the father on the couch. Not sure how I feel about this. It is creepy but I understand he probably could not afford better. Big issue is I do not know the address of the girlfriend where the girls are staying. I can't just simply ask him.
I am looking for advise in what to do for daughter. Do I drag her to the airport and make her get on the plane? I would feel bad doing this but the access is court ordered and i do understand the importance of her having a relationship with her father. I do however feel her concerns are quite valid. She is in a couselling program already.
I am exhausted finacially from several years of on-going litigation so at this point I would have to self represent. I know if daughter does not go I am in for a contempt motion. I do not want to open that door to him to litigate as he uses it as a form of abuse.
If any one has gone through this or is going through a similar situation I would love to hear feed back. I am at a loss as to what to do.
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