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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #61  
Old 12-14-2009, 01:27 PM
#1StepMom #1StepMom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic View Post
Did you check to see if the daycare lets you have 2 weeks vacation without paying? Given that he pays his share of daycare, one of the "free" weeks should be his.
The daycare is subsidized. This means that the only daycare fees incurred are those over the 30-day absence allowance.

The judge that ruled on the final order and the judge at the last court date both explained that daycare is a shared total expense... that the NCP has every right to exercise his court-ordered access, and that the CP has every right to the same vacation time with the child if she so chooses, with any daycare fees incurred due to attendance or absence to be shared in proportion to each party's income. The CP is claiming that she shouldn't have to share financially in the NCP's court-ordered vacation time because she doesn't agree with the child being withdrawn from daycare during that time (thus incurring absence fees). Please note that she doesn't take the child out of daycare often, and so she doesn't feel she should have to contribute financially to my husband exercising his court-ordered time by taking the child out of daycare for access (we live 2hrs away). However, the odd times that she does take the child out of daycare, she expects my husband to contribute to the absence fee. Her reasoning is that he takes the child out of daycare more often than she does (because that is what has been court-ordered as his access/vacation time).

Anyhow, we are fine with sharing ALL fees, or with only having to pay full costs of fees incurred during court-ordered access. She cannot have it both ways (where we pay full costs during our access time, plus proportionate share of all other daycare expenses).

The problem is, she doesn't want to agree to one or the other... she wants my husband to pay 100% of daycare during his court-ordered time AND his proportionate share of daycare fees when the child is with her.

She thinks that she has say in which expenses are shared, and which are not. (Similarly, we contribute to extracurricular activities when the child is with her, but she refuses to contribute to extracurricular activities when the child is with us; she claims that he's on our time, and that it's our choice to sign him up.)

Last edited by #1StepMom; 12-14-2009 at 01:30 PM.
  #62  
Old 12-14-2009, 02:19 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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what a nut!
  #63  
Old 12-14-2009, 04:18 PM
#1StepMom #1StepMom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billiechic
what a nut!
Quote:
Originally Posted by scared1
Basically she is a cheap miser then. I see.
Why can everyone see this... except for judges, lawyers, and mediators?

As my husband says... everyone assumes she's a reasonable person who's just confused and gives her the benefit of the doubt... every time!

Now, she's gotten used to her ignorant/innocent "oh-poor-single-mom-me" tactic (because it works in Ontario family court) and uses it ALL THE TIME.

And my poor husband can't seem to have very many options left to defent himself, as everything ends with "she just didn't know any better, so we'll let her get away with it this time," all the while begging and pleading for justice and fairness for him as a parent.

This may be our experience, but I know many others who have experienced the same in Ontario family courts.

Like I said before... it's a crap-shoot!

So now, we just cross our fingers and pray that everything will work out as planned as per the current court order.
  #64  
Old 12-15-2009, 12:41 PM
#1StepMom #1StepMom is offline
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UPDATE:

We just received an email from her stating that her position on the matter remains and that she will be consulting with a lawyer tomorrow, and provide information after her consultation.

Do you think it's possible for her to find a lawyer that will side with her, and encourage her to stir things up even more?
  #65  
Old 12-15-2009, 12:51 PM
NoahsDaddy NoahsDaddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by #1StepMom View Post
UPDATE:

We just received an email from her stating that her position on the matter remains and that she will be consulting with a lawyer tomorrow, and provide information after her consultation.

Do you think it's possible for her to find a lawyer that will side with her, and encourage her to stir things up even more?
Could you clarify something? When she has has the child for her "vacation," does your husband still pay his proportionate share? Or, does she cover all costs. Depending on what this lawyer says, why not just pay the money and the next time she has any vacation time with him, refuse to pay it and quote the same things that she has here? What is she going to do? Take you to court for one weeks worth of daycare cost when she has already set a precedent? Trust me, I know what it's like to have someone try and get every cent they can from you; you want to prove a point here because the principle of it is just wrong. I might do it that way just to ensure you don't have any drama around your Christmas time with him. I never understand why people have to use children to constantly make issues of things that don't need to be an issue in the first place.

I don't know that a lawyer will "side" with her per se. A good lawyer should advise her that she is not being reasonable and that the court would see it as such. However, in the end, she's paying the lawyer and it's ultimately her decision...the lawyer acts on her behalf. If she wants to spend money to fight over it, the lawyer will do it for her. Again though - how much money are we talking about here for this week of daycare? By the time she pays a lawyer, she's already spent the money she wants from your husband. Ridiculous.
  #66  
Old 12-15-2009, 01:33 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoahsDaddy View Post
how much money are we talking about here for this week of daycare? By the time she pays a lawyer, she's already spent the money she wants from your husband. Ridiculous.
SO TRUE!

I guess you will know what to do after the consultation...
  #67  
Old 12-15-2009, 01:44 PM
#1StepMom #1StepMom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoahsDaddy
Could you clarify something? When she has has the child for her "vacation," does your husband still pay his proportionate share? Or, does she cover all costs?
When she pulls the child out of daycare (whether it's because he's sick or she is taking him out for other reasons, such as a trip) she still expects my husband to provide his proportionate share.

Her demand that he provide 100% of daycare costs during his vacation time ON TOP OF his proportionate share of all other daycare expenses is based on the fact that my husband spends more "vacation" time with the child AS PER COURT ORDER than she chooses to take, even though it is written in the court order that she is entitled to same same amount of vacation if she so chooses. Because she doesn't "choose" to take the same vacation time as my husband is entitled to by court order, she doesn't feel she should be responsible for the daycare fees incurred during his access.

Does that clarify things a little more?

As I said before... we have no problem agreeing to one way, or the other. Just not BOTH ways, where we pay full costs of daycare fees during my husband's court-ordered time AND proportionate share of all other daycare expenses. It's one or the other, in our opinion. She wants it both ways.

And since the court order states that "daycare costs shall be shared in proportion to each party's income as the expenses arise" - we do not want to agree to anything different without a court order to the contrary.

Do you know what I mean?
  #68  
Old 12-15-2009, 03:25 PM
#1StepMom #1StepMom is offline
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Well, my husband replied by stating the facts of the court order as he confirms them to be, and stated that she has "noted" the facts in her previous email.

She replied that although she has "noted" the information, she has not confirmed anything as she doesn't agree with the sharing of court-ordered vacation daycare expenses.

This is ridiculous.
  #69  
Old 12-15-2009, 05:46 PM
canniiee canniiee is offline
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This is totally insane! What a B. TFB for her she dosent want to pay daycare boohoo, I still have to pay daycare when my ex takes the kids for vacation, she just wants more $$.

I would probably do as others suggested, write the consent letter yourself, bring the court order and all correspondence with you, go to her place to pick your your step-son for the vacation and hand her over the letter of consent to sign, if she refuses calmly call the police....

On another note, my ex took my kids to the States without my consent. The only way I found out was because my kids told me that when they were in Niagra Falls a man stopped the car and came to their window and asked them if their Mommy knew where they were, of course I knew they were in Niagra so they said yes, but I did not consent for them to go to the US.

Good luck, but I think your best bet at this point to be able to go on the vacation will be getting the police involved, unless her lawyer advises her that she is a total b. LOL
  #70  
Old 12-15-2009, 07:26 PM
representingself representingself is offline
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I have travelled across the border with my oldest at least twice a year for vacations...

I have never had her bio-fathers consent... no one has ever asked me for documentation at the border.

Maybe I was just lucky all those times??

Last edited by representingself; 12-15-2009 at 07:29 PM. Reason: error
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