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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 07-18-2019, 07:55 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Default Mediation shit show

Well mediation is scheduled in the next few weeks and the bullshit runneth over. The dark side are really outdoing themselves. They have been busy hiding assets, selling off significant matrimonial assets ( despite a court order they could not do so without my written permission), putting assets in other family members names, removing the children from
His will and placing extended family members there instead, ignoring our disclosure requests and of course .... suggesting we should cancel said mediation date once again for the umpteenth time as they will not be ready.

Their shenanigans are so entertaining I feel I should be selling tickets and popcorn so that others might enjoy the show.

I have no intention of cancelling the mediation date if only to walk in, smile, bat my eyelashes and say. ď Gee youíre not prepared? I was. Letís call this a fail and see you at arbitration ď
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Old 07-18-2019, 10:30 PM
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BINDING arbitration

you go girl!
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Old 07-18-2019, 11:07 PM
Helpmyspouse Helpmyspouse is offline
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My mediation was a shit show too. I finally get there after 6 years of bull crap stalling from the other side and over $120,000 of legal fees. Do I hear lawyers racking up billable hours??? A verbal agreement was close but needed a follow up call in 30 days. A month goes by and other side claims they not ready to present written proposal. Another 20 days goes by and written proposal arrives. They add more money they want me to pay!!! It was not discussed in the mediation. So naturally, I'm not going to agree. Other side says after another two weeks to put my refusal in writing. So now waiting for other side to counter offer. There would be no refusal and counter offer if they had just proposed what was verbally agreed to on mediation 3 fu**n months ago. It would have been finally over. All to bill for more hours is all I can think of. Pieces of shit! Good news is I expected this so it was no surprise.
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Old 07-19-2019, 09:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
BINDING arbitration
Unless you are rich, binding arbitration is ridiculous.

Trials are already binding arbitration, but the arbiter is free. Spending tens of thousands on a judge doesn't make sense when you can get one that's covered by taxpayer dollars.
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Old 07-19-2019, 09:46 PM
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In Alberta binding arbitration is conducted by judges and you only pay for your respective lawyers.

I hear what you are saying, but as evidenced by this forum, people seem to find money to schlep back and forth to these "case conferences" or "mediation" sessions which are quite costly if you have a lawyer representing you. I think Ontario lawyers don't push for arbitration because they really don't know much about it. It will evolve in Ontario once people figure out that no, they don't have to go to the CC route and instead get a binding judgement. I believe that most people who are unwilling to settle reasonably, usually just want the theatrics of having someone tell them they are right and the other person is wrong anyhow (personal opinion).

I think going to binding arbitration after 1 or 2 4-way meetings is prudent. You don't have witnesses at arbitration and evidence is presented 30 days prior for judge to read over. If the two parties can't come to an agreement within a specified amount of time 1 - 3 days (typically) then judge/arbitration makes ruling. Way cheaper and way faster... and people's egos are assuaged to a point in that the arbitrator make the decision.

Non-binding arbitration is merely the case-conference thing that you have in Ontario I believe.... back and forth useless non-binding negotiation.

All in all, lawyers make money when things are drawn out. It isn't surprising that binding arbitration is not very popular with legal people in Ontario.
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Old 07-19-2019, 10:21 PM
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Married 30 years. No children as part of divorce proceeding. Ex and I were full partners in a business. One cart wheeled in by my lawyer of company files which both parties referenced (we had no problem with that).

Approximate costs:

Lawyer's fees for 1 day of Arbitration (5,000 - 6,000)
Application/filing stuff & preparation (3,500)


All-in-all I think it was only around 10k or less. It took 1 day and that included 2 smoke breaks and 1 hr for lunch (judge told us that 5 days had been reserved?) Conducted in a conference room of the local court house. At the end of day we went up the elevator to a court room where robed judge pronounced us divorced and read decision. We receive a print-out of divorce order the same day.

Simple.

Had we gone through the trial thing it would easily have cost over 50k.

Trick is - both parties have to agree to BINDING arbitration at the start.

I think people have to DIRECT their lawyers. My lawyer told me at the time that it was much more beneficial for him to expedite our divorce and get referrals from my friends than to drag it out. Hahaha. He was correct. He is a very busy lawyer with a thriving practice. Same lawyer has 'had my back' when I needed assistance when I moved to another province. I have never received a bill from him for that assistance.
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Old 07-19-2019, 11:17 PM
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The reason I agreed to med/arb is because the dark side kept stalling and when we finally had a few TMC conferences his lawyer pulled a dirty. Told the judge our trial would take 22 days. My lawyer estimated 4-5 days. Judge refused to put us on the trial list as long as the dark side insisted they needed 22 days.
Iím not at all confident in the mediation process but apparently you have to go through it first to get to binding arbitration. My STBX is coming to the table with dirty hands so I plan on calling an end to the mediation within minutes of arriving so we can go straight to arbitration. I want this resolved. This way they canít delay and wiggle out of it anymore.
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Old 07-19-2019, 11:28 PM
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I certainly didn't have to go through mediation prior to binding arbitration. Different province perhaps different rules?

I met once in a 4-way meeting with my lawyer, his lawyer and the two of us. There was some back and forth communication between lawyers. Then binding arbitration agreed to. Of course throughout this time I was litigating with ex on other legal matters (corporate and criminal).

I abhor delays and incompetence. Lawyer was fully accountable to me throughout process. I peppered lawyer with procedural questions and did my own research. I listened to many people who had been bled dry by lawyers. Had advice from some good people that I golfed with (retired family court judge and retired senior lawyer - they gave me fantastic advice on how to select lawyer).

My biggest problems occurred after the divorce was finalized. Ex took me to court for over 10 years trying to have divorce decision overturned. Ex has used up all of his 9 lives now I believe. Emotional roller coaster for sure for many years but now I've got it down to merely form filling if/when he files again. He's due to do it again this year. I have my binders close by and ready to copy-paste.
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:20 AM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Sounds like it was more of the fact he couldnít let you go and move on with his life. Keeping the conflict going is a way of keeping the relationship going.
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Old 07-20-2019, 06:44 AM
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So, in Alberta, binding arbitration is just a trial without witnesses?
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