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Declaration Regarding Sale of Marital Home

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  • Declaration Regarding Sale of Marital Home

    It's in my best interest to have a signed separation agreement prior to sale of the marital home, but the lawyers are holding up the process.

    - ex approached me for separation 3 years ago and has been delaying the process until I moved out this July after 3 years of harassment to do so. He doesn't want an agreement, but I insisted. No agreement before house sale enables him to not proceed with an agreement.

    - ex could cut me off dental/medical benefits. Me providing a separation agreement indicating spouse is to maintain benefits would ensure the benefit provider reinstates benefits.

    Couple of other factors.

    It's in my ex's and daughters best interest to put the marital home up for sale next month. Ex has chosen to remain in the home until Spring if it doesn't sell by November 1st.

    Obviously I want what's best for our daughter.

    Ex and I aren't pressuring each other in any way, we're amicable, but there's an aggressive real estate agent involved.

    I lost trust in my own lawyer so would prefer to not ask this question of my law firm.

    Apparently there's a declaration that the ex and I can each sign directing the lawyers to disburse the funds 50/50 without having a separation agreement.

    1. Does anyone know if we go that route is it a real estate lawyer or our family law lawyers we would see regarding the declaration?

    2. Any thoughts and/or experiences with going the route of the declaration very much appreciated.

    Thank you!

  • #2
    Im not sure about the other stuff but you cannot continue on health benefits if you are divorced. Some health plans include separation. You are no longer a spouse therefore not entitled to benefits. If you are holding out because of that, take it off your list of demands.

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    • #3
      Thanks, Rockscan

      I've already been in touch with the benefits provider and they confirmed as long as the separation agreement indicates ex is to maintain benefits they will be maintained, even if ex attempts to cut me off.

      I feel like it seems I'm trying to get all that I can when the reality is I have severe OCD, agoraphobia, PTSD and depression. I was a highly successful career woman for many years until working over a hundred hours a week and family illness caused a complete breakdown that I haven't been able to recover from. Just fearful for my future with the unknowns and trying to do what's best for all.

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      • #4
        Have you guys sorted equalization yet? Because agreeing to split the proceeds without having a separation agreement finalized is basically giving away your biggest bargaining chip.

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        • #5
          Household items have been divided.

          I have one view on vehicles and he has another.

          RRSP's and pensions are within less than $1,000 of each other.

          Bank accounts were divided equally in 2015.

          I thought of that too, Iona. He definitely doesn't want to stay in the house for longer than necessary.

          My lawyer has my financial disclosure completed. His lawyer has all the photocopies and figures for his financial disclosure, but hasn't completed it.

          I'd only consider the declaration if his lawyer dragged this out and he found a suitable place for our daughter. I'd much prefer having the separation agreement in place.

          I think my biggest fear is if the house sells and we get the proceeds he could choose to not do a formal agreement.

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          • #6
            I think those declarations would be by the divorce lawyer, not a real estate lawyer because what you are doing is dividing up your assets for divorce. But the money might possibly be in trust until the separation agreement is done. You could ask your lawyer to do that.
            Why is there a problem with valuing vehicles? That seems pretty straight forward you just take the blue book value
            I personally think it is entirely unreasonable to expect divorced spouses to pay each other’s benefits. Your divorced, you should be able to go on without ever seeing the person again (except when there are kids). You shouldn’t have to keep in touch over benefits. Maybe they exception being a super high priced lifesaving drug the other person can access otherwise. More typical diagnoses and common drugs I would think not. I wouldn’t expect my ex to pay for my dentist or glasses or orevriptioms and I’m not paying for exes. If that is true that the company benefit person told you it can be included in a separation agreement that ex pays benefits, what happens if ex remarried or has common law spouse? I have never heard of a benefit company allowing someone “two” spouses for benefits [/LIST]

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            • #7
              To get the proceeds of the house without a full separation agreement signed, my ex and I signed off on the money details of the separation agreement and took it to the real estate lawyer. I was told that at their discretion, the real estate lawyer could still refuse to release the money.

              You say the benefits provider will continue providing benefits if it’s in the separation agreement. Will that cease when you get divorced though? That’s how it works with most benefits providers I’ve encountered.


              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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              • #8
                Having a separation agreement is somewhat of a moot argument. Agreements are normally the first thing to not get followed. For spousal and child support, you can survive with an order. Ditto for section 7 expenses like school.

                Most agreements have the minute details but are relatively thrown out the window when one person decides to not follow it and going back to court is simply too expensive.

                Your best bet is to approach this this way: decide what you can live with outside of spousal/child support. Get the house sold and the money split. Split the difference on the stuff you disagree with. Get an order for support and school expenses. Walk away. You are spending thousands on a lawyer to get hundreds. You disagree with $1000 on rrsps? You spend $5000 to fight for it so youre in the hole $4000.

                Look up individual benefits for yourself and have the monthly costs rolled into your spousal support.

                Honestly? The emotional impact of fighting for what you think you deserve is only making your psychological issues worse and requires longer term care.

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                • #9
                  We aren't divorcing, we're separating with no intention to divorce. I'm 55, he's 59, we both see constantly people getting involved with others and the children suffering as a result. We are both good parents, our children did not ask to be born, therefore neither one of us has any intention of rocking the boat by co-habitating or remarrying. Divorce not needed.

                  Divorce - benefits not legal. Separation they are. I fully intend to pay half the bi-weekly cost of the benefit amount withdrawn from his pay cheque as well as my own medical/dental costs above what his plan covers. I already looked into private benefits, very expensive for a 55 year old with health issues.

                  Neither one of us cares about the $1,000 RSP difference.

                  Vehicles he wants to give his vehicle to our youngest and buy a new vehicle for himself with the intent of driving the youngest vehicle so he doesn't wrack up the mileage on his new vehicle, as well as sell the co-owned vehicle the youngest is currently driving.

                  As you said, we're talking less than $5,000 for the vehicles I would be entitled to; not worth fighting over.

                  Neither one of us is fighting.

                  There is a declaration that can be signed to split the proceeds of the sale of the home so the proceeds from the home doesn't end up in trust if the separation agreement hasn't been finalized; I just don't know which lawyer type arranges it.

                  I'll bite the bullet and discuss with my lawyer.

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                  • #10
                    People 55 and 59 do meet other people and have relationships. You are far from being at the end of your respective lives.

                    Very naive and short-sighted to not go through proper equalization process. Better to deal with things now than when there are new significant-others as they do, indeed, play a role and often involve themselves in matters.

                    Sounds as though you have your mind made up. Hope we don't see you posting on here 12 months later+ crying over how your spouse (can't call him STBX) reneged on your agreement.

                    Best to get independent legal advice (that means you both get your own lawyers). Cheaping out things now may cost you dearly in the future.

                    Good luck

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                    • #11
                      I understand what you are saying about bringing in a new partner and kids. I also have no intention in remarrying ever, but I most certainly want a divorce. Remember either one of you can go and get a divorce anytime after 1 yr of separation. I don’t really understand the vehicle thing. Regardless of kid drives, those vehicles are part of Your assets and you just take the blue book value. If you have no argument with each other, then why not just make a separation agreement and be done with it

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                      • #12
                        His lawyer is taking a long time to produce the agreement. We've both sought independent legal advice. My financial disclosure is done; his isn't My lawyer was tied up in court so the two lawyers decided the ex's lawyer would do the agreement and thus far has done nothing. We wish to sell the house, so the declaration is an option, with no intention of not doing a separation agreement. I thought I said that at the beginning of this post.

                        Regardless, I thought this would be a support forum, and find a lot of the wording of posts, not just to myself, to not be overly supportive. There is no "support" in the name, so I obviously was wrong. I've literally read in some posts people telling each other to f off.

                        I appreciate those of you for all the helpful advice and to others you may be pissed at your own situations or ex's, but try to not take it out on the people looking for support and advice here and try to stop making assumptions without all the facts.

                        Once again, separation agreements are in the works and I have no intention of "cheaping out" or "coming back here crying" as I am deleting this account due to lack of moderation.

                        Not everyone in this post implicated.

                        Wishing everyone all the best and future happiness.

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                        • #13
                          There is a "divorce support" section of this forum.

                          Reality of posting on a forum is that all anyone can do is offer opinion on what you post. It goes without saying that we don't know all the facts.

                          You asked your question and based on limited facts: we answered.

                          You are certainly not going to like or agree with everything everyone has to say. If you paused to give thought to your rationale for doing what you are doing, then the forum was useful. You may not see it that way today but you may someday.

                          Good luck to you.

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                          • #14
                            Get the divorce or things can go in completely unintended ways when you die. Even if you have a will.

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