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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11  
Old 07-11-2018, 04:48 PM
standing on the sidelines standing on the sidelines is offline
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i wonder how much of it is the daughter and how much of it is the mother?

I survived domestic violence and I never wanted to see my ex again after I was free. I would never of thought of doing anything where I would see the ex again, let alone keep the battle going. A wise person once told me the best revenge is living well.

If the ex did go to jail for domestic violence then that is the closure. He has a record now and paid for what he did. Time to let it go and move on instead of trying to make him pay over and over. Why do anything that may inflame him and make him retaliate? Just put a period behind it and live life. Trying to get a financial windfall (which probably will cost more then you get) is just a revenge thing.
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  #12  
Old 10-30-2018, 05:21 PM
Manipulated Manipulated is offline
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After a year of searching, we have found a lawyer that does indeed not only do family law but will do tort law within the family law setting. He also deals with domestic violence. If anyone did their research they would find a lot of case law where damages for the abuse were granted in Superior Family Court. Sorrenti v Blair; Costantini v Costantini; Holden v Gagne; McLean v Danicic; C.(N.) v B.(W.R.)- this one got general damages of 65,000 and aggravated damages of 25,000. I have found a dozen or so more cases. No, they did not all receive this much, in fact, most received only a small amount; however, the cases were documented and the abusers revealed to the public. For some, this is more important than the amount of the win. Not all will agree, but good for you.

Thank you to those who were supportive.
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  #13  
Old 10-31-2018, 12:02 AM
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Okay they this is about the "reveal to the public" and not about the money?

Why is that important? Is the perpetrator/accused/ex-husband/bad guy a public figure?

What is it that you hope to accomplish?
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  #14  
Old 10-31-2018, 10:00 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Manipulated View Post
After a year of searching, we have found a lawyer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Janus
Eventually you will find a lawyer who will represent you. He will take the case, and you will lose everything. You will lose your house, you will lose your savings, you will lose your retirement. The lawyer who takes your case will go on a nice vacation and then move on to his next victim. Twenty years from now your family will still be shattered, and nobody will care.

If you are lucky, youngdad will still be around in a few years to help you with your complaint to the LSUC about the lawyer.
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  #15  
Old 10-31-2018, 04:06 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Manipulated View Post
... however, the cases were documented and the abusers revealed to the public. For some, this is more important than the amount of the win.
If, as you say, there has been a criminal conviction related to this matter then the judgement in that would be public. The convicted individual would be named unless the court had are reasons for a publication ban. If the court did have reasons to ban publication then I expect those same reasons would also apply to the civil suit you are contemplating.
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  #16  
Old 10-31-2018, 05:50 PM
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If you are lucky, youngdad will still be around in a few years to help you with your complaint to the LSUC about the lawyer.
LOL! Too funny! Funny in that you were right and this person is about to get ripped off.
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  #17  
Old 11-12-2018, 10:37 AM
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Litigation, money, and putting a bad name on this person is not the way to go at this. Invest your money in an experienced therapist and you will feel much better. It will be much cheaper too and leave you some money for a nice vacation to top it up.

There are also probably people in worst position than you. How do you think Rape victims who are not able to prove rape feel? They can't really do much legally. But they can have counselling to help them move on.
^I don't normally agree with you. ever. but I do here. Except for the 'worst position' part. Damage is relative. Domestic violence can be and is sometimes worse than sexual assault. And unfortunately- they do often go hand in hand.

Anyways- Manipulated, I get where you're coming from. I've done all the legal research on torts and claims in Canada stemming from DV. I agree that putting a bad name to the person won't help your daughter. Therapy first, sue later. I'm a victim too. And I am still thinking about pursuing damages against my ex- the difference is that I think when you bring a tort claim- you HAVE to show some kind of damages. Only in the most extreme cases do the courts order punitive damages. And even then, they're mostly symbolic and the quantum is small (<$10k). For me, I have tangible damages that I would like to get back. HOWEVER, given that I don't' actually want my ex to lose his mind again and do something against our daughter or me...I will likely drop it.

Like a lot of posters said here- think HARD about what you're trying to accomplish. Tell your daughter to think about what she wants. Hatred and revenge are real and (I think?) legitimate feelings in these cases...but to what end? what does it accomplish. On the other hard- sometimes it's not about the fight but shining the light on what she's been through. But is making a claim in Tort really the right way to go about doing that?
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