I just wanted some opinions from experienced parents out there. Here is the basic scoop:
1) My fiancee separated from ex in 2006 (caught her in bed with someone and taped phone calls of their affair).
2) She kept the kids and had him arrested for harassment for taping phone calls. She gets to have the kids because of this and since then has been deliberately non cooperative to prove that dad should not be involved.
3) Over the years, she has lied, deceived and tried to alienate him from kids.
4) In 2009, he signed over custody (was joint) and got an order for access that he could live with. Hoping to move on and decrease conflict for kids.
5) Immediately, she and her new partner began denying access, fighting and yelling when we pick up kids and all sorts of things. Her partner told us that if we want to pick up the kids, we had better bring the police, and that she makes the decisions, not the court order!! CAS agrees that these two subject the kids to emotional abuse but do not have "concrete evidence" to intervene. They have investigated numerous complaints of abuse-- the one child is mentally disabled.
6) Mom continues to deny dad anything to do with kids, despite court order, so we initiate court proceedings. We have numerous written proposals-- we have begged her to be reasonable, to compromise, etc.. She honestly believes that she and her partner do nothing wrong. Everything is an argument and she does so many things to harm the kids. She lets them serve alcohol to adults, child got a huge gash <iframe style="border: 2px inset; width: 540px; height: 250px;" tabindex="1" id="vB_Editor_001_iframe"></iframe>on his leg playing with lawn mower while adults drink in the pool, she denies the boy his orthotics when coming to dad's ("I have custody and will decide when he needs them"-despite specialists recommendations). They drove to our home to pick up the kids and drive them one hour away while we were in a state of emergency due to bad weather ( a person died near their destination after going off the road). She did not get medical care for the children: boy was sick for 2.5 months and she refused ( I am an RN and tried to approach her very calmly with our concerns - thinking she may listen more, but just the opposite was true) . We took both kids to ER ( had to pay because she would not give us health card #'s) and they had pneumonia and an eye infection. She has benefits but would not reimburse the cost of medication (over $100.). I could go on and on....
7) Court involves OCL in October 2010. Social Work in March 2011. Mom is on legal aid, but buys a new car, is going to the east coast for three weeks, her partner does not work, she works 28-30 hours a week (stated at questionning) and they both smoke and drink. She receives almost 1700.00 a month between ACSD, child tax credit and support. We are paying out of pocket for our legal fees because we feels strongly that we need to be advocates for these kids. We buy lots of extras for the kids to make them feel at home in their rooms and have never missed a support payment. We beg the mother to enroll the kids in activities and we will pay, share driving, etc. She absolutely refuses, just to be vindictive. When we bought the kids new coats, instead of thank you, we got a nasty letter from her lawyer accusing us of "buying the kids" affections. We treat them the same as our other two kids (mine from marriage).
8) Have had to go to motion to get any vacation time with kids. Mom will not allow dad to see schoolwork. She is finally told by judge in June 2011 that she is selfish and not acting in kids best interests. Judge gives dad more than half the summer vacation with kids. He also orders her to hand over identification. OCl to have disclosure in July and judge wants final conference asap. Of course, mom now plans on going on vacation when the disclosure meeting is set to occur, a tactic designed to delay things, we are sure.
9) I want to know if I am reading into things too much. The OCL stood up and said to the judge (june 2011) that the children love their father VERY much, there continue to be serious problems with access and that she is worried that if this situation continues, the children's relationship with their father is in jeopardy. She feels the court needs to act soon to prevent this.
10) Judge rules almost entirely in father's favour at this motion, making not interim orders, but a temporary order: he books conference for August 2 after telling the clerk that anything after Sept.6 (court was booking into October) is too far away. He cancelled something to get our case in. Disabled child is scheduled to start high school in September. Daughter is starting grade 4.
11) Does this seem to say that the court (OCL) is at least considering reversing custody and wants this done before school starts, or am I too hopeful??
1) My fiancee separated from ex in 2006 (caught her in bed with someone and taped phone calls of their affair).
2) She kept the kids and had him arrested for harassment for taping phone calls. She gets to have the kids because of this and since then has been deliberately non cooperative to prove that dad should not be involved.
3) Over the years, she has lied, deceived and tried to alienate him from kids.
4) In 2009, he signed over custody (was joint) and got an order for access that he could live with. Hoping to move on and decrease conflict for kids.
5) Immediately, she and her new partner began denying access, fighting and yelling when we pick up kids and all sorts of things. Her partner told us that if we want to pick up the kids, we had better bring the police, and that she makes the decisions, not the court order!! CAS agrees that these two subject the kids to emotional abuse but do not have "concrete evidence" to intervene. They have investigated numerous complaints of abuse-- the one child is mentally disabled.
6) Mom continues to deny dad anything to do with kids, despite court order, so we initiate court proceedings. We have numerous written proposals-- we have begged her to be reasonable, to compromise, etc.. She honestly believes that she and her partner do nothing wrong. Everything is an argument and she does so many things to harm the kids. She lets them serve alcohol to adults, child got a huge gash <iframe style="border: 2px inset; width: 540px; height: 250px;" tabindex="1" id="vB_Editor_001_iframe"></iframe>on his leg playing with lawn mower while adults drink in the pool, she denies the boy his orthotics when coming to dad's ("I have custody and will decide when he needs them"-despite specialists recommendations). They drove to our home to pick up the kids and drive them one hour away while we were in a state of emergency due to bad weather ( a person died near their destination after going off the road). She did not get medical care for the children: boy was sick for 2.5 months and she refused ( I am an RN and tried to approach her very calmly with our concerns - thinking she may listen more, but just the opposite was true) . We took both kids to ER ( had to pay because she would not give us health card #'s) and they had pneumonia and an eye infection. She has benefits but would not reimburse the cost of medication (over $100.). I could go on and on....
7) Court involves OCL in October 2010. Social Work in March 2011. Mom is on legal aid, but buys a new car, is going to the east coast for three weeks, her partner does not work, she works 28-30 hours a week (stated at questionning) and they both smoke and drink. She receives almost 1700.00 a month between ACSD, child tax credit and support. We are paying out of pocket for our legal fees because we feels strongly that we need to be advocates for these kids. We buy lots of extras for the kids to make them feel at home in their rooms and have never missed a support payment. We beg the mother to enroll the kids in activities and we will pay, share driving, etc. She absolutely refuses, just to be vindictive. When we bought the kids new coats, instead of thank you, we got a nasty letter from her lawyer accusing us of "buying the kids" affections. We treat them the same as our other two kids (mine from marriage).
8) Have had to go to motion to get any vacation time with kids. Mom will not allow dad to see schoolwork. She is finally told by judge in June 2011 that she is selfish and not acting in kids best interests. Judge gives dad more than half the summer vacation with kids. He also orders her to hand over identification. OCl to have disclosure in July and judge wants final conference asap. Of course, mom now plans on going on vacation when the disclosure meeting is set to occur, a tactic designed to delay things, we are sure.
9) I want to know if I am reading into things too much. The OCL stood up and said to the judge (june 2011) that the children love their father VERY much, there continue to be serious problems with access and that she is worried that if this situation continues, the children's relationship with their father is in jeopardy. She feels the court needs to act soon to prevent this.
10) Judge rules almost entirely in father's favour at this motion, making not interim orders, but a temporary order: he books conference for August 2 after telling the clerk that anything after Sept.6 (court was booking into October) is too far away. He cancelled something to get our case in. Disabled child is scheduled to start high school in September. Daughter is starting grade 4.
11) Does this seem to say that the court (OCL) is at least considering reversing custody and wants this done before school starts, or am I too hopeful??
Comment