Hi everyone,
Looking for some advice.... My oldest daughter is almost 8, and has voluntarily come to my girlfriend and I three times in the last six months, mentioning things her mom has said to her, that have upset her. The basics are that mom has been threatening to call the police, to get her to stop crying, to stop asking to go to the bathroom so many times while out, if our daughter wouldn't do something that was asked of her.
My ex has had a short temper with our oldest for the last 3 or 4 years, and it is very sad to see it getting worse now that I am out of the house. I even have an email from her saying she is "so f###ing sick of dealing with her"...
Do I believe my daughter? ABSOLUTELY - I have witnessed this behavior first hand, and have been subject to it myself. Is it affecting her? I believe so - she has been having stomach problems, and every "confession" of these problems has come after a meltdown over little things...
So finally, after this last occurrence, I immediately called CAS to make a report about it... I thought about contacting my ex first, but I am afraid she is going to take it out on our daughter, and worried about losing the trust of my child, that has been so hard to gain again in the first place. With great hesitation, I finally called CAS. Never heard anything for a bit, then find out my ex has moved (didn't notify me), and is in a different jurisdiction. With some prodding of friends and family, I find out where she is now, and contact the CAS there. I specifically asked the screeners to talk to me first BEFORE they contact her, to discuss my concerns with the situation. Nope, they contact her, give her a week to brainwash our daughter before meeting, give my ex a chance to talk to her lawyer before she talks to CAS... and end up basically doing nothing.
CAS has failed to help me protect my daughter.... now where do I turn? I am considering trying to get a child psychologist to see her, but I am an EOWeeknd dad (not by choice - fighting that), and it is hard to get someone on the weekend. But I am concerned as well that it may be viewed negatively that I am getting a psychologist involved without ex's consent or knowledge. This is where I am looking for YOUR help ;-) Please, any experience?
Thanks in advance!
Looking for some advice.... My oldest daughter is almost 8, and has voluntarily come to my girlfriend and I three times in the last six months, mentioning things her mom has said to her, that have upset her. The basics are that mom has been threatening to call the police, to get her to stop crying, to stop asking to go to the bathroom so many times while out, if our daughter wouldn't do something that was asked of her.
My ex has had a short temper with our oldest for the last 3 or 4 years, and it is very sad to see it getting worse now that I am out of the house. I even have an email from her saying she is "so f###ing sick of dealing with her"...
Do I believe my daughter? ABSOLUTELY - I have witnessed this behavior first hand, and have been subject to it myself. Is it affecting her? I believe so - she has been having stomach problems, and every "confession" of these problems has come after a meltdown over little things...
So finally, after this last occurrence, I immediately called CAS to make a report about it... I thought about contacting my ex first, but I am afraid she is going to take it out on our daughter, and worried about losing the trust of my child, that has been so hard to gain again in the first place. With great hesitation, I finally called CAS. Never heard anything for a bit, then find out my ex has moved (didn't notify me), and is in a different jurisdiction. With some prodding of friends and family, I find out where she is now, and contact the CAS there. I specifically asked the screeners to talk to me first BEFORE they contact her, to discuss my concerns with the situation. Nope, they contact her, give her a week to brainwash our daughter before meeting, give my ex a chance to talk to her lawyer before she talks to CAS... and end up basically doing nothing.
CAS has failed to help me protect my daughter.... now where do I turn? I am considering trying to get a child psychologist to see her, but I am an EOWeeknd dad (not by choice - fighting that), and it is hard to get someone on the weekend. But I am concerned as well that it may be viewed negatively that I am getting a psychologist involved without ex's consent or knowledge. This is where I am looking for YOUR help ;-) Please, any experience?
Thanks in advance!
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