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  • #16
    As for credit cards, in general I would agree that they they just be split. But this marriage was less than 3 years, so very short. If the credit card debt is equal, I'd say pay your own. If one spouse has a very high credit card debt, I'm not sure I would agree to pay for 1/2 if I or the household didn't benefit from the amounts spent.....that said....it also would depend on what it would cost me in legal fees to fight a proportional split ....
    See the issue here is, all the debt is in my name, she has none of it and she is claiming she doesn't know how I accumulated the debt. I can illustrate it all and she still doesn't want to accept it which is leading to higher legal fee's. Everything from actuary fees to mortgage payments, her lawyer is arguing everything. We had a "Settlement" meeting in which they agreed for us to go settle, upon arrival I found that it was an ambush in which they highlighted every line item an argued everything. I am uncertain what to do under these circumstances.

    Whats funny is at a settlement meeting I was under the impression both sides should have an idea or number in mind. When we arrived they had no number. I have a number and I did the paperwork as per my legal council, not sure how that plays into this.

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    • #17
      for the trial
      If there is a trial, someone has been very, very unreasonable.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by sayol View Post
        I was thinking along the same lines, just happens I know what she has been making in terms of commission and her ballpark salary is around 70k for the year. So she has already decided to take me to court, i'm wondering how the best way to go about defending this is.
        Does it meant she filled Application? If so according to the rules if she claim SS or CS she obligated to provide form 13 Financial statement (support claims) or 13.1 Financial statement (property and support claims) with her application.

        WD

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        • #19
          She filled out the form 13.1 using her 2010 income minus commissions. I don't see how that valid though and I have asked repeatedly for her current income / commissions to no avail.

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          • #20
            I am unfortunately in a situation of co-mingling my inheritance due to pressure from my spouse and i caved. Now I would like to trace it and see if there are any court cases where I can try and get some back. It was never used to buy any assets or toys. HELP. I am in the situation where the man makes 3 times what I do and now has reduced his working hours and is showing income only slightly more than mine. help.

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            • #21
              mememe: good luck. Been there done that. Basically what I found out is what's done is done, aint no going back. If you find out otherwise let us know.

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              • #22
                I am hopeful. I will keep you posted. I am doing it for my parents---they saw through him. If they knew what he was doing/buying with the money they saved by denying themselves--they would roll over in their grave!!! I feel sick every time I think about it. He wouldn't fight for his own inheritance but feels he has a right to mine.

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                • #23
                  I lost over 200K. Up side is he's gone now. Yes pretty disgusting. Don't kill yourself over it though - he isn't worth it.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by billm View Post
                    All income is considered. If you file a normal tax return (ie that truly represents your income), that is what should be used.

                    Full disclosure is required, which usually includes the previous 3 year income tax returns and NOAs.

                    If you are saying she makes 70 and you 80 and you only had a 3 year marriage, there should be no SS obviously. Even if she makes 30 and you make 80 there should be no SS for such a short marriage - like you said she benefited financially by the marriage and you lost, but SSAG may award her some (unfair as it is).

                    What kind of a person expects SS from a 3 year marriage anyway. Good riddance!
                    Dont forget that time livng together before marriage counts also. There should be a law that states anything under 5 years that SS is not even considered.

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                    • #25
                      What if there was no time living together prior to marriage and it was deemed unacceptable to live together unless one was married? Does that seem a bit strange?

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by sayol View Post
                        What if there was no time living together prior to marriage and it was deemed unacceptable to live together unless one was married? Does that seem a bit strange?
                        What exactly would be strange about it?

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                        • #27
                          Sounds like you're in for a battle with an unreasonable ex (who would have thought!)

                          Get all your facts together, and make sure your lawyer is on your side. If your lawyer says you have to pay SS, then pressure him why? Based on the facts that she provided? Well prove those facts are wrong.

                          She also needs to prove entitlement to get SS. This is huge. Without it the SS calculator means nothing. Also, based on your facts SS only works out to like $2000-$3000 so it is not even worth going to court over (lawyers and court costs will rack that up in no time).

                          As for the debt a judge would most likely split that with the rest of your assets.

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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by sayol View Post
                            What if there was no time living together prior to marriage and it was deemed unacceptable to live together unless one was married? Does that seem a bit strange?
                            Not strange... some people don't believe in living together before marrying... kinda like the no sex before marriage thing?
                            My bf never lived with his ex until a month after they were married and bought a house... personally, I think that is why some marriages fail... you learn a lot about a person when you live with them...and when you make a commitment like marriage, you should know as much as you can about the person... but then again... those you think you know so much about, turn out to be someone you know nothing about!

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by sayol View Post
                              What if there was no time living together prior to marriage and it was deemed unacceptable to live together unless one was married? Does that seem a bit strange?
                              1. arranged marriages; and
                              2. old fashioned values.

                              I know of a number of couples that never lived together prior to getting married....my parents being one of them....

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                              • #30
                                I guess I find it strange because it was a condition, the ultimatum was put forth by her parents. Regardless its over and done with.

                                She also needs to prove entitlement to get SS. This is huge. Without it the SS calculator means nothing. Also, based on your facts SS only works out to like $2000-$3000 so it is not even worth going to court over (lawyers and court costs will rack that up in no time).
                                What do you mean she needs to prove entitlement to get SS? Not sure how that works.

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