Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Parental Abandonment - Information Article

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Parental Abandonment - Information Article

    Abandonment refers a parent's choice to have no role in his/her child's life. This includes failure to support the child financially, as well as failure to communicate with the child or have any type of active role in the child's life. Sadly, parental abandonment leaves a child with lingering questions about his or her own self worth. As the remaining parent, you can have a huge impact on your child's self-esteem and ability to cope with the absence of the other parent by being alert to the following effects of abandonment:

    Children who have been abandoned may reject everything about the absent parent: In some cases, children who have been abandoned by one parent will make an effort to completely reject him or her. You'll see this when a child expresses the desire to be the exact opposite of the absent parent.

    What You Can Do:
    • Affirm your child's own unique qualities.
    • Allow your child to share his or her thoughts and opinions.
    • Instead of arguing over your child's rejection of the absent parent, simply respond with a benign statement, such as "I can understand why you might feel that way right now."

    Children who have been abandoned may idealize the absent parent: Some children may over-identify with the absent parent and develop a set of fantasies about him or her which - although they may provide temporary comfort - are not be based in reality.

    What You Can Do:
    • Allow your child to freely verbalize his or her memories of the absent parent.
    • Avoid the temptation to correct your child's recollections.
    • Ask open-ended questions to help your child articulate additional details related to his or her memories.

    Children who have been abandoned may develop poor self-esteem: Children who have experienced parental abandonment may also be prone to developing poor self-esteem and a sense of shame surrounding the parent's absence. They may even question whether they could have contributed to the absence, whether they somehow "deserved" to be abandoned, or whether the absent parent believes he or she is better off without the "burden" of a child.

    What You Can Do:
    • Be very clear in telling your child, repeatedly, that he or she is not at fault.
    • Be specific when you praise your child.
    • Provide opportunities for your child to develop relationships with other adults, whom you trust, who can also convey genuine, positive messages about your child's abilities, character, and contribution to others.

    Children who have been abandoned may have difficulty expressing their emotions: Children who have experienced parental abandonment may also have difficulty sharing their feelings. They tend to keep their emotions bottled up and lack the trust necessary to share their true selves with others.

    What You Can Do:
    • When your child does express an emotion, affirm that you still love him - even when he's angry, sad, or frustrated.
    • Be trustworthy. Make a special effort not to share your child's confidences with friends and acquaintances.
    • Provide regular opportunities to connect with your child, creating an atmosphere where he or she will be free to open up when the time is right.
    Resources:
    Balcom, Dennis A. "Absent Fathers: Effects on Abandoned Sons." The Journal of Men's Studies 6.3 (1998): 283+. Questia. 31 Mar. 2008 []The Age of the Clans: The Highlands from Somerled to the Clearances.
    Read responses (5) Share Your Strategy

    More on the Impact of Abandonment




    Jennifer Wolf
    Single Parents Guide
Our Divorce Forums
Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
Working...
X