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  • My First Motion

    Motion Judge was Brilliant!

    Had my first motion (Section 7 expenses). Not only was the Judge brilliant imo on how he handled the proceeding but my ex lawyer deserves most of the credit! I'm guessing he will be fired by tonight

    The Judge was so patient and didnt rush us to help us come to a resolution. Gave us lots of breaks to discuss with our lawyers, and even joined in towards the end to help us resolve access issues taking directly to us not our lawyers.

    Here is how it went down.

    His lawyer, was really good!!! Took command of the courtroom right away, my lawyer had to interrupt and remind him it was actually my motion And she should go first.

    Ex position was he is still on Stress Leave, cant work and cant afford daycare/camp for the summer. So instead of a 70/30 split (he was imputed his old salary at a CC), we agreed on one of the breaks to 50/50 split. I thought at this point, I was losing.

    Then came summer access, ex agreed to take the kids 1 week in July and 1 week in August if he was well enough. I had proposed 1 week on, 1 week off. Thought I was losing again at that point.

    Next came the school pick up and drop offs, which I wanted to eliminate drop of and pick ups until we are better terms, because it causes too much conflict, ex would not agree. Then the Judge said "Taking your children to school is both an honour and a privileged, its something every parent shouldn't miss out on". Then his lawyer changed his tune, and said 'Your Hounour, your preaching to the choir, let me go check with the well". Well, the well wouldnt agree

    Back to the courtroom after another break, and the Judge says "We have resolved all of the issues for this motion, but before me I see a defeated Mother, with 2 special needs children, that has the whole parenting burden on her', so we are going to take another break, and when I come back, I want to see how you two (the lawyers) are going to relieve her of some of the stress.

    Thats when the tables turned, outside the lawyers went and come back with $2,400 in cash for my use of any camp fees daycare for July & August. Ex will take kids 2 weeks out of the summer (no camp those weeks) If ex cant take kids due to his stress, when he will pay for a nanny those 2 weeks in addition to the $2,400. Every other Wednesday is back on the access schedule, but now an over night!!!

    Every other weekend now starts Friday nights to Sunday nights.

    Judge told ex, he needs to concentrate on his health first, and do whatever it takes to become a parent to his children, and wants us to try the new schedule, but to check back in with him in June to let him now how we are all doing (case conference).

    Judge told me, to enjoy some time away from the children and get some down time.

    Cost were not awarded to either party, and thats OK with me.

    I feel this was a WIN for our children.

    I am elated!!!

  • #2
    Congratulations! Nice to hear that even though you didn’t get what you originally asked for, what you needed did not fall on deaf ears!

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    • #3
      Congratulations Kate! Sounds like you are off to a good start. Hope things keep going in a positive direction. [emoji4]


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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      • #4
        Thanks!!! I think now, enough has been spent on Court Costs and we should be able to settle this before our next Court Date in June.

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        • #5
          That's great!

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          • #6
            You have to be up by 6 am, get them ready for the bus & daycare and out the door by 7:00 its too much for him, especially if one of the kids isnt cooperative.

            I no longer call it access/parenting time, I call it respite care.

            I suspect it will revert back to 2 nights a month at the next CC. So I am enjoying it while I can.

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            • #7
              congrats in order.
              wow, I had to fight tooth and nail to get overnights and be able to go to my kid's school, when the ex wouldnt agree I even offered to prepare and bring lunches to school just to be able to see him. the ex still wouldnt agree to that, sure earnd her some scolding lol ...
              So thankful I have custody now.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by kate331 View Post

                Back to the courtroom after another break, and the Judge says "We have resolved all of the issues for this motion, but before me I see a defeated Mother, with 2 special needs children, that has the whole parenting burden on her', so we are going to take another break, and when I come back, I want to see how you two (the lawyers) are going to relieve her of some of the stress.
                I am glad it worked out for you!

                Quick question: was this a short motion or a long motion? I suspect it was the latter.

                I have never been to one so I do not know what to expect. I am just surprised about the amount of back and forth and negotiating out of court. How long did it last?

                I won't even be in Canada for my upcoming long motion, so I am wondering how that's going to work for me. Only my lawyer will be there.

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                • #9
                  I am not sure how it was booked, my lawyer did that, but I did last 2 1/2 hours, that included all the breaks. It was heard in the afternoon, the courtroom was empty except for one person who looked like he was observing. We were the only case on that Judges docket for the afternoon. He seemed in no rush, unlike the CC.

                  I didn't know what to expect either, I also didn't expect the Judge to talk directly to myself and my ex and ask us questions instead of the lawyers. It was less formal than I had imagined. Our CAS worker attended, but she was not allowed to speak to the Judge, but the Judge acknowledged her, and told her he had read her position.

                  I dont know if the outcome would have been the same if we had not attended and let the lawyers figure it out. I was glad I was there.

                  I do know that it cost me $1,500 and my ex $4,000 in legal fees, and financially for me the outcome was $2,4000 the extra time with their Dad "priceless". No cost were awarded. But it goes to show you that you have to think carefully regarding legal fees.

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by youngdad91 View Post
                    Sometimes I don't feel like mom's really support access (parenting times), but rather just dictate time they want off for themselves.
                    I did try hard to dictate myself 2 weeks off a month, but that didnt work out for me. So I took his $$$ to help pay for daycare/camps instead .

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by youngdad91 View Post
                      Sometimes I don't feel like mom's really support access (parenting times), but rather just dictate time they want off for themselves.


                      Theres also the argument for the dads who don’t want access. They got divorced to wash their hands of the mess. Don’t be so quick to paint all women with the same brush. More dads are fighting for 50/50 and winning. Just because your situation is the way that it is doesn’t mean others are. There are plenty of moms on here who WANT their exes to spend more times with the kids but they don’t want to.

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                      • #12
                        Thanks Rockscan. I know this sounds harsh, but I sometimes think my ex got a Get out of Jail Card Free.

                        The children require constant care, it puts a strain of relationships. There is little time to nourish your relationship and the children's needs came before our own. My ex and I agree, that looking back, we should have tried harder to do that. Moving forward my ex now knows better to carve out time for his partner. and have a better balance. I will too, should I become involved with a new partner one day.

                        I also know from here that its difficult to make a parent want to parent, but I'm not going down without a fight

                        As for YoungDad with his hate for his ex and women in general, his racial slurs and derogatory remarks on people with disabilities, he makes my ex look like a Saint. Hopefully his ex is doing what she can to shield their daughter from it. Hate breeds Hate.

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                        • #13
                          Just wanted to add something for Istanbul's sake, the Judge at my Motion had read all the materials. My lawyer tells me this is not always the case. If you happen to get a Judge that has not read all the materials, unless your lawyer knows your case inside and out, you may want to be there.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by kate331 View Post
                            Just wanted to add something for Istanbul's sake, the Judge at my Motion had read all the materials. My lawyer tells me this is not always the case. If you happen to get a Judge that has not read all the materials, unless your lawyer knows your case inside and out, you may want to be there.
                            I hope a judge will read everything, but I am not surprised to hear that some judges skip it. Just like in any profession, some are thorough at what they do, and some are not.

                            I will prepare my lawyer as well as I can. Thanks for the heads up.

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                            • #15
                              Yes, my ex refused to pay too, but before he could unleash his lawyer on me, I applied and received Government funding to get him off the hook. Its a City run daycare run by caring staff, I dont think for a minute they have any other agenda but offering all their charges a safe and nurturing place to spend their day.

                              As for the other child, yes I am excited! That extra $$$ I took from my ex, is going to enable him to have some fun at camps this summer, while I work.

                              Comment

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