wouldn't shared give him more decision making power? shared custody means to me that half the time he can do whatever he wants regarding our kid. he would not care for my opinion because according to him I am so stupid.
He could also have joint custody with less than 50% access which would mean that you also consult each other on decisions and have to come to a resolution before one is made.
Understand that these issues revolve around school, religion, health, etc (major). Small decisions are generally handled by whichever parent has access at the time.
I would agree that if you're having communication issues that shared or joint custody is a lot tougher. But I think what you should consider is more physical access for your ex. I think you're way too involved in playing gatekeeper and while you don't see it now...it will come back to bite you in the ass when your kid is older. Relax a bit and understand that your daughter's relationship with her father is her right and has nothing to do with you.
By the way, I was also married to a man of arabic descent...I'm a different minority...and I actually didn't take your comments to be racist at all. There is definitely a significant culture difference in the way that "some" men of arabic descent view women...but more particularly view marital relationships. Racism would suggest that these traits are biological...they aren't. They're cultural...meaning that its the environment that one is raised in that helps determine one's social norms. And having been through it myself...its extremely relevant when you're in a marital relationship with someone with those types of views.
However, that being said....so what? Your daughter should have the benefit of being exposed to a variety of differing mindsets, beliefs and viewpoints. It will give her a framework by which to decide who and how she wants to be.
I can take care of the rest.
and don't forget we are living more than 20 km apart...him in halton...I live in peel...her school is in peel and I don't drive.
I already gave him a waiver on 2 years of child support payments and spousal support he never has to pay even though he makes more than triple I do.
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