I'm going to make a T-shirt that says:
"I went to Family Court, and all I got was this stupid ulcer"
I guess this is my introduction/request for advice. So I'll begin with the basics.
My name is Steve and I'm a single working father who currently has a near 50% interim/temporarily ordered access time with my daughter. We have been through the paces of the Case Conference and Case Settlement (which was today) and things have been moved to the Trial Management step. My ex and I are entrenched on the issues of support, custody and access as follows:
I have asked for
My ex wants to dial back my time to one day during the week and claims that the current arrangement will affect her schooling, homework, extra curricular activities as well as impact the time she spends with her biological sister (my ex's child from a previous relationship). She is also asking for sole custody and requesting more support than was previously agreed upon in the Interim Order.
Cole's Notes version of my situation:
I won't bore you with more detals. All I can say is I could line up a parade of family, friends and casual acquaintances who can attest that the allegations and claims being made in my ex's papers are either complete lies, or at one time were partial truths that have been taken so far out of context that they are now lies. My family has loved both my daughter and my ex's daughter (who is now 8 years old) and to this day my ex's daughter STILL asks to come stay with me and her sister (my daughter).
I am honestly frustrated as hell because I feel like I am losing ground in all of this and I just want to have the time my daughter currently spends with me protected and not get raked over the coals with support.
My biggest beef is the fact that in Aug/Sept of 2009 I finally had enough and served my ex with papers after she attempted to take time with my daughter away from me like she tried other times whenever we argued. Not even twelve hours later she had filed her response which was basically nothing but slander of me and painted me in a negative light like I was a lacklustre father at best who hardly helped out. She also asked for FULL SUPPORT TABLE AMOUNT from day one.
Keep in mind prior to me serving her with papers, she filed NOTHING with the courts whatsoever. All of the allegations and claims came out of the woodwork right after I served her.
Believe me, if I had the time and patience to type out my entire story I'd love to do so and I know that people would probably hate her just on principle alone. But that would do no good for myself or my daughter other than be a passive outlet for my frustrations.
I'm just tired of all this court bullshit and I want to put it behind me and get on with my life with my daughter. How do you get a court to see through the smoke and mirrors of an angry spiteful ex who has an axe to grind that you are a genuine and honest father who just want to be an equal part of his daughter's life? Because I'm running out of patience and both mental and emotinal strength trying to stay positive through all this.
"I went to Family Court, and all I got was this stupid ulcer"
I guess this is my introduction/request for advice. So I'll begin with the basics.
My name is Steve and I'm a single working father who currently has a near 50% interim/temporarily ordered access time with my daughter. We have been through the paces of the Case Conference and Case Settlement (which was today) and things have been moved to the Trial Management step. My ex and I are entrenched on the issues of support, custody and access as follows:
I have asked for
- Joint custody
- The time I currently have with my little girl that has been status quo since March of 2009 be protected, that being every week from Tues @ 5pm to Thurs @ 8am and every other weekend from Friday @ 5pm to Monday @ 8am (pick ups and drop offs occur at her school or daycare)
- Support to me ex in the amount of $325/mo which was laid out in an Interim Order at the last Conference be maintained and not increased
My ex wants to dial back my time to one day during the week and claims that the current arrangement will affect her schooling, homework, extra curricular activities as well as impact the time she spends with her biological sister (my ex's child from a previous relationship). She is also asking for sole custody and requesting more support than was previously agreed upon in the Interim Order.
Cole's Notes version of my situation:
- Common-law with my ex, I have never been married previously
- Cohabitated for two years, together for a little over four
- Her daughter she has with a previous relationship was 8mos old at the time we started dating
- Adia was conceived during a time we were set to separate
- Attempted to remain together for the sake of the girls (I helped to raise her daughter before the birth of my daughter) with little success
- Separated officially in October 2006
- Have been involved in BOTH girls' lives (my daughter's since birth, her daughter's since 8 months old) on a large and libera basis
- Countless times I have had both girls for family events, special occasions and just to spend time with them for no particular reason
- Time spent with Adia was two evenings during the week and every other weekend
- Status quo as of March was as stated above in the Interim Order
- My daughter is now 4.5 yrs old and when my ex and I got into an argument she tried to withold my weekday time, calling the police and claiming my mother and I "kidnapped" her daughter
I won't bore you with more detals. All I can say is I could line up a parade of family, friends and casual acquaintances who can attest that the allegations and claims being made in my ex's papers are either complete lies, or at one time were partial truths that have been taken so far out of context that they are now lies. My family has loved both my daughter and my ex's daughter (who is now 8 years old) and to this day my ex's daughter STILL asks to come stay with me and her sister (my daughter).
I am honestly frustrated as hell because I feel like I am losing ground in all of this and I just want to have the time my daughter currently spends with me protected and not get raked over the coals with support.
My biggest beef is the fact that in Aug/Sept of 2009 I finally had enough and served my ex with papers after she attempted to take time with my daughter away from me like she tried other times whenever we argued. Not even twelve hours later she had filed her response which was basically nothing but slander of me and painted me in a negative light like I was a lacklustre father at best who hardly helped out. She also asked for FULL SUPPORT TABLE AMOUNT from day one.
Keep in mind prior to me serving her with papers, she filed NOTHING with the courts whatsoever. All of the allegations and claims came out of the woodwork right after I served her.
Believe me, if I had the time and patience to type out my entire story I'd love to do so and I know that people would probably hate her just on principle alone. But that would do no good for myself or my daughter other than be a passive outlet for my frustrations.
I'm just tired of all this court bullshit and I want to put it behind me and get on with my life with my daughter. How do you get a court to see through the smoke and mirrors of an angry spiteful ex who has an axe to grind that you are a genuine and honest father who just want to be an equal part of his daughter's life? Because I'm running out of patience and both mental and emotinal strength trying to stay positive through all this.
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