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Custody: questions re: the wording in our Final Order, Form 25

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  • Custody: questions re: the wording in our Final Order, Form 25

    Hi everyone,
    I am filling out my son's passport application and ofcourse there are questions re: the OP. I am a bit confused by the wording as I look at it now (order made in June/09), as well as what "isn't" specified.

    It begins by stating "The Court Orders on Consent that; the mother shall have primary care and custody of the child, "Bobby" born on xx/xx/xx"

    "The Respondent Father shall have access as follows" - and from there it goes on to outline and address EOW access, holidays (Easter/Christmas etc)"

    "Each party shall have up to four full weeks of uninterrupted vacation each calendar year, during weeks that fall under "Bobby's" breaks from school. In the event they cannot agree, the Mother shall have her first choice of weeks in odd-numbered years w/a deadline of May 15th to inform the father of which weeks she intends to have such visitation, and the father shall have his first choice of weeks in even-numbered years w/a deadline of May 15th to inform the Mother of which weeks he intends to have such visitation."
    *Note: he has never made the request, let alone by the "deadline" required, and has likely forgotten all about this clause*

    "The parties shall cooperate in ensuring "Bobby" maintains a Passport. The mother shall prepare the paperwork and the father shall sign the application form, if required. The mother shall retain "Bobby's" passport unless the Father needs it for travel."

    "The Mother shall not move out of Southwestern Ontario without first providing 60 days notice to the Father."

    "The Mother shall make the daily decisions for Bobby"

    Etc. Etc. Okay- so this order is signed by my (then) lawyer. It is not stamped by the Court. It's a photocopy basically. So my question is - without it saying "Joint Custody" "Shared Custody" or "Sole Custody" - what exactly DO I have? Sole custody w/access (to OP)? Joint Custody w/access (to OP)?

    He has agreed to sign the passport application and I suppose what I need to send w/it is this "form 25" - still, I'd like to know what this forum's take on this arrangement is. Aside from EOW access, there is NO communication between father and son. Father does not ask or seem to care about school, (I make copies of progress reports and send to him), choice of High School, does not know any of our son's friends or their parents, has never attended the school for a function or parent-teacher meeting, and we as "parents" are very high conflict and it was decided long ago (2007) that we are better off not communicating at all, w/the exception of a very infrequent text message or email. Son is 13, so the routine is, EOW, father picks him up from school, and returns him Sunday, often late. Sometimes early (whatever suits him) and I usually get little or no notice, unless my son advises me.
    Last edited by hadenough; 02-08-2012, 11:10 AM. Reason: typo

  • #2
    PS; not confused by the wording of passport app - but the app is what made me look @the custody agreement, which I'm required to submit, with the App.

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    • #3
      Joint custody with access.

      Why all the fuss over this! ?

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      • #4
        It's a long boring story - I was initially seeking sole custody (w/access) and was never pleased w/the way the custody issue was dealt with. Ex has assault charges against him (going back 5 years) and I simply can't stand the charade of being considered as "joint" in our custody as "joint" implies cooperation and some measure of being able to get along for the purposes of co-parenting the Child. A little unreasonable to expect that we would get along seeing as he's threatened my life and I'm just waiting for the pending fireworks when FRO starts calling him soon. I fully expect to get some drama from both the ex, and his wife - which has happened in the past resulting in the Police getting involved. I have considered seeking a variance to the Custody Order (and I have plenty of emails/texts from him to show how menacing and spiteful he is) but I just can't stand the thought of going back to Court. Anyway, this passport issue will not be a problem from what I can tell.

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        • #5
          According to a Toronto Firm-Child Custody in Ontario

          Definition - Child Custody is defined as having care, control and responsibility for the well-being of a child.
          Child custody can be:
          • sole, which means that only one person is awarded custody of the child;
          • joint, which means that more than one person, usually both of the child’s parents, share custody of the child, and have equal rights and responsibilities for the child;
          • split, which is where the parties each have custody of a child of the marriage (For example, the mother has custody of the older child, who lives with her; and the father has custody of the younger child, who lives with him.);
          • shared, in which the parents have joint custody, and the child lives for an equal length of time with each parent.
          Child custody is a way of designating who has the right to make decisions on behalf of the child(ren). Just because the child(ren) live(s) with one parent on a day-to-day basis does not mean that the other parent does not have legal custody rights. A parent who does not have the children living with him or her on a regular basis, but has joint child custody is still entitled to have all parental rights, for example: receiving copies of their child’s report cards, to speak to teachers and/or doctors about their child, and to make decisions about whether or not the child should have surgery. If a parent does not have a legal child custody agreement, but has access rights to visitation with the child, they are entitled to all of the above information, they simply do not get to be involved in making the decisions.
          The only way a parent can not have child custody is either if they agree to it in a separation agreement, or if a court orders that one parent not be granted child custody. The court begins by assuming that the parents should have joint custody, and if one person feels that it is not in the child’s best interests for the parents to have joint custody, then they must show why this is so. The responsibility is on the parent asking for sole custody to show why the other parent ought not to have any legal custody of the child.

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          • #6
            In the absence of a statement of custody on your order (i.e. Custody to the other parent) you are a joint custodial parent under the law. Being a parent is an opt-in clause at birth clause. If the order doesn't state that you are not a custodial parent explicitly then you are a joint custodial parent under the law.

            Many doctors, schools, etc... Do not understand this and it is why they usually explicitly state "joint custody" and then define access. Under the law you have as much right to be involved in custodial decisions about your child with their school, doctor, etc... This isn't dependent on your access schedule.

            Good Luck!
            Tayken

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