I'm sure many of you have dealt with this to varying degrees...
The schedule is ex has Wed and Thurs 6-9 and eow (friday 5pm - sunday 5pm) as his time with the boys. That was the schedule we came up with when he moved out - actually, he wanted "the boys can call when they want to see me" and I nixed that idea and wanted a regular routine. During talks with lawyers we decided to keep same schedule - although I added that no makeup times were to be given for missed time (his true colours were already showing with his cancelling evenings)
So we're six months in since it was filed with the court and he has now missed all of his Thursdays and about half of his Wednesdays. He's supposed to give me notice - which he doesn't. Just texts the boys that he's busy...has a meeting...is out for dinner and can't make it...is going to a concert...has a date...going on vacation...etc etc.
Why bother with an agreement if you're not going to stick to it? And what can I do? Is it worth going back (we're still dealing with lawyers on other issues) and saying the schedule is now EOW only plus a weeknight if requested and I can accommodate?? It really makes it hard to plan and schedule our own things.
I've asked the boys what they want to do about it. The eldest doesn't care. He's annoyed by dad but just goes with the flow. The youngest is definitely bothered but won't tell dad how his cancelling on them makes him feel. But he's afraid of telling dad not to come during the week because he enjoys their time when he does show up. (he's typical npd - very charming with the boys, real life of the party - when he remembers he has kids he's good with them)
What to do?
The schedule is ex has Wed and Thurs 6-9 and eow (friday 5pm - sunday 5pm) as his time with the boys. That was the schedule we came up with when he moved out - actually, he wanted "the boys can call when they want to see me" and I nixed that idea and wanted a regular routine. During talks with lawyers we decided to keep same schedule - although I added that no makeup times were to be given for missed time (his true colours were already showing with his cancelling evenings)
So we're six months in since it was filed with the court and he has now missed all of his Thursdays and about half of his Wednesdays. He's supposed to give me notice - which he doesn't. Just texts the boys that he's busy...has a meeting...is out for dinner and can't make it...is going to a concert...has a date...going on vacation...etc etc.
Why bother with an agreement if you're not going to stick to it? And what can I do? Is it worth going back (we're still dealing with lawyers on other issues) and saying the schedule is now EOW only plus a weeknight if requested and I can accommodate?? It really makes it hard to plan and schedule our own things.
I've asked the boys what they want to do about it. The eldest doesn't care. He's annoyed by dad but just goes with the flow. The youngest is definitely bothered but won't tell dad how his cancelling on them makes him feel. But he's afraid of telling dad not to come during the week because he enjoys their time when he does show up. (he's typical npd - very charming with the boys, real life of the party - when he remembers he has kids he's good with them)
What to do?
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