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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 01-06-2020, 11:12 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Did you ever stop to think that she tells you this because she knows it gets to you? It is obvious she plays games with you.

Plus she has costs to have the kids full time which you pay for.

GET OVER IT!
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  #12  
Old 01-06-2020, 11:52 PM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
reading this thread and I'm curious.... how do you know for sure what your ex is doing with the CS?

If she is banking everything then that would mean that she is using HER money to pay household and child expenses. If she takes money that you pay and buys RESPs (thus gaining tax relief and resources for kid's secondary education) then she is pretty smart. Also, if she knows that if she sends kids to your place in crappy old clothes KNOWING that you will spring for new ones, sounds money-wise to me.

I don't believe your ex is getting "rich" - raising kids is expensive.
This ^^^^!

Its a numbers game. The transfers are electronic. They get mixed into a big pool on her side. Do you want the magnetic dots that you sent her representing the kids money to be sorted differently in the magenetic dots representing her money? Proof of bytes?

The one thing to consider is that in most cases CS is not forever. There are no able-bodied 25-year-olds getting CS. CS is time-limited. Unless your child has a disability and then CS is for life.
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Old 01-07-2020, 12:28 AM
LovingDad1234 LovingDad1234 is offline
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Appreciate the feedback.

I think the point is being missed. 50/50 shouldve occurred in near future, so it would be fair game. I have my salary, you have yours, and we do week on/week off, have a nice life.

Instead, the system allows her to play it, and be stubborn by playing the court game, get slammed by judges but who cares because its only a SC (we had 4 which each cost me $5k), delaying 50/50 as long as possible to optimize the duration of CS payments, knowing full well it would cost me far more at a trial in 2 years. And even if costs are awarded, its a fraction of what is paid in legal fees, so it goes to lawyer anyway.

Either way I would have gotten 50/50....either through trial but the court is clogged so it wouldnt be until 2 years from now, or via settlement which sees her delaying 50/50 for 2 years. Either way she gets CS for 2 years because she played the game to her advantage. Play hardball and fight for 50/50 now? Wont get a trial for 2 years. Arrive at settlement to avoid trial? She holds all the cards because she knows the timeline and costs involved of pursuing a trial.
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Old 01-07-2020, 12:44 AM
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Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
I think the point is being missed.
Point is being missed but, not by those responding but, by you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
50/50 shouldve occurred in near future, so it would be fair game. I have my salary, you have yours, and we do week on/week off, have a nice life.
Should have, could have, ... You have an agreement. You have to pay CS based on the agreement made on consent. You don't like how the CS game works write a letter to your MP. You have to pay.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
Instead, the system allows her to play it, and be stubborn by playing the court game, get slammed by judges but who cares because its only a SC (we had 4 which each cost me $5k), delaying 50/50 as long as possible to optimize the duration of CS payments, knowing full well it would cost me far more at a trial in 2 years.
At any time you could have brought a motion to resolve these issues. You didn't. You went into the endless loop of Settlement Conferences. Nothing stopped you from bringing a motion to resolve all or some of these issues.

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Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
And even if costs are awarded, its a fraction of what is paid in legal fees, so it goes to lawyer anyway.
On top of that costs, awards at SC are even rarer! Yet, you went to 4 of them! At your first one, your lawyer should have advised you that SC's are a waste that you are not close to the issues and recommended bringing a motion.

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Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
Either way I would have gotten 50/50....either through trial but the court is clogged so it wouldnt be until 2 years from now, or via settlement which sees her delaying 50/50 for 2 years.
You became pound wise. Good for you. Most people do not and the 2 years actually turns into 5 and 150,000 in legal fees that, as you pointed out, never get ordered!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
Either way she gets CS for 2 years because she played the game to her advantage. Play hardball and fight for 50/50 now? Wont get a trial for 2 years.
Actually, if you had a good lawyer and you brought a motion properly you could have moved to a long motion hearing and then a trial faster. But, see this is the things that good lawyers know how to do. They can progress cases to trial faster. Difference between a barrister and a solicitor. More than likely you had a "solicitor" and not a "barrister". Barristers litigate... Solicitors "solicit" for solutions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
Arrive at settlement to avoid trial? She holds all the cards because she knows the timeline and costs involved of pursuing a trial.
You knew the costs too! You admitted to it above! 2 years of CS isn't awful. There are parents here paying 20 years of CS. Don't be focused on CS. It will grind your life to a halt if you go down the spiral.

CS doesn't bankrupt parents. Living beyond their means does.
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