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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 10-12-2018, 03:08 PM
menchia menchia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
did you have a separation agreement?

Honestly- it sounds like you're still married....and you've been in a 10 year long fight? Have either of you had other relationships openly that the other person knew about?

I'm trying to figure out how you are "separated". Did you live in two separate apartments in the home? did you share a kitchen? did she continue to take care of the home- other than financially?
We do not have a formal separation agreement yet, as she refuses to sign or even read one. I take care of the kids (including cooking for them and myself, etc.) in 99.0% of the time. We stopped considering ourselves as married long time ago (shortly after separation). The only reason I did not go ahead with the divorce then is because of our children (still very young at that time) and neither of us can afford to move out.
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  #12  
Old 10-12-2018, 03:53 PM
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1) Who did the laundry? Did you each do your own laundry? Who did the kid's laundry?
2) Who cleaned the house? Did you take turns cleaning the common areas, and never cleaned the other person's room?
3) Did you guys go on vacation together?
4) Have you guys engaged in sexual activity with each other over the last 10 years?

I'm not making up those questions, I've seen judges reference those things in decisions.
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  #13  
Old 10-12-2018, 04:09 PM
menchia menchia is offline
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Originally Posted by Janus View Post
1) Who did the laundry? Did you each do your own laundry? Who did the kid's laundry?
2) Who cleaned the house? Did you take turns cleaning the common areas, and never cleaned the other person's room?
3) Did you guys go on vacation together?
4) Have you guys engaged in sexual activity with each other over the last 10 years?

I'm not making up those questions, I've seen judges reference those things in decisions.
1) Each does his own laundry
2)I clean certain parts and she does the rest, but never cleaned each other rooms
3)Never on vacation together after separation
4)Yes we did, but I can count the number of times on my hand...but never resulted in reconciliation
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  #14  
Old 10-12-2018, 04:43 PM
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Here's an important question...does she think you're separated?
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  #15  
Old 10-12-2018, 06:45 PM
menchia menchia is offline
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Originally Posted by iona6656 View Post
Here's an important question...does she think you're separated?
Absolutely. In several occasions she even told me that as far as she's concerned we're already divorced.

Another thing that was brought to my attention just today is that there is a time limit in Ontario for Net Family Property Equalization. The limit, I was told, is 6 years from the date of separation or two years after divorce, whichever is earlier. In my case since we've been separated since 2008, it seems the time to apply for equalization has expired...
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  #16  
Old 10-14-2018, 01:09 AM
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meh..., your married. You have plenty of money now to divy up between the two of you and to pay for lawyers to set up a divorce.

Your description of your life sounds quite lonely. Many people unfortunately live in loveless marriages for decades. Yours is no different.

I do not see your situation as unique. You make more money than your wife and the two incomes supported a lifestyle that you both enjoyed, even though you kept separate bank accounts as many do.

Your excuse for not finalizing divorce years ago is thin. Hope you don't waste court's resources. File and get on with your life.
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  #17  
Old 10-14-2018, 09:23 AM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
meh..., your married. You have plenty of money now to divy up between the two of you and to pay for lawyers to set up a divorce.

Your description of your life sounds quite lonely. Many people unfortunately live in loveless marriages for decades. Yours is no different.

I do not see your situation as unique. You make more money than your wife and the two incomes supported a lifestyle that you both enjoyed, even though you kept separate bank accounts as many do.

Your excuse for not finalizing divorce years ago is thin. Hope you don't waste court's resources. File and get on with your life.
That's really cold Arabian! I find it amazing that some people jump to judgement without knowing the details or the circumstances of one's struggle.

Not everyone who posts in this forum tells every detail of their relationship. I post here only aspects that require clarification from the perspective of the Family Law of ontario or the Divorce Act. I'd like to see people like you to focus more on aiding in answering some of these "legal" questions (which could help other readers of this forum) and less on posting back unwarranted inflammatory comments.

But let me tell you this, you are absolutely incorrect in assuming that we had a lot of money and we were enjoying it. Except for the last 2 years or so we were living from pay cheque to pay cheque, and due to severe illness of one of my kids (life threatening condition) I put everything about myself on the back burner. My child is out of the woods as of now (health improving as the kid gets older), we or rather I am starting to get back to resolve my problems (marriage) now.
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  #18  
Old 10-14-2018, 07:45 PM
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Reality my friend.

The only thing cold is your conniving to cut your wife out of her share of assets. Home had equity in it when you bought it in 2007 (did the price drop?) You both work. You both contributed, one way or another, to the marriage.

All marriages have their ups and downs and challenges. For whatever reason (that you choose not to share with us) you and your wife stayed together. She likely has her own version of things. If the two of you can't come to an agreement, and you are still intent on divorcing, then the court will decide for you. If you think I'm cold, just wait until you are in front of a judge answering he/her questions. Big one is why you waited so long.... and all the complicated "isms" that go along with those sorts of questions.

You posted asking for people's opinions and you got mine.
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  #19  
Old 10-14-2018, 11:18 PM
menchia menchia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Reality my friend.

The only thing cold is your conniving to cut your wife out of her share of assets. Home had equity in it when you bought it in 2007 (did the price drop?) You both work. You both contributed, one way or another, to the marriage.

All marriages have their ups and downs and challenges. For whatever reason (that you choose not to share with us) you and your wife stayed together. She likely has her own version of things. If the two of you can't come to an agreement, and you are still intent on divorcing, then the court will decide for you. If you think I'm cold, just wait until you are in front of a judge answering he/her questions. Big one is why you waited so long.... and all the complicated "isms" that go along with those sorts of questions.

You posted asking for people's opinions and you got mine.
You are projecting your own bitter experience onto mine making your opinion skewed to say the least. My wife is aware of everything going on and she never would subscribe to your description of me as conniving and trying to cut her off of her share of assets. In fact, we have already agreed that we would never go to court in case of disagreement, and in the worst case scenario, we will opt for arbitration. We'll leave the court battles for you for more years to come. With this attitude no wonder your ex keeps dragging you to court. Now it's confirmed that you are really a cold and bitter woman. I didn't ask for opinion from belligerent and bitter people.

I understand that you had a bad divorce experience and who doesn't, but with over 10000 posts from you everyone heard only your side of the story, and I'm certain that your side of the story is not all true. I'm certain that your bitterness is making your opinion unreliable and faulty for those cases that have or you may think have the slightess resemblance to yours. It is clear that you're not impartial to men going through divorce. Please don't respond to my posts anymore. In my case, your opinion is not welcome. Don't bother responding to my posts, as I'm not going to waste my time with you.
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  #20  
Old 10-15-2018, 12:10 AM
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blah blah blah

"matrimonial home" - read up on that for a start
You are living in the matrimonial home.

Presumably your dear wife, who never paid for anything, by now has amassed a small fortune - you would be entitled to your portion as she is of your pension.

quit the histrionics if you want assistance.

I could care less if you are male or female.

Do yourself a favor and instead of trying to pick a fight with me, start doing some reading and educate yourself.

I went through binding arbitration. Educate yourself on the importance of "binding" arbitration.

Also read up on "independent legal advice" - important for both of you before you agree to cede any assets or liabilities.

Carry on. Learn to take some honest criticism.... it will help you in the end. Or... you can hire a lawyer who will blow smoke up your ass and tell you what you want to hear.

Or... post again in another 6 years and let us know how things are going.



If you don't want to read my posts then hit the "ignore" button
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matrimonial home, shared equity, unjust enrichment


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