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  • divorce kills women!

    Divorcees 'have more heart attacks' - BBC News

  • #2
    Well...it might not kill men as much, but it finally cripples most and drive them to drink / drugs. I couldn't help but notice how in the picture of the cake, wife gets the house, pets and everything else...a coincide perhaps?



    In the following picture...am sure there are many "married" couple who leave as lodgers i.e. putting on a facade' for their friends and family

    Comment


    • #3
      The Ontario Chief Coroner agrees with the article - divorce/separation does kill women. Of course, the Chief Coroner cites a difference reason for death:

      http://www.mcscs.jus.gov.on.ca/stell...t/ec165340.pdf

      Source: Ontario Ministry of Community Safety & Correctional Services,
      Office of the Chief Coroner
      Ministry of Community Safety and Correctional Services :: 2012 Report
      Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

      Comment


      • #4
        without checking the link i imagine it is a domestic abuse scenario....

        actually the interesting thing here is that 99% of the time people say divorce makes women happier and men died earlier this is pretty much the opposite.

        i bet if they controlled for judicial decisions in family court they'd find men were happier after divorce.

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        • #5
          ^ I know right. The coroner from Ontario surely doesn't speak for every other coroner around the globe.

          Comment


          • #6
            actually the interesting thing here is that 99% of the time people say divorce makes women happier and men died earlier this is pretty much the opposite.
            lol...I must be the 1%. I'm much healthier and less stressed after divorce and I'm much, much happier.

            I just had a physical and I'm physically optimal. Of course, I don't have financial or ongoing custody issues which I think is a huge contributor to stress and anxiety after divorce.

            I think I have had some lucky things happen to me though. I didn't have to deal with too much dating...which can be depressing. I found the right better partner quickly and he was very supportive during my divorce. I had a supportive family who I could vent to and was on my side. I have great kids who easily transitioned the divorce process without being super angry at me for ending the marriage. And I took a lot of nature walks and took up relaxation techniques to help with the anxiety caused by the divorce procedure (meditation, exercise, lots and lots of sex).

            The bottom line is that even if I was on the verge of a heart attack right this moment because of my divorce, I'd still do it. It was the best decision I've ever made. And one minute away from my crappy marriage and with my new husband (yes, I got remarried) was worth anything...even poor health. Getting away from my ex was definitely worth dying for.

            All this article tells me is that women need to move forward into divorce without guilt....they need to be more financially prepared to leave...and they need to take care of themselves during the process. You need to remove the anxiety and not let it consume your life.

            I'd also recommend you let go of the bitterness and hatred after the divorce is over (cough, cough Links).

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            • #7
              Despite being trapped in a horrific marriage where my safety and that of the children were at constant risk, divorce proceedings escalated things to a completely different level of stress. Prior to becoming involved in the family court system I was healthy. Since then I have blown the blood vessels in both my sclera during court and suffered a silent heart attack which was discovered when I had an ECG for a minor procedure. If my ex doesn't kill me, the stress of family court may.

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              • #8
                So sorry to hear that, and hope you find peace soon. I don't know how people are able to jump into another marriage so quickly after just coming out of one, but I guess whatever makes people comfortable.

                I know some people always have to be with someone, and fear being alone even for a little while.

                Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
                Despite being trapped in a horrific marriage where my safety and that of the children were at constant risk, divorce proceedings escalated things to a completely different level of stress. Prior to becoming involved in the family court system I was healthy. Since then I have blown the blood vessels in both my sclera during court and suffered a silent heart attack which was discovered when I had an ECG for a minor procedure. If my ex doesn't kill me, the stress of family court may.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
                  lol...I must be the 1%. I'm much healthier and less stressed after divorce and I'm much, much happier.

                  I just had a physical and I'm physically optimal. Of course, I don't have financial or ongoing custody issues which I think is a huge contributor to stress and anxiety after divorce.

                  I think I have had some lucky things happen to me though. I didn't have to deal with too much dating...which can be depressing. I found the right better partner quickly and he was very supportive during my divorce. I had a supportive family who I could vent to and was on my side. I have great kids who easily transitioned the divorce process without being super angry at me for ending the marriage. And I took a lot of nature walks and took up relaxation techniques to help with the anxiety caused by the divorce procedure (meditation, exercise, lots and lots of sex).

                  The bottom line is that even if I was on the verge of a heart attack right this moment because of my divorce, I'd still do it. It was the best decision I've ever made. And one minute away from my crappy marriage and with my new husband (yes, I got remarried) was worth anything...even poor health. Getting away from my ex was definitely worth dying for.

                  All this article tells me is that women need to move forward into divorce without guilt....they need to be more financially prepared to leave...and they need to take care of themselves during the process. You need to remove the anxiety and not let it consume your life.

                  I'd also recommend you let go of the bitterness and hatred after the divorce is over (cough, cough Links).
                  You misunderstood - I was commenting how must studies indicate divorce is wonderful for women (except financially) and men eventually die due to divorce related ailments. THIS study indicates the opposite.

                  Thanks for your concern, why don't you send me 2/3 of your paycheque to make me feel better

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Doesn't really matter what some study claims .... divorce is hard of both genders, physically, financially and emotionally. Dealing with greedy lawyers, bored judges and the stress of going to court is enough to make anyone sick! It's dehumanizing bullcrap (and that's on a good day).

                    My ex suffered a massive heart attack last year (due in part to the stress of divorce) and now has a pace-maker. I've been to therapy and was on anxiety medication for the first two years.

                    Imagine what it does to our children?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Janibel View Post
                      Doesn't really matter what some study claims .... divorce is hard of both genders, physically, financially and emotionally. Dealing with greedy lawyers, bored judges and the stress of going to court is enough to make anyone sick! It's dehumanizing bullcrap (and that's on a good day).

                      My ex suffered a massive heart attack last year (due in part to the stress of divorce) and now has a pace-maker. I've been to therapy and was on anxiety medication for the first two years.

                      Imagine what it does to our children?
                      They say "children will survive" - like that is good enough...

                      The underlying point is that it has been widely portrayed as better for women that being in an "abusive" marriage and considering 70% of divorces are filed by women - I wonder if these stats are not skewed to encourage them to file to divorce (indirectly) as a means of feed the divorce-industrial complex.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        I personally know three people who had nervous breakdowns during their divorces. Seeing them in those states, was tough to content with until I got to see it first hand.

                        Ironically, my father and I have better communication now following his divorce, than while my parents were married.

                        There's not a formal linkage between the legal system and the mental health system. I have twice expressed concerns to my lawyer about my mental state, and my lawyer ignored the comments. I went as far as trying to call one of those lines for people in crisis, and was told "oh this is just the office, call this number instead" The proper answer would have been to redirect my call.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          When one is faced with the option of living with abuse VS divorce and all the problems associated with that process - it's the lesser of two evils.

                          The divorce industry (and yes it is an ever-growing commodity) can be just as abusive as whatever situation a spouse is trying to escape from. It makes victims of us all ... especially children who understand none of it, they just want their parents to get along.

                          The only good thing about divorce is the "possibility" of rebuilding a decent life after all is said and done. Some people never recuperate financially - others become bitter and end up living solitary lives for fear of being bamboozled again.

                          The biggest loss has to be what it does to children's sense of security, just ask any adult who's parents have divorced - years later, many still suffer the consequences of their family's break-up.
                          "Children will survive" yes they will - if ex spouses don't use them as pawns.

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                          • #14
                            Ah...I smell what yo are cooking here. It's akin to those bridal shows / exhibitions that are ever so popular this time of the year, encouraging women to get the dress / get married. Is there any any "groom show"?

                            Once it gets to the divorce stage, there is bias in the family courts, meaning more than 70% of the time, one gender gets things their way even when false accusation, and lack of disclosure takes place.

                            This encourages them to move on to the next person, and do it again knowing that they will come out of it again trumps. If it was fair first time around with no bias, most might think twice before jumping into another relationship.

                            Originally posted by Links17 View Post
                            They say "children will survive" - like that is good enough...

                            The underlying point is that it has been widely portrayed as better for women that being in an "abusive" marriage and considering 70% of divorces are filed by women - I wonder if these stats are not skewed to encourage them to file to divorce (indirectly) as a means of feed the divorce-industrial complex.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Neither my ex nor I have been favoured by any of the multiple judges we have come before to date. If it appeared things were going better for one of us, there was always a "twist". Like the proverbial knife in your back when you turn around.
                              Last edited by Stillbreathing; 04-20-2015, 08:27 AM. Reason: Spelling error

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