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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 10-11-2016, 08:05 AM
Knlynagh Knlynagh is offline
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Default No response after 30 days, refuses to communicate for separation agreement

I have filed in family court for divorce, sole custody due to abuse in home- FACS has removed him from the home- child support and exclusive possession of the home- he refused to acknowledge the court documents and after 30 days of being served has not responded. We need to divide property, and assign an access agreement for the kids, but he refuses to sign or agree to anything. I have an uncontested trial court date in January, but I am not sure if this is the same as a case conference or if this needs to be done prior to trial. I am doing this on my own as I am now a single mom of 4 !! Any help appreciated!
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Old 10-11-2016, 09:48 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Originally Posted by Knlynagh View Post
I have filed in family court for divorce, sole custody due to abuse in home- FACS has removed him from the home- child support and exclusive possession of the home- he refused to acknowledge the court documents and after 30 days of being served has not responded. We need to divide property, and assign an access agreement for the kids, but he refuses to sign or agree to anything. I have an uncontested trial court date in January, but I am not sure if this is the same as a case conference or if this needs to be done prior to trial. I am doing this on my own as I am now a single mom of 4 !! Any help appreciated!
Hopefully you have a lawyer. If you don't have one get one. Depending on the judge they may order the other parent's attendance and issue a subpoena. Not many things like this move "uncontested" and if they do the order provides a way for them to return to court.
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Old 10-11-2016, 11:42 AM
OrleansLawyer OrleansLawyer is offline
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I have an uncontested trial court date in January, but I am not sure if this is the same as a case conference
This is different from a case conference - it is, effectively, your trial.

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Hopefully you have a lawyer. If you don't have one get one. Depending on the judge they may order the other parent's attendance and issue a subpoena. Not many things like this move "uncontested" and if they do the order provides a way for them to return to court.
Sound advice. The result of an uncontested hearing depends on the judge. This is particularly so when a party is self-represented and the judge is not sure how much of the story they are being told.
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Old 10-11-2016, 11:55 AM
trinton trinton is offline
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Default No response after 30 days, refuses to communicate for separation agreement

There's got to be more to this than just he was abusive and removed from home by f&cs.

Was he arrested or charged with anything?


This must be hard on the 4 kids that you have with him.

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Last edited by trinton; 10-11-2016 at 11:58 AM.
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Old 10-11-2016, 01:08 PM
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Why would there need to be more? If he was abusive either to or in front of the kids to the point where child and family services removed the father not a whole lot more is needed.

I'm sure it was hard on the kids also living with someone abusive.
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Old 10-11-2016, 09:36 PM
Knlynagh Knlynagh is offline
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yes he has a history of abusive behaviour during our 20 yr marriage. FACS removed him due to threats to family and self harm (if I left him), and physical confrontations with myself while kids were in the home. I finally had the nerve to report him to police, but they said it was all verbal, financial and with minimal physical marks at the time, although bruising was evident as seen by officer, no criminal charges were laid. I was so nervous I begged them not to press charges initially fearing it would anger him more, so they did not pursue. Obviously I know this to be an error on their part and the woman's shelter in our area says it happens all too often. He is now allowed access to children after completing anger management and counseling, at my discretion. - so far so good. But I am still going ahead with the divorce. He refused to acknowledge reality and ignored all papers served to him from court. He knows it is going uncontested but doesn't believe they can do anything without his signature...and he will not agree to sit and discuss any of our property - home, trailer, cars, and access to kids. I have the trial date, but am unsure if I just show up or if I need more paper work. I certainly don't want to waste anyone's time and look a fool, and now I cant afford anything. I am still paying for mortgage, insurances, his truck loan, our trailer, all household bills and no child support. I even had to give him all my savings so he could afford his first and last (one time loan I hope) I need to cut him off - I know but a little at a time. he does work, but has never had to manage any money before I have done everything for 20 yrs. - my fault - I'm working on that too...lol I'm just check to check and even using our community care for help to get the children and myself by
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Old 10-11-2016, 10:15 PM
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No charges were laid. Think about it.


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Old 10-12-2016, 12:38 AM
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Originally Posted by Knlynagh View Post
yes he has a history of abusive behaviour during our 20 yr marriage. FACS removed him due to threats to family and self harm (if I left him), and physical confrontations with myself while kids were in the home. I finally had the nerve to report him to police, but they said it was all verbal, financial and with minimal physical marks at the time, although bruising was evident as seen by officer, no criminal charges were laid. I was so nervous I begged them not to press charges initially fearing it would anger him more, so they did not pursue. Obviously I know this to be an error on their part and the woman's shelter in our area says it happens all too often. He is now allowed access to children after completing anger management and counseling, at my discretion. - so far so good. But I am still going ahead with the divorce. He refused to acknowledge reality and ignored all papers served to him from court. He knows it is going uncontested but doesn't believe they can do anything without his signature...and he will not agree to sit and discuss any of our property - home, trailer, cars, and access to kids. I have the trial date, but am unsure if I just show up or if I need more paper work. I certainly don't want to waste anyone's time and look a fool, and now I cant afford anything. I am still paying for mortgage, insurances, his truck loan, our trailer, all household bills and no child support. I even had to give him all my savings so he could afford his first and last (one time loan I hope) I need to cut him off - I know but a little at a time. he does work, but has never had to manage any money before I have done everything for 20 yrs. - my fault - I'm working on that too...lol I'm just check to check and even using our community care for help to get the children and myself by
Long term marriages are very difficult to leave. You made the right decision for you. Congratulations! It must not have been easy. It sounds as though you are still emotionally/emphatically tied to your ex to be helping him out financially. Many cannot understand that situation, particularly after you called police for protection etc. It is extremely hard to just cut things off and not communicate with him. I really think you need to get some support through this time. You mentioned that you had support from the shelter. Did they direct you to a program that you can carry through on or would you be able to access the same people who initially assisted you? Times like these are quite overwhelming.

Has your ex accessed any sort of counselling for himself? While most will say that he isn't your problem, I understand that you still care deeply for him and it is quite natural to want to help him. Help in this aspect is much better than giving him money. You have to realize that small gestures of help (financial) on your part may come back to haunt you in the future when you go to court. It is just a matter of time before he seeks out and receives court-appointed legal counsel. This isn't a bad thing. Actually it is a good thing. Once day-to-day activities have to go through 3rd parties you may find things are easier.

Something that has to be settled soon in child support. Does your ex have a job/means of supporting you and the children? It is important that this be determined and an Order for interim CS and SS is done up.
Your kids deserve and are entitled to this. Don't delay on this.

Read lots on the internet and many people on this forum can offer some advice.

Glad you are sleeping safe tonight.

Unless hes is a serious danger to the kids DO NOT prevent him from seeing his children and spending meaningful time with them. if you do this will come back on you BIG time IF/WHEN you end up in court. He was their father for 20 years so changes is he will continue to care for them right?

Last edited by arabian; 10-12-2016 at 12:45 AM. Reason: other thoughts
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